When we get hard ons.
2007-01-01 17:25:26
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answer #1
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answered by Do You See What Happens Larry? 5
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> Categories > Dating
How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust
While there's no clear, fool-proof way to decipher your feelings for someone, there are certain ways to make the distinction between love, lust and infatuation clearer for yourself.
Steps
1.
Could it be love?
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Could it be love?
Write down everything that you associate with the person you're feeling strongly about. Example words on your brainstorm list could include love, butterflies, sex, holding hands, annoying snoring, gorgeous, etc.
2. Circle each attribute with a different color such as red for lust, yellow for infatuation, and green for love.
3. See which of the three feelings dominates the page. If one doesn't stand out (like if the distribution seems pretty equal), move on to the following steps for more insight.
4.
Or is it lust?
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Or is it lust?
Read literature on the topic. Questions about love are timeless questions that have consumed mankind throughout the ages and are a major theme in many scriptures, tales from mythology, and literature. Read the story of David and Bathsheba from the Old Testament, 1st Corinthians from the New Testament, the story of Ali and Fatima, Narcissus and Echo, or Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet.
5. Ask your friends or, if you find it easier, ask a complete and utter stranger, so that you get an honest opinion and an outsider's point of view. Tell that person how you feel, and ask them if it sounds primarily like love, infatuation, or lust.
6. Watch a movie that relates to your situation like "Cruel Intentions" (which is about lust, and wanting what you can't have), "Down to You" (which is about love and leaving it all down to the other person), "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days" (which is about none of them really but it's about making a mistake and putting it right), "The Phantom of the Opera" (which is about both lust and infatuation) and definitely, "Titanic" (which is about holding on to someone forever until you die - that is love - bittersweet love), also, perhaps, "The Fly" (which is about a woman who falls in love with a man who turns into a fly and then goes insane, and yet remains deeply emotionally attached through this agonizing life change - which is love). Yet understand, that movies are fiction that depict idealized rather than realistic love.
Tips
* Keep in mind that in most relationships, you're feeling all three (love, infatuation, and lust) all at once, to some degree.
* To help you make tough decisions about your relationship, ask someone you trust who has lots of experience with the kind of relationship you want for yourself. For example: Say you want to be happily married to one person for life. If your parents have both been bitterly divorced three times, then they are probably not the ones to talk to. On the other hand, if they are about to celebrate their 50th anniversary of bliss together, then they may be ideal to learn from.
* Lasting relationships are those that are built on love - not infatuation or lust. Imagine the person you love in 50 years when they are old and fat. Would that change how you feel about them? If yes, then what you feel now is most likely lust/infatuation - not love.
* Friendship should also weigh into your decision to commit. In 50 years, if you don't genuinely LIKE your mate, you're going to be miserable.
* Remember that jealousy is not a result of love. It is more likely to be a result of infatuation, insecurity or fear of being alone. Are you in love with being in relationships?
* A major life-changing decision like moving in together, getting engaged or getting married should be a natural step if you love someone. It should not inspire fear.
* Take advantage of the post coital "moment of clarity" to examine your feelings.
* Give it time. Love takes root slowly and grows with time. Infatuation grows into full bloom almost immediately.
Warnings
* If you're not sure about your feelings or your relationship, take things slowly. Spend time apart and see how you are feeling while you are away. Do you miss the person? Or are you more attracted to others when you are apart?
2007-01-02 01:37:36
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answer #2
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answered by Anonymous
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Why alone men any human will know that she /he is in love due to their mind. Love can only be felt by oneself and cannot be seen.
2007-01-02 01:25:30
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answer #3
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answered by ssmindia 6
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When you want and desire only that woman. (When her opinions and feelings mean something to you) Love is something that comes from within the heart. Love is a FEELING not WORDS. You will know when it happens!
2007-01-02 02:27:52
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answer #4
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answered by neenarosdee 2
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Yeah, here I am, a chick fulfilling the stereotype (telling a guy when he is in love) - but at least I'm just talking in general.
Well, hang me, shoot me - but here goes:
You are attracted to her
You find her interesting to talk to
You like spending time with her
She likes you how you are
You get along much more than you dont
You dont like the thought of her not in your life
You are a full grown adult and so is she
.
2007-01-02 01:28:00
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answer #5
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answered by cyclgrrl 3
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a man knows that he is in love when he'll give up things that he never would have thought about giving up before and when he wants to be a better man for that woman
2007-01-02 01:28:42
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answer #6
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answered by Anonymous
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They want to make a real commitment and no other girl past or present compares.
2007-01-02 01:24:52
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answer #7
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answered by Bonita Applebaum 5
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They care deeply for the one they love.
2007-01-02 01:24:47
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answer #8
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answered by NeckLover 2
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If she says yes to sex then he is in love.
2007-01-02 01:24:11
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answer #9
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answered by Just Chillin' 2
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I really don't think many men are capable of really being in real love...
2007-01-02 01:24:55
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answer #10
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answered by Brenda Soooooooooooooooooooooooo 4
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When they let the girl hold the remote.
2007-01-02 01:24:52
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answer #11
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answered by UzeHerName 2
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