we have been married for 14 years and have 3 kids but i think he is falling for someone else, I found many things that tell me is not just a friend, pictures, text messages thats say I adore you! and over one hundred phone calls within 2 weeks. I offer him a legal separation but he refused. I called this woman and she says they are just friends,I told her it bothers me but they still wont stop.I know they still talk even though he denies it. finally today I called her dad whom she and her daughter live with, and he told me not to worry he will take care of it. why is he doing this?
2007-01-01 17:25:13 · 14 answers · asked by kittycat 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She's a fantasy but you're who's he commited to. He hs developed a security with you. While he may feel he is in love with her he's developed a long-term relationship with you and his children. If he left you she wouldn't be a fantasy and he would have to make a real commitment. He's not willing to make a commitment to her. He wants to keep her on the side and experience all the fireworks. They are in their honeymoon stage right now. If you want it to be over. Don't wait for him to make the move and break your heart. You're wasting time searching and making all these phone calls. You know the truth and what he is doing is wrong, disrespectful and inappropriate. You have no idea how they are "defining" friends or he is being "safe" with her. It's obviously time to leave. You leave with our dignity. You don't get left after he decides he's done with you and ready for her.
2007-01-01 17:31:36 · answer #1 · answered by Bonita Applebaum 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think it's because he's getting away with it. You know, having his cake and eating it too. He has you attending to the home and children and whatever else he needs and he has her for further recreation. Things will not change until you take a stand for your own life. you cannot let him decide what's best for you. Give him and ultimatum. Tell him this "friendship" has to end and he has to cut all ties or you will file for a legal separation. I just had to leave my husband because of his verbal abuse after 13 years and I'm living with my mom with 2 small children. I felt like I had to decide what was best for me and my children and if we're meant to be together, we will be. I will be filing for a legal separation within a month or so. I am happier although a little sad at times but I know that I did the right thing. My prayers are with you and your family. God bless you.
2007-01-02 01:36:20 · answer #2 · answered by Veronique 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he might have feelings for her, but maybe nothing has actually happened yet. He may find it hard to just break off something that is still innocent and be mean to her......but that doesn't mean he's willing to throw away his marriage and kids to be with someone else. Don't jump to conclusions out of jealousy, and give him a chance to do the right thing. A hundred phone calls in 2 weeks is something I would be jealous about too, so I don't blame you. He should break off the friendship with her if he wants to stay with you, simply because it's just too intense.
2007-01-02 01:34:02 · answer #3 · answered by dragonlady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would your louse of a husband voluntarily give up a comfortable home life, if you allow him to have that, plus his little piece of fluff on the side? Think about it, with the current situation the way it is, he's got the best of both worlds. The question you need to ask yourself is not "why won't he leave", it's "how much longer do I want to be a doormat".
2007-01-02 01:29:14 · answer #4 · answered by Liz 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Just because they say they adore each other does not mean he is cheating but it is wrong for him to be talking this way with other then you. He does not want to serperate because you are the wife and she may just be the piece of ***...or its a powertrip. Good luck
2007-01-02 01:40:24 · answer #5 · answered by Danielle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it is just innocent, but that is for now. Men don't typically stay on the phone for that long. As for him not wanting the legal seperation, maybe he's just too comfortable with you and is afraid of losing what comfort he has at "home" with his children?
2007-01-02 01:29:32 · answer #6 · answered by confused123 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because he can...If you have been married that long and 3 kids he needs to straighten up and fly right...Put him out..NO woman has to put up with someone spending that much time with someone else,,,there has to be more going on...He is just a dog and wants his cake and eat it too..break his plate..
2007-01-02 01:33:22 · answer #7 · answered by Brenda Soooooooooooooooooooooooo 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is just being a big brother type friend to this lady sit down and talk to him
2007-01-02 01:29:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because some people want the cake and they want to eat it to or they are just playing games.
I would kick his butt out.
2007-01-02 03:27:21 · answer #9 · answered by LC 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why are you letting him stay, kick the bum out and get a divorce
2007-01-02 02:05:04 · answer #10 · answered by zether 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋