Is she ok??

Question

Is my g/f gonna be ok/?? Will she get over this??(see add'l details)

She was raped by two close friends 6 months ago. We recently had sex(her idea) and since she has been really worked up. At night she will wake up crying. I want to help and went through this with her the first time it happened. Will she eventually get close to normal again?? I go with her to her consuling, but wonder what else I can do. I am willing to do anything to help her.
Please give some advice.
She was doing much better but now is back to square one. I would never leave her.
She told me everyting that happened. How else can I help?
When she cries I just hold her and listen. I just want to know how else I can help.
Parents would you tell her to stay away or be ok with me trying to help??

Answer 1

Any sort of sexual past is hard to get over. Having been in a bad sexual relationship myself I know that it is always in the back of my mind. Although it happened 7 years ago I still have days when I get depressed about it. And being that you had sex that could have brought back memories for her that were painful. I've been married for 3 years now and when my husband and I were first together I would cry every time we had sex. Eventually after talking about it I was able to enjoy it and not cry. I think the best thing you can do is listen to her and not pressure her into anything. After time she will be able to deal with it better.

Answer 2

You can't magically expect a girl, woman, man or body to magically get over sexual abuse, rape or other.

It takes time. If you really love her, you'd both agree to no sex for one year. WHY? Because as long as she feels she needs to be having sex, as long as she puts sex in the mess of what's going on, she'll never fully deal with or heal from being raped.

Learning to honor herself starts by not giving out sex. Otherwise her mind will always run back to the rape images until they are resolved and you resolve them in various ways.

If you cannot support her without sex, then you should be honest and tell her you are just not mature enough to stay with her. and use those words.

The best person for a rape victim to work wtih isn't just some therapist, it's a trauma specialist dealing with rapes. Just because a person is a therapist, doesn't mean they have the skills needed to help a rape victim. Suggest she talks to her local rape line and ask about support groups she can go to. Those groups help more then almost anything else, they are usually directed by soemone who was raped in the past and they have them for teens, so other teens who have been raped will be there and not adults.

Date rape and it sound like that is what may have happened to her is so hard to over come, becuase the trust issues and the pain and fear of trusting again is deeper then stranger rape, because you thought you could trust someone and look what they did.

Tell her my heart and prayers are with her and it does get better if you work through it with the right people, such as support groups and a therapist trained specifically in dealing with rapes who has had a lot of experience. A girl who has been raped will most be helped by a male therapist and a man will be be helped most often by a female. WHY? Because it helps you find someone safe of the same sex you were raped by to begin to learn to trust again.

I highly recommend she get into a rape support group for teens if she's a teen and for adults of she's an adult. Doing thereapy can help and is a good idea, but the support groups offer personal understanding, people who have been where she's been and know what it takes to heal.

Answer 3

I would say that it is ok for you to be there for her. She really needs someone that she can depend on. Please n\be patient with her because she is going to have good days and bad ones. It seems to me that you really care and although it will take a lot of time she will eventually be able to handle it a lot better. My cousin was raped in school by a trespasser over 10 years ago and she still worries at times but she is doing the best she can. She has a loving husband who knows everything that happened and loves and supports her regardless. You sound like a great guy and she is lucky to have you.

Answer 4

well it sounds liek you are doing the right thing. just put up wiht the crying that was a very traumatic thing that happned to her and it is bery good that you are still by her side. just keep comforting and listening to her. she will need alot more therapy and counseling to resolver her issues. 6 months mostly feels liek it was yesterday for her. just comfort her and stand by her side. and have her keep going to therapy and or counseling.
(sorry im not an adult but i am 19, cant speak from experience though =()
good luck. i hope she gert better and your relationship grows stronger!

Answer 5

You are doing the right thing. I don't know if she will heal soon, though. It might help to report her rapists. It might be bothering her to keep that bottled up inside. She told you, but sometimes one person isn't enough. You should keep doing what you are, and hope for the best. I am not a parent, but if I was, I would be happy with your helping.

Answer 6

Yes she'll be ok it'll just take time for her to get back to the way she was. My best suggestion is be there for her, and tell her to press charges against those boys who raped her if she hasn't already.

Answer 7

it will be hard for her to get over it and in the end she probably wont get over it completely but you are doing the best you can just be there for her and things will eventually work out

Answer 8

IN THE NAME OF JESUS, HE IS WITH HER AS YOU ARE , BUT IT IS GOING TO TAKE GOD AND TIME FOR HER HEALING WITH IN, I THANK GOD THAT SHE HAVE A GOOD FRIEND LIKE YOU ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS KEEP ON BEING THERE FOR HER AND GIVE HER THAT EMOTIONAL SECURITY/ MORAL SUPPORT THAT SHE NEEDS. IN DUE TIME THINGS WILL GET BACK KIND OF NORMAL BUT TO HER THINGS THINGS WILL NEVER BE THE SAME, AND SEE IF THEY HAVE ANY SUPPORT GROUPS WITH PEOPLE WHO CAN RELATE TO WHAT HAVE HAPPEN TO HER. AND YOU ALL WILL BE IN MY PRAYERS MAY GOD BLESS YOU ALL!!!!!

Answer 9

She will never get over it
Its hard to get over being raped but she will be OK I suggest to see counselor to help her deal with it



*Vam*

Answer 10

You sound like a great man.

Comfront her in a time of need, and take her out somewhere peaceful.