Infidelity...whats the next step?

Question

My husband was unfaithfull after I gave birth to our first son, Im mexican hes english... he didnt have sex with the woman they kissed and went out to eat, they work in the same building and company...he tried to leave me, but then he said he wanted to stay...he kept telling me he didnt feel the same way he used to feel about me...but he has changed and he even confessed that he was still in touch with this woman, just as a friend used to go out to eat together or talk over the phone, now he has cried and say he really wants me to give him a chance, that he is going to change ...he stop talking to her..he says he wants to be with me and our son, I love him..very much but I dont know what to do..he really seems honest....please help me

Thanks

well what happened is that he decided not to see this woman anymore, she has been very insistent on the phone (his mobile phone of course) he asked me to talk to her, I really dont know what to say to this woman...he even suggested that we move to England, for the babys benefit and to make a fresh start with our marriage.

Answer 1

This could be a problem. He might find being with someone new exciting and might continue on to capture that thrill. WIth you it's only natural for the high to settle down due to being together for a long time. He needs therapy or someone to talk to him for this marriage to work out.

Answer 2

Men are crafty beasts; you have to be careful. As his wife, you probably know him better than anyone else. Use that knowledge to your advantage, seperate your feelings from what you know is true, and make a good decision on whether or not he is worth taking back. If you honestly believe he has changed, then by all means, take him back. None of us are perfect, and deserve second chances. However, if you think he is just scheming to get back with you for now only to jump back into someone elses bed later, don't put yourself through that. Whatever you do, you both need to be on the same page in order for things to really work. Be open and honest about your feelings, and get some help; find a good counselor. May God save your marriage.

Answer 3

Play hard to get and dont give in to his honest pleas urgently. Play your cards right and you may even teach him a lesson. No more food on the table, no more washing his clothes. Make yourself pretty and leave son at his custody and go out with friends. Make him jealous. Make him appreciate a good mexican homey woman. Play it like this for about a week or two even three if you can. Be happy with your life style or so pretend at least. Let him think you are having a thrill of a life without him. Then when he is nearly dying of hunger, and exhausted from cleaning around the house and looking after the ever so demanding young child and after he filled up your drawers with nice forgive me presents, then have a night out with him whilst having arranged for a trusted baby sitter. Be seductive and prettyy and sexy. Then make up but tell him if this ever ever happens, this would be the end of luxury life style he is having with you. Now if you played your cards right by the end of 3 weeks you will have him eating from the palm of your hand. Do it. It takes lots of self-control and strength but you can do it and do it for your and your son's future. Good atta girl.

Answer 4

Firstly I think that kissing is a very passionate thing and actually more betraying than the sex act itsself because kissing is an intimate thing. Also the fact that this other woman seems to be his soulmate in that they are spending time getting to know each other, she may be holding back on the sex until he leaves you, she may have given him an ultimatum. Sounds like he knows that you won't move back to England but is using that by putting the ball in your court. I would stop listening to what he tells you because men are not very generous when it comes to telling it like it really is. Go with the facts and decide whether or not you really want to be stuck with somebody who you will never trust again.

Answer 5

If you LOVE him what else can you do. Be a family, it was probably nothing. He realizes what he has done is wrong and wants to make it right. People do make mistakes and sometimes they learn from it.

I think that you should give him a chance, if he is willing to change.But you also have got to be willing to let it go. The more you bring it up throughout the relationship to win arguments the more it will push the two of you away. so you have to decide if you can look at him everyday and not see him out with that other woman?

Answer 6

no matter where he moves, if he doesn't get some help for this he will repeat it with someone else. guess he felt uneasy with this woman's insistence. he seems to continue to change his mind, putting your life on hold, and obviously making the home wrecker angry. think it was alot more than just friends with this woman, as if it were just that why would she still be contacting him, and trying to sway him away from u. something changed his mind, about her. so he is now begging u to forgive him. it is up to u, but moving away won't stop the problem. personally it is just too hard to get past it, alot of hard work involved, we never will forget it, but since there is a child involved, ask him to go to counseling, and if he refuses to do it, than he really isn't interested in regaining your trust. he has a problem with going outside the marriage for comfort.

Answer 7

hey listen I did the same thing for reason that we as human would never understand. I ask my wife to give a second chance.. we spoke about for weeks and then we got to point that we started to see that chemistry that started our relationship in the first place. we decide to give each other a chance. We set up rules and better communication skill that up to this day we practice it and we are still as one. we enjoy each other more than ever... as a woman you have that open channel so he could come freely to u and tell how he feels about anything. and him as a man he need to step up to the plate and speak his mine freely without remorse. Tells u what are his missing in his life.....

1. Set some rule that will hell you get that trust back.
2. Communicate better.
3. please each other in every way..
4. Be at tentative him and he also have be every at tentative to you.
5. do what you guys use to do when that spark came between you guys
OK wish u lots of luck

P.S. dont go back with him b/c u have a son with him...

Answer 8

You have to ask yourself what you want - what's really important. I am a pretty old fella, and in my experience of life I have come to learn the my partner's body is really the least important attribute. To build a long life together is difficult. Men, by their very nature, will tend to 'stray.' It is not your fault. But as long as it doesn't cause any harm to anyone - is it worth separating for? The same is true for women, though they tend not to stray as much. The article below is very interesting and unusual and may well give you some insight you can use. Good luck, and happy new year!

Answer 9

Sometimes, letting go seems like the easiest thing to do. But think about this: you've invested so much of your time and energy into another person; you've made a solemn promise; and you still know there's love, even if it's hiding underneath the surface. This website will show you how to save a marriage and avoid divorce, even if you're the only one trying https://tr.im/VtHvK

Answer 10

Let me tell you the truth.He has figured out that it is cheaper to keep you than to divorce you.If i were you I would make this my last child for awhile till I can go back to school get a profession and be able to look after myself.cheating is a very deliberate act.once you have gone through with it it becomes easier the next time around.He lied to you about only kissing her.he knows the smell of this woman from the top of her head to the bottom of her feet.If you want to keep him fine but sleep with one eye open.Good luck with your baby.