My husband left this morning and has been gone for 12 hours. He doesn't answer his cell. When should I worry

Question

He woke up in a bad mood, has been very moody for a long time. He is having some psychological problems and I cannot seem to help him. I think he is depressed, but we have no health insurance as I have just started a new job and my benefits don't kick in for another two months. He hasn't worked in years, and he's depressed that his creditors recently took him to court and won a judgement against him. It's all I can do to pay for everything else, and I have not been able to extend my earnings to pay his old debts. I don't like him a lot of the time, but I love him and try to help in any way I can. If he comes home, should I ask him to leave--even though he has no money and nowhere to go? If he doesn't come home, at what point should I call the police?

Answer 1

Wait 48 hours before file police report...He may just need some alone time...

Answer 2

I'm sorry to hear you are experiencing this right now, especially on New Year's Day. Before getting alarmed, just think. Did he ever do this before? ...I mean, leave without calling you? Maybe he just took off and needs some time alone. I think he is wrong for not letting you know or answering his phone but maybe he is just not coping well and is being a bit stubborn. I would wait until the morning. If he doesn't show up, then phone the police. I would also recommend calling his friends, family, etc to see if they heard from him or if he is there. Good luck and I hope things get better.

PS There are many places that accept a sliding fee so you should really look into him going for some counseling in the meantime until your insurance kicks in. Also, you can see a PCP, regular physican and they can precribe antidepressants also. You might have to pay $50.00 fof an office visit but it would be worth every penny. He cannot wait another 2 months without getting professional help.

Answer 3

I think if he goes missing for 24 hours and you have made all attempts to contact his family and any known friends, then you should call the police and report him missing. If you love him then you will want the best for him and kicking him out may not be the way to "kick sense into him" necessarily. If he's depressed be sure and watch for suicidal ideas. Always take this seriously. As far as your finances, do all you can to cut off all credit and sell anything you can to help pay down debt. It will help you both and take some burden off of you. Sometimes we spend on things that make us feel better for the moment, esp. when under stress, but this kind of spending also doubles our stress the next day. Look online at Dave Ramsey and his online site will get you started. Commit together with your husband to love each other, care for each other and work together on money issues. God Bless.

Answer 4

My heart goes out to you. Sounds like a very stressful time in your life and for him also. I would suggest calling his best friends and relatives and asking them if they have heard from him. I dont know what to tell you as far as how long to wait before you call the police. Pray and ask the Lord to have him contact you asap. Sounds like the relationship is strained also. Most people dont know how to fix things on thier own so I would strongly recommend getting a 3rd party involved like a pastor that does marrital counseling, and get in a support group where other couples are having similar problems. These groups are amazingly helpful. Many churches offer free counseling and/or support groups. Dont give up on the marriage. It may look impossible, but only because you dont know what to do or what your options are. Even if he wont go to counseling/ support group with you, it would be a good thing for you to go with a friend or even by your self. Ask the Lord for wisdom and strength and ask him to heal your marriage. I dont know any details so I cant give any more detailed advise than this. I can promise you this, these problems wont go away on their own. You will have to take some action. You sound like a very responsible person and is doing everything you know to do. Just dont try to do it all by your self, without some support from friends. Hope this helps.:)

Answer 5

Your husband needs professional assistance, for his emotional and physical well-being. There are too many issues for you to help him AND perform well in your job so you have a roof over your head.

There is free help for people who have no health insurance. On Tuesday, call your local county health department and tell them you need to get free psychological help for your husband. Then you can offer to go with him for help. Remember, he must be willing to accept help to get help, in the first place. If he thinks there's nothing wrong, there isn't much you can do to help him - he must want change.

It's not realistic that you would be able to pay all your husband's old debts. I think the main concern right now is your husband's mental health -- the finances can wait. No one is going to jail because your husband's credit isn't looking good.

Offer to support him emotionally - and remind him that you care about him, whether he is working or not. Is part of the reason you don't like him that he isn't working and pulling his own weight? If your husband is willing to obtain professional help, he will soon feel like getting a job and then, together, you can come up with a plan to make repayment to the creditors.

I do not think you are able to file a missing person's report for 24 hours after his disappearance. Call anyone you can think of, who may have seen or heard from him.

Chin up, and good luck!

Answer 6

This is a tough one. In all these years, has he ever tried to get help? What has he done, since he hasn't been working? What you have to figure out is, will he try to help himself and change things around if given the chance? Because you can't force help upon him. He has to be willing to put the effort into creating a change both in his state of mind and the way he conducts his life.

If he comes home, and you think he does want to fix himself once the health benefits kick in, you can try having him stick around until then and see if psychological/medical help changes things. If you think he's not willing to put the effort into changing, kick him out. He's an adult and you are not required to put more effort into his life than he is.

And if he doesn't come home, I believe it is 24 hours before you can call the police and report him missing. Good luck.

Answer 7

If your husband has done this before and doesn't answer his cell, I wouldn't worry for at least 24 hours, then I would call the police. If this is unusual behavior for him when he leaves, but will always answer his phone, call the police right away and tell them of the depression and all. Holidays are really bad for people with depression. It sounds like you are worried, so use your own instinct about calling the police. I will be praying for both of you.

Answer 8

Call the police Now!!!
I think something seriously bordering him. It seems like he has done something wrong or he couldn’t tell you or express to you. Is he addicting to something that he has been hiding from you? Why he couldn’t work or have a job for awhile? No, don’t kick him out before you could seeking for some help. At lease you need to ask him some questions, but not yell or put him down to any answers he would giving to you. Be prepare to work thing out and listen to him.

Answer 9

no DONT put him out with no money and no place to go! Thats just cruel.Right now wouldnt be a great time to talk about how your relationship isnt going that great because he has so many other problems on his shoulders.You'll know when its right to talk to him about the relationship.Tell him he can live there for a month till he finds a job and a place to go.If he wants to work it out, take him to counseling! I know it can be expensive though.Call the cops as soon as possible even though to file for missing persons you have to wait 24 hours, but u can just say he has been missing 24 hours! He isnt doing so good mentally and has alot of 'problems' so you dont know what can be going on his head.You dont want him to hurt himself. Good Luck Sweety, My email is [e-mail] if you need any advice or support.

Answer 10

You should call the police NOW! At best, they can't do anything in the first 48 hours....to which if your husband comes home, then nothing gets pressed. However if after 48 hours he isn't home, a missing persons report gets filed.

Answer 11

He is a big boy a man now. Wait 48 hours then call the police