I am unmarried and have a daughter. Her father is unemployed, has 3 other children from 2 other women. He owes approx. 60,000 USD in back child support and it is doubtful that he will ever marry me. He is in and out of jail and re-hab, the last time resulting in him being expelled for being caught in bed with a girl for the third time. My problem is believe it or not, with his mother. She has bad mouthed me, stuck up for him and just been mean to me since the day I met her son. Now, I have dumped him and she is threatening me with grandparent visitation rights even though she has never really had a thing to do with me or my daughter. My boyfriend and her are now calling me and saying that either I bring my daughter over for regular visits or they will tell the courts that I am doing drugs and i am not. It's like I am being blackmailed. Any advice from anyone? Thanks
2007-01-01 17:08:03 · 11 answers · asked by Hannah 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
most states dont even have grandparents rights... and there is NO way i would allow any of my children around people like that. terrible influence.
and NOW you know where he gets his shytty attitude from.
that woman is lucky that she doesnt have ME for an inlaw... i'd tell her BRING IT ON. my ex inlaw (him's mommy) tried that, and tried to enflame the situation too. she never bothered to see the kids, then wham! started her stuff. i had a PI video tape her drunken azzzz and that pretty much ended it. she was no match and she knew it.
contact a legal aid office in your area. every state has them and are in most counties. look in the phone book or call the county court clerks office and ask if they have it. if not, call your state bar assoc and ask them for it. they go on a sliding scale, so its free to most.
as for her saying you are doing things you are not, you are supposed to be innocent until proven guilty, but you and i know that is NOT how it works. ask your attorney about this matter.
if you are taken to court, deny her alligations and tell the judge thats slander. she hasnt been in your familys life for years ...so how would she even know that? deny it. also, you could offer a drug test (at her expense)... urine tests are effected by over the counter meds, bagels w/poppy seeds, etc. so offer a blood test. unless you do party, then just disregard what i just wrote.
next, sick supportkids.com on his azzz. also make sure the arrears are reported on his credit report. write the CS regional federal office and ask them what they are doing about it. they may be able to put some heat on. i dont care what his problems are, and to me, all that matters is that money is to help raise your baby... its child support, not child trust fund.
in anycase, now i'm wide awake after reading your post, so i'll just list some links for you. just click on your state and find the section you are looking for (grandparents, visitation, or what ever).
also, post his face on a deadbeat site online. ;)
2007-01-01 17:51:27 · answer #1 · answered by Yvette B yvetteb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to seek a lawyer immediately. Your husband has no rights in regard to his children. When a child is born to an un-wed mother, she and the husband have never shared a household and he has never cared for the children, she has has sole custody of the child. If you're unsure about this sue for sole custody with the assistance of a lawyer so it is documented officially.
I doubt the grandmother would be granted visitation if the relationship is so strained between you two and the father is in and out of jail as well as an addict who has shown no stability.
This would be an unhealthy environment for the children.
In the meantime you can file for a order of protection for yourself and your child from he and his mother just in case this escalates.
Please don't fall for any blackmail and put your children in a situation where they would have to experience any unnecessary negativity. A lawyer will inform you of your rights and possible action you can take. If you cannot afford a lawyer you can still benefit from the advice and possibly get a referral to someone who has a sliding scale fee based on your income.
You have rights and you have no reason to be afraid. Whatever they claim to the authorities has to be proven first. If you don't use drugs you have no reason to worry.
2007-01-01 17:24:09 · answer #2 · answered by Bonita Applebaum 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know how you are feeling.
I went through something alittle similar.
First off it will be hard for her to get grandparents visitation without going through the court and she will need an attorney since you can use the fathers past as a reason why you fear for your daughters safety.
I would file a PPO against him and her for harassment. That would be the first thing and if they do take you to court and say you are on drugs and you come out clean they will the ones wasting their money. You can ask for supervised visitation for him if he fights for visitation.
Sounds like they like terrorizing you.
The next time they call (change your number) tell them to take you to court.
Does he pay child support? You should take him to court for that even if you don't want him to see your daughter. You can use his criminal record in court.
If you don't want child support then tell them to stop calling you or you will take him for every penny you can. Maybe then they will shut up.
2007-01-01 19:34:35 · answer #3 · answered by LC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let the threats scare you. I went through this too, and the courts hear this dozens of times a week with a parent badmouthing the other one. They can tell from your record and his really bad one who is lying. Get a lawyer, and I doubt the woman will file for grandparent visitation, because if she was going to,she already would have. A lot of so called grandparents threaten this, but don't follow through.
2007-01-01 18:19:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sigh. Adopted/ not adopted has no relevance. You reallly need to read the basics of Troxel vs Granville, which went to the US Supreme court... which ruled that FIT PARENTS have the constitutional right to raise their children, and make appropriate decisions for them. If a parent is ruled as being unfit, that might be different. Yes, many states passed laws, going along with grandparent lobbyists, who figure they have some kind of rights to another person's child. After the Supreme court ruling, many of those legislators have a bit of egg on their faces. If state law conflicts with federal law, federal laws should prevail. In case you are wondering.. I am a grandparent, who dearly loves my grandchildren. Their parents are the ones who should be legally able to make choices. If this is a dispute and you are being threatened, pull up some reseach on this case, and politely share it with them.
2016-05-23 05:11:42 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually people who make threats that are based on a lie, ie. accusing you of doing drugs when you do not do drugs are unable to see their threat through. So you should call their bluff and say go ahead, I am not bringing my child into a home that produces criminals. If grandma wants to see the kid, offer her supervised visitation at your house. You probably dom not need the expense of a lawyer until they do take court action against you. At that time you will need a lawyer. But if you are truly not involved in drugs, then you have nothing to fear. The threat usually goes away if you call their bluff and tell them to go ahead. The Courts will test for drugs, so the proof will be right there that you are clean!!!! Nothing to be afraid of....
2007-01-01 17:34:13 · answer #6 · answered by meldorhan 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the father has a record that would not win him anything! Don't know what state you are in but grandparent rights are basically nothing unless there is abuse or neglect then the grandparent can fight to get the child. I know I consulted an attorney in Idaho and they said there are NO grandparent rights here! As long as you are clean only do what is best for your kid and keep her away!
2007-01-01 17:15:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First thing to do is get a lawyer and let him/her know what this "mother" has done with her son to have him turn out to be a total looser and that you don't want her influence on your daughter. Second, Get as far away from him and his mother as you can get...even if it means moving, your daughter is most important right now. If you were smart, don't ask or think you will get any support from him, he sounds like he don't know what responsibility is and is a dead-beat father. Good luck.
2007-01-01 17:20:40 · answer #8 · answered by redy2screm 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
GET A LAWYER and get one now! Those people have no right to harass you like that. It's insane! You should also keep detailed records of anything your little girl's dad or his family give her like money or clothes. Get an answering machine and let it run while you are talking to them so you have evidence of what they are doing. But, talk to the lawyer. He can give you more advice on what you need or don't need to do. Just hang in there. Don't let them get you down.
2007-01-01 18:12:21 · answer #9 · answered by The Nana of Nana's 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
get a lawyer and stop this insanity......be thankful that you are not married to this loser.....stay away from him....he can tell the courts anything he wants but if you are a good mom, there is nothing that he can do.....get as far away from him and his mom as you can and get full custody of your dtr...he is a total loser...good luck
2007-01-01 17:12:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋