Well, I am having an issue with my ex boyfriend. After about 9 months after the breakup, we continued to talk and hang out. We had our ups and downs in those months even though we were not together. Well, recently after alot of things have happened before Christmas and now, I have thought more and more about letting him go completely even though I love him with all my heart. I am getting to the point that it's the best thing for us since 1) he doesn't know what he wants in life and 2) I really have seen that he stopped loving me and really doesn't care anymore. I think that it's better for him to go his way and for me to move on since he was the one that initially broke up with me. Even though I know what is the right thing, I can't seem to act on it. I want to talk to him about this but I really haven't been able to tell him and I don't want to tell him on the phone. I am really scared since it's been his fault all of this time as to why we have been falling apart. Any advice?
2007-01-01 13:28:48 · 17 answers · asked by Lessons_in_life10 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Being an adult means you DO the things you HAVE to even when you don't want to.You've made your stand here,make it with him.You'll BOTH be alot happier in the long run.
2007-01-01 13:32:21 · answer #1 · answered by hippiegirl672003 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is very difficult to do the right thing - believe me, I know! The "right thing" is always painful...but you must remember if you do the "wrong thing" and stay with him then that will only satisfy you for a short period of time...but if you break up with him now it will feel much better as time goes by, even if it's painful now. If you stay with him and decide to officially break things off later then by that time you could have already been over him! If you see that the two of you must move on then do it for yourself and do it for him...I am sure it's painful for him also since he can't fully let you go. It's not fair that he gets to bring you so much pain when the two of you aren't even really together....why go through that if there isn't any future? I advise you to tell him once and for all that its over, and you need to stay strong after this, stop picking up his phone calls, completely cut him out of your life...he's the one who initiated this in the first place! Why is he stringing you along if he broke up with you...he is being very selfish! Think of the future, not the present, the present is painful but it will only get better from here! Good luck!
2007-01-01 13:38:54 · answer #2 · answered by Yul'ka 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion you shouldn't even be worried about this. You both have already officially "split up", so you have no ties and owe him nothing. What's making it difficult is the fact that ya'll have continued to hang out. Forget that. He broke up with you. Just drop him and don't even bother to let him know. If he doesn't care like you say he doesn't, then it obviously wouldn't even bother him and you just wouldn't hear from him again anyway (now that would really hurt), but.... that's a good idea. Just try dropping him for a week or two. If he doesn't even call you or anything you'll know for SURE he doesn't care anymore. Then just do your best to get over it and let it go. Don't fret over apologizing to him and handling the situation with "care". You owe him nothing. He broke up with you.
2007-01-01 13:35:00 · answer #3 · answered by gabound75 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u r being insecure with yourself and your decisions.Don't just think about letting him go completely!! Start writing a journal and begin improving your life for YOU! no one else will or even can do that. Put the positive on you write down big dreams cruise ships or travel or shorter term goals like horseback riding remodeling a room or house finding time to read stow away like a hermit until you come out making all new friends. Focus on forgetting.
2007-01-01 13:57:14 · answer #4 · answered by Dotr 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are right ,You know what you should do yourself.
It can be hard being strong and standing your ground, but you don't want to be chasing someone who doesn't feel the same way as you do.
Try to give yourself a break you don't need to be feeling this way over a guy.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stop all contact with him, you will cry at first but , you also will slowly start to feel better over time.
Then one day some guy will fall head over heals for you,And treat you like a princess. It does happen.Good luck, and forget the looser.!!!!
2007-01-01 13:39:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is going to be hard for you. I have been exactly where you are at. It is going to be hard for you to take other peoples advise and tell with your feelings at the same time. Something that helped me. {Even though I had a great support system} was a book that is called "he's not that into you"
Get it, read it, and Love yourself First! Good Luck to you!
2007-01-01 13:32:43 · answer #6 · answered by brit 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's more like you need to hang onto him "with all your heart".
Sometimes it seems easier to keep what we know than face the uncertainty that will come from letting go.
find outside interests, to distract you from him , if as you say; he's stopped
caring he may not even notice, say hello if you must, but find other things to do then stress over this.
I have a hundred years of experience..
2007-01-01 13:36:10 · answer #7 · answered by mystk1111 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is your EX-boyfriend. You need to cut all ties with him as soon as you can, on the phone or whatever. You needn't concern yourself overmuch with his feelings, since he clearly does not do so with yours. Just bite the bullet and make the break. Unless you do this, you will never recover your sense of self and will continue to obsess about him for years to come. Good luck.
2007-01-01 13:34:33 · answer #8 · answered by Bethany 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you could always write him a letter and explain just what you did to us--------send him an e-mail with the same info--or just gradually pull yourself away from having any contact with him. if he calls, say u have someone on the other line, if he suggests you get together, tell him you have plans, if he comes over--do not open the door. change your number and get a new e-mail account. he will get the picture, unless he's a complete idiot.
2007-01-01 13:35:31 · answer #9 · answered by angel1 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just be completely honest with him. You need to be able to heal and your won't be able to if you are always with him. Besides you will want to eventually want to move on and you can not really do that with your ex by your side. Good Luck
2007-01-01 13:32:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋