what is the extreme differences between them?
2007-01-01 16:19:21 · 9 answers · asked by Steffanie P 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
people are telling me wanting to get married with my boyfriend for 4 years will be wayyyyyy different then ACTUALLY being married with him. why will it be a difference? we are practically married just not living together! can marriage really make or break our relationship?
2007-01-01 16:26:36 · update #1
I would think the husband and wife choice would be more fulfilling than the choice of husband and wife, but that's just me.
2007-01-01 16:21:42 · answer #1 · answered by Holden 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wanting to be is the fantasy part (romance all the time,never fighting,etc) ...Being is the reality (with the bills, the annoying habits that you never noticed before, the 10 or more "comfort" pounds that you both gain after the wedding etc) But overall the being married is better in my opinion. Wouldn't trade my husband for anything! ;-)
By the way My husband and I dated for 5 and a half years before we got married and never lived together either. It's hard adjusting to sharing everything after that long but it's not impossible...though sometimes it's all I can do not to scream when he leaves dishes on the counter instead of at least in the sink! (But thank goodness that's about the worst thing we fight about)
2007-01-01 16:29:04 · answer #2 · answered by . 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but I don't think I understand your question. Check for typing errors and see if that gets you some responses.
I'm assuming you want to know if "want to be husband and wife" is different from "being husband and wife". If so, "wanting" doesn't get you that legal license, whereas "being" means you have legally been joined together. A woman can then take the man's last name if she so chooses.
2007-01-01 16:23:11 · answer #3 · answered by mycountryfamily 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most of what you are going throught is like marriage. I said LIKE marriage. But it differs in two most important facets.
One: Have you ever done an activity which you volunteer for and know very well that you can walk away from it whenever you want? Then if someone requires you to do this and you find that you just can't walk away the moment you want. You would percieve it as difference. This is the feeling you get in the back of your mind when you get married. It is not as easy as falling of a log to get out of it. If you are living together then chances are that it would be logistically and financially relatively easy to walk away from . However marriage, once committed, takes time, energy, committment and a bit of difficulty to get out of. And you are concience of that fact. When there is pressure then this fact will hold you's there when normally you's would go and increase the phycological pressure. Because it is LEGAL then it is in an entirely different ball game.
TWO: When you marry , you COMMITT before the powers that be, society in general and many times God. You have given your life to someone and visa versa. You many times have children. They increase the pressure and the committment. It gets serious then. You have others to take care of and responsibities-legal, moral and to each other. The level of your committment in the legal and many times religous act make you make up your mind to be serious. You have committed to this thing and to bare it out for better or worse. Your'e in it for REAL. Marriage has many good and enjoyable times. But also many times of awesome responsibilty. When you COMMIT you take that responsibility and claim it as your own. You have made up your mind that you will be there for the long haul.
You see the main difference is that living together is the rehearsal. Marriage is the performance itself. You make a mistake in the rehearsal, you can correct it. You make a mistake in the play- it's for all the world to see.
And don't go for the prenuptial agreement either. Have you ever attempted a difficult task. If you have looked about and tried to budget for it's failure and tried to cover your ***, then what you will ineveritly get is failure. You will have set yourself up mentally and morally for failure. Marriage is a difficult task indeed. Don't set youself up for failure. Set youself up for sucsess. And the only two things strong enough on this earth are TRUST and LOVE. For remember, how many things on this earth do they say
"TO DEATH DO US PART". Not many. However if you decide to go into marriage then take with you the two pillars of strenght. TRUST and LOVE. Your'e chances of sucsess with these two are greatly increased. And good luck. Hope this helps.
s
2007-01-01 16:49:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah. people these days have no value in marriage. for you it will probably not be any different than b/f and g/f because it sounds like you already live together and have sex and are pretty much married. but i waited untill i was married to have sex and live with my man. it was one of the best decisions i have ever made. i know i will be with him forever.
2007-01-01 16:34:53 · answer #5 · answered by jmd 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wanting to get married is like a an expectation that all of your dreams will come true.
being married is like realizing that you won't be sleeping for the entirety of the marriage.
2007-01-01 16:22:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the extreme difference is the bill your dad is paying for the wedding and how much it is going to cost you to get divorced....good luck
2007-01-01 16:21:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
One has "wanting to get be" and the other has "being"...Sorry, not sure what you're asking...
2007-01-01 16:21:41 · answer #8 · answered by kakolikapiha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you will see have to perform sexually whenever he requests
2007-01-01 16:33:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋