Half of marriages end in divorce. I don't think 98% of married couples really care about eachother at the end of the day. All they care about is sex. If the sex isn't good, well then, how can the marriage POSSIBLY last? It seems like there is nothing in it anymore. The vow says 'for better and worse until death do you part' - nobody follows that at all. People cheat too! If I get married, I want to actually uphold my vows, be a good husband to a good wife and vice versa, actually care, and love her. Forget all the other bs. Am I the only person in the world who feels this way?
2007-01-01 17:28:30 · 19 answers · asked by fslcaptain737 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My how can it POSSIBLY last comment was intended to point out the stupidity of sexuality's importance in marriage.
2007-01-01 18:05:40 · update #1
There's a lot of benefits to being married. Studies show overall people are happier, mostly men. But there's plenty of women who are happily married as well. I don't want to type up statistics because I've read so many. But as long as you truely love one another, there's no reason why your marriage won't last. There are ups and downs in all relationships. Once the lust wears off then you both create and work at more passion--just make sure after many yrs. of being together you still go out and spend TIME w/one another. It's sooooooo easy after awhile that one can get too caught up in work and kids & putting marriage on the back burner. After the yrs. go by....that sort of thing happens gradually and it'll kinda sneak up on you. So just make sure you two are always making dates w/one another atleast on the weekend so you stay connected.
Go buy that book "Real Love" at Barnes-n-Nobles
It explains how in all relationships, in the beginning, is "immitation love" in the beginning stages which relationships thrive off of for a few yrs.
Married couples, as time goes on, their love matures which turns more into a spiritual love/unconditional love.
2007-01-01 17:39:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I understand where you are coming from. I would say that these are some of the top reasons:
(1) they married for the wrong reasons (sex appeal, "I don't want to be lonely", "my biological clock is ticking", status and self perception <"single at this age? what's wrong with me?">), rather than looking for an ultimate companion
(2) love, lust, and infatuation are confused, and they really didn't know the person they were marrying... love grows, the others fade if there's no love
(3) when going gets tough, they quit and walk away rather then seeing it through and finding a way to make it work and being able to forgive eachother
(4) they take things and eachother for granted, no longer bother with effort to attract their mate, romantic gestures, and all the little things that makes a person's heart race when dating.
Sometimes though, it can really vary because of the nature of a person... there isn't really a set of rules that applies to each case.
My idea of marriage:
-- you love adore who the person really is on the inside
-- never take eachother for granted, but rather always put effort into yourself and into making your spouse feel like they are the most valuable treasure in the world (because they are).
-- your ultimate companion, best friend, and of course great sex appeal (no, not superficially, but rather you've got great chemistry)
-- always find a way and be willing to compromise... try seeing things from their viewpoint, be willing to work things out, be open and honest, never be hurtful just to win and argument, and never give up becuase its hard
2007-01-01 18:01:26 · answer #2 · answered by Saphire Aurora 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are the sucker wearing his heart on his sleeve, waiting to be control ed and manipulated for marriage sake.
I think the marriage you fantasies about is a dream or is few enjoyable short months from years worth of trying to keep it together.
It's easy being a good husband to good wife but what about a bad wife? You said better or worse didn't you? what if she cheats? What then?
Your letter only states your feelings. What does she want and what are you willing to do so she can realize her dreams and expectations?
If all is not well with you or her or the relationship marriage will not fix anything. It is not a final destination.
I think you are in Love with the dream.
You have not considered the harsh reality of life besides sex and faithfulness. You still seem to be viewing women as a posses ion you intend on hanging on to but not as an individual or an equal or even a partner. How many people do you think get married "not wanting to uphold their vows"?
Yes I guess you are the only one in the world that feels that way and your the only one that matters in your fantasy marriage. Good thing YOU decided to make it last.
2007-01-01 18:32:46 · answer #3 · answered by Red 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Yes, it's a big joke. Women are conditioned to believe that they must get married and men feel like if they get married they will be doing the right thing (what everyone else wants and expects).
I have seen some marriages that really work, but I agree they are more about partnering depending on each other than love. If both people are 100% committed to the other person (and by committed, I mean looking out for the other person's best interests and really listening to what they say) then it will work.
Divorce is painful and brings out the worst in people. I really doubt I will ever get married again. The joke was on me. Don't let it be on you too.
2007-01-01 19:00:40 · answer #4 · answered by ManOfTheHour 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
No I agree. I have been married for five years. And I agree a lot of people have forgotten the meaning of love, morals of a family and marriages. There are many men and women out there: that just do not care about the most important things in a marriage, and so little men and women that do!
2007-01-01 18:21:35 · answer #5 · answered by neenarosdee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Then what are you worried about....get married and it will all be as perfect as the person you believe yourself to be. Women do not only care about sex..wrong!
Marriage involves 2 people and hence what makes it work or not work is the dynamic and communication between both people,
Marriage is easy, divorce is tough...maybe should be the other way around?
Marriages do last if you respect and trust each other and understand that the passion will wear off and that you have to stay faithful as best friends.
2007-01-01 17:39:07 · answer #6 · answered by meldorhan 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think we all really want it to last and work, and be right and special...we all want that.
you said: If the sex isn't good, well then, how can the marriage POSSIBLY last? It seems like there is nothing in it anymore
Really..sex is like 90% mental (dont know exactly the percentage, but its the main thing) And if its not "working", then the partners whould say what they like, and how they like it. (makes pre-marital sex worth it in a way) I do agree sex has a huge impact on the marriage. In a way, if you get lazy in bed, you are likely to be lazy in other areas of the relationship. It always takes two to work...in and out of the bed
2007-01-01 17:48:31 · answer #7 · answered by dianek 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ooh, I even have! You ever hear the single regarding the speaking serpent who confident a woman to consume an apple from a magic tree? No, wait, it gets extra helpful. the lady and her husband get forged out into the worldwide via a mysterious guy interior the sky and are advised to populate it via themselves, and that's how all 7 billion human beings have been given to be in the worldwide immediately. What a revolt!
2016-10-19 08:33:49 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No marriage is not a big joke. People and their lack of values are the problem. The world has gotten really great at living only for themselves.
2007-01-01 17:34:38 · answer #9 · answered by tooyoung2bagrannybabe 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not alone. I feel the exact way. I married my husband for love, not for sex. I would never cheat on him. I plan to uphold my vows, forever and for always. He is my one and only, and I dedicate myself fully, to him.
2007-01-01 17:31:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋