Im 16 and Im gay, I want to tell my parents what will be the best way to approach them? and how?

Answer 1

dont if u dont feel like to

Answer 2

I applaud your decision to live your life openly and honestly. I also know firsthand how hard it can be to tell your family that you're gay. So as you take that next big step, here are some things to keep in mind.

Before you share with your family and friends, you may want to test the waters a bit. Steer the conversation toward topics of tolerance and equality for same-sex couples. Find out how your parents feels about these kinds of issues.

It's probably taken you a while to come to terms with your sexuality, so just remember that it may take others some time to accept that also. Be prepared to be patient. It's perfectly normal for even the most accepting parents to be a little shocked by such a big revelation. Be prepared for some tough questions -- "How do you know this isn't just a phase?" "What makes you think that you're gay?"

To prepare, it may be helpful to visit website like the the American Psychological Association (http://www.apa.org/topics/orientation.html ) or the Human Rights Campaign (http://www.hrc.org/Template.cfm?Section=Coming_Out ) It may also be helpful to direct your parents to supportive groups like Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG, http://www.pflag.org/ )

If you haven't done so already, you may want to tell a close friend that you're gay -- someone who you know will support you. As your parents come to terms with your sexuality, it will be helpful to have a friendly ally.

Your mom and dad love you unconditionally. So even if it may take some time and some awkward conversations, chances are excellent that your they'll accept you for who you are.

Answer 3

That's a tough one. I'm going thru the same thing with my step-daughter who's 15. Her father & I accept it and we wish her well. We don't focus on her sexual orientation. We just advised her that until she's 18 she's not allowed to have any kind of sexual activity with anyone male or female, period. Her mother on the other hand is having a more difficult time with it. Her mother is praying for God to change her & she's constantly telling her that she may change in the future. I don't know what the magic answer is. But I would say to be up front and honest with your parents. Don't expect a warm reception, it may or may not be a difficult pill for them to swallow at one time. I don't know what your parents' beliefs are and my guess is you have an idea that your parents will have some difficulty with this. I've told my step-daughter it's not a decision I would've chosen for her life, because I know the stigma she'll have to endure even from members of her own family. But, ultimately the choice is hers. I will support her when she's an adult and in a consenting adult relationship. I also advised her that we live in the Bible Belt and most Christians will not accept her, she's already been banned from singing in church because of this. But she's aware of the circumstances. I think you will get through it well as long as you're honest with yourself and your parents. Remember you have to live with your choices so choose well and don't sell yourself short and don't mold yourself into someone you're not for society's sake. Be who you are and you will be happy. Happy New Year.


VAMP what a stupid answer, go check yourself.

Answer 4

If you aren't sure how they would react, you could try telling someone you know will be ok with it, then have them stand by your side while you tell your parents. You know how some parents are! Over bearing at times, I've been there with my mom, not about being gay because I'm straight, but like other things like when I started having sex. Anyway, you could also write them a letter while you're at school, or at a friends for the night, give them time to read it. Have them call you and talk to you over the phone about it. It's just good to be honest you know. Good Luck!




Krazy Libra

Answer 5

No one way is perfect for everyone, and it depends on your family, their beliefs, and the relationship you have with them. I would strongly suggest you make contact with PFLAG and speak to some folks first for specific suggestions. (www.pflag.org )

Most parents are loving people whose only concern is for your well being. They may be shocked and they may have know for a long time and don't know how to approch you. They may think this means no grandchildren and react to that. Some may have religious beliefs that cause them concern.

I would suggest that you practice some of what you want to say in advance and that you right it all out. Give your feelings, your hopes, your fears. Be honest and try to remain calm, whatever the reaction. Understand that if this takes them totally by surprise their first reactions may be more emotional than rational, and more temporary than permanent. You may find it easier to say everything in a letter and give it to your parents at the same time (make copies).

And, sad as I am to have to even mention this, you should consider having a safe haven to go to if their reaction is terribly negative. Have a sympathetic friend who can let you stay there if the worst scenario occurs. It's not likely, but having a safety net will make you stronger and more able to be honest.

It happened that both of my children turned out to be straight, but many of their friends came to me with this very issue to work out how to approach their families, and we always let them know they could stay with us if worst came to worst. This never happened. I also made myself available to talk with their parents, especially about the religious questions, being a seminary graduate myself.

When I speak to parents, I tell them the best thing to say when your child says "Mom, Dad, I'm gay" is "I love you."

Good luck to you in taking this very adult step with courage and thoughtfulness. And that offer is open to you as well. You might be far away so that shelter isn't doable, but if you need to talk, or your parents do, with care and not judgment, feel free to e-mail me.

Answer 6

Alot depends upon if your parents are open to homosexuality. Either way the best thing to do is to let them both know you want to talk to them together and talk. They are your parents, don't be afraid. No matter what you'll always be their child. Just be the best person you can be and leave the rest to G-d.

Answer 7

Well I think you should sit down and talk with them open and honestly. If you feel more comfortable have a family member or a close friend there for support.
Depending on their first reaction, it may catch them off by surprise. They may or may not accept it right away. It is better to be honest about it. But remember they are your parents, and if they don't accept it right away they will come around.

Answer 8

Make sure they are open to new ideas or else they may not be accepting of you. If they are open minded people then ask them are you going to love me no matter what. Then just tell them. If you don't think they will accept you then wait until you are out of the house and supporting yourself.

Answer 9

Nobody can speak for YOU....You have to know when it is the right time to even talk about it...you'll know when, usually it is best to wait til they ask you, that is better for you...I have a gay cousin, who got shunned for about 8 years, but now has matured, and now family speaks to him, but never of the topic of his sexuality. It is going to depend on your family's background at a social level that will also determine when to tell or when to answer. But, My cousin had always regretted "blurting" it out when it is best to leave it alone til they ask...You're still pretty young to make a true adult question here when you still have to experience life as an ADULT first. Maturity is the keyword to think about here, because you're still a "child" of theirs that getting closer to adulthood, and to give them news of this at your age now, would be like a bullet to most parents' hearts...Nobody likes Drama like that.

Answer 10

okay...i have to say that im mad that people are telling you not to tall your parents. i mean you dont have to if you dont want to but i think you should. personally..i think im bi but i dontk now what to do.

1) do this only if your ready
2) be prepared that things are going to be sad that people can later regret. try not to make that one of you.
3) be ready that they wont accept you right away.
4) make sure that if it doesnt go over as good as you hoped thatyou have some where else to go.
5) good luck.

convo wise...i will try to help you out.

you - mom dad i need to talk to the both of you and i need you guys to take this seriously because im scared about saying this and im ready to do this.

parents - okay.

you - i know this is going to be hard for you but this is hard for me to tell you. im gay. i dont want you to think any less of me or treat me any different but i want you to respect my sexuality.

from there....its up to them.

you have so much courage. more courage than i could ever have. i want this to go great for you. love is love. and it doesnt matter what others say.

email me - [e-mail]
ive gone through this with friends and its not easy.

GOOD LUCK!!!

Answer 11

Why do you have to tell them right this second?

Are you and a gay friend running off and getting married tomorrow?

You are too young to be worried about your sexual orientation, and it's repercussions. Just be a teenager, go to school, enjoy your friends and your family. As you mature you will have plenty of oppurtunities to look at the lifestyle you want to adopt in your adult life.

When you are independant, have a college education under your belt, etc. then look at the life you want and the type of partner you want forever.