I'm a gay college student and wanted to get some feedback on a question. What is up with heterophobia? When I started dating my ex-boyfriend, he did want to meet my closest friends simply because they were straight guys. He went off on some weird tangent on how no straight guy could ever be friends with a gay man and that more than likely they are just bad-mouthing me behind my back before he'd ever even met them. Other gay guys that I've known have given weird reactions, like I should be replacing my straight friends with gay friends and interacting more with the gay community. For me, I'm content with the way my life is but does anyone have any thoughts as to why I get the reactions that I do?
2007-01-01 15:55:46 · 3 answers · asked by Paul 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Paul, I have read some of the answers you have given in this forum and they are uniformly intelligent, thoughtful and sensitive. So I suspect you already know the answer to this question you have asked here. I conclude you are seeking confirmation of your own views and/or are open-minded enough to entertain opposing views. I say go with your own gut beliefs and feelings. I think you can trust them.
That said, and for what it's worth, here is what I believe about this issue. Stereotyping is wrong no matter who is doing it and no matter whom the subject of that stereotyping may be. Many straights are guilty of stereotyping. But many gays are as well. Members of both communities who stereotype others do so out of ignorance, close-mindedness, lack of respect for others, and ultimately failure of true respect for diversity.
For you as an individual caring about your own self-worth as well as the worth of others the question becomes how to deal with the inappropriate stereotyping that goes on in both the straight and the gay communities. You know full well that neither community is monolithic. Both communities are made up of a multitude of diverse individuals. So the problem here is not one in your own mind because you understand and respect diversity and you know that both communities are multi-compositional. The problem for you lies in your relationship to gay friends who are not as open-minded as yourself.
So what recourse do you have here? Obviously you can not think or act for your friends. You can attempt to sway their views with reason, example and experience. But if that fails you are left with the decision as to whether you want to remain friends with those who are narrow-minded and biased even though they are gay. I suspect you will have to make this decision often and on an individual basis because some of these individuals may be valuable friends otherwise, too valuable to lose.
That leaves you with this. You are a good friend to members of both communities and I respect you for that. Protect your own integrity even (perhaps especially) among those who persist in stereotyping others. Know your own reasons, heart and soul and keep true to them. But know also that in this diverse world not all will share your views regardless of how well founded they may be. Good luck, Paul.
2007-01-02 04:43:58 · answer #1 · answered by Seeker 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think gay guys have had enough of the verbal physical abuse because of their sexuality and are now have clouded vision when it comes to straight and gays mixing and it is a shame they tar every straight guy with the same brush then then vice versa you only have to read the forum here to see the ignorance that a lot of straight and gays have towards each other
Each sexuality has its ugly side when it comes to the others but in i believe that gays have had way worse many have hid their sexuality for your's due to the straights adversion to them which should have happenend for no matter your sexuality your still human.
Gays are not out to convert straight men they never have been but straight want to convert the gays because they are ignorant and ashamed of others that physically have the male gene but have different preferences
Im not tarring each gay of straight guy with the same brush for many straights dont give a damn and neither do many guys they just want to live and let live
2007-01-02 04:37:39 · answer #2 · answered by shannara 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be yourself-do what makes you happy. Resist heterophobia!
2007-01-02 09:02:48 · answer #3 · answered by tombollocks 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋