My boyfriend gave me a beautiful diamond engagement ring for Christmas and I don't know if he really wants to marry me or if it just means I'm sorry I got you pregnant?? I'm about 3 months pregnant and I really do love him and I said yes but I don't know!!! My parents say they will sign the form for me to marry him since I'm 16 and he is 20 and also they think he is a great guy for me!! The thing of it is I can't ask him b/c he got deployed 2 months ago but came back on Christmas Day to give me the ring and ask me to marry him!! He got shipped back yesterday and ever since then I can't seem to stop think about how young I am and if this is going to ruin my life!! Can someone please tell me if he gave me the ring because I'm pregnant or if he really loves me?? Or for that matter is it wrong to get married this early in life??
2007-01-01 13:26:34 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I was 16 when I had my daughter, she is now 13. She has been a great joy in my life. I dropped out of school, but I went back later. I am now a nurse, and I make great money. She has an 8 year old brother, Life hasn't been easy. But we've had a good life.
I divorced her dad in 2000. But he and I now have a great relationship and may get back together. I have loved her dad since i was 8. And I will always love him. We were both young and if we had listened to each other, I think we could have made it. So he asked, marry him, give it all you have, put your heart into it. You may end up hurt, or you may love forever, you will love forever, because this child you carry, will always have your heart, and you'll always be in love with him/her, which is part of you and part of him. I believe that everything happens for a reason.
I am now 30, and I wouldn't change the fact I had a baby at such an early age, my kids are my life, and I love life.
My father once said "God doesn't give you more than you can handle" and dad's been right all my life.
2007-01-01 14:00:42 · answer #1 · answered by sister2 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's lucky your parents and / or cops aren't pressing statutory rape charges against him.
You're gonna change tons over the next 5 years. And, so is he. I'm not saying that it won't work, but you start a mile behind the rest of the field in the marriage marathon.
One thing you need to know is that it's one thing to have a kid in HS, but still another to be married. Once you're married, most of your classmates will wander off, and it will be quite lonely. After all, the only married people that most of them know are their parents and older relatives.
I'm voting that you wait until age 18. If I was your father (and I have 2 daughters, ages 21 and 23), then I'd shoot the b/f and tell the cops that the Iraqis came to town.
2007-01-01 21:55:20 · answer #2 · answered by geek49203 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you I would accept the ring and ngagment but hold on actually getting married.
I say this for this reason, marriage is a huge commitment and responsibility (I'm 21 and have been with my man for 3 years and living together almost 2 years and I'm not ready to get married.) Marriage is a step u both hav to fully understand and be ready for. And even at 20 for a male is to yung for him to get married.
Beside I know you want to walk down the isle and have the dress, limo and friends and family there?
You bth need to be good parents and grow and mature more. In 3 or 4 years after ur used ur parenthood then I would go for it
2007-01-01 21:41:19 · answer #3 · answered by lamikashi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Follow your heart.That's all i can say.Do you love him? Does he love you?
I married at 17..we were married 7 years and i was still too immature...we ended up divorced...my fault for that.I'm not saying you will.But i agree you may be too young for marriage.Well, you are too young to be a mother...but...you are going to be.I'm in no way looking down on you,please don't miss understand me.
If you feel you may be too young to get married, then don't do it sweety.But, please...do allow the father to visit his child as often as possible and try and understand how complicated it is to raise a child w/o the father in the home.
You and the father will need to agree on things and not fight.
If you are worried that he asked you to marry just because he feels it is the right thing to do, then ask him and demand an honest answer.I cannot tell you why he asked you, i do not know him.
Also, it is not wrong to get married this young in life and it doesn't have to ruin your life.You can still go to collage, you can still get a career and yes you and your hubby(if you marry) can stil go out on dates...together.Marriage life just isn't all that bad.
But, well, i hate to hear that you are prego and may be getting married, you are so young and still have a long way in life to go.
Just follow your heart,do what you think is best and the rest will be ok.Life will unfold, it has it's ups and downs but for the most part.....everything turns out ok.
good luck kiddo.:)
2007-01-01 21:39:19 · answer #4 · answered by Dream 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your 16 and having a baby. That is a life changing moment.
Marriage to a serviceman who is overseas, another life changing moment.
High School, prom, SAT's, graduation--a life changing moment.
Think Long Engagement. Can you be faithful, emotionally and physically to your B.F. 16 years old, can you manage a household and a baby? Are your parents going to support you while he is overseas? Think Long Engagement.
Allow him to sign a Father of your baby when the child is born, in case 'God forbid' something happens to him; the baby will receive some support. Are you ready to be in a long-term commited relationship? If, in the future, the 2 of you separate you will still be connected by this child.
Think Long Engagement. Graduate high school, go to the parenting classes if offered, learn to cook at least 3 meals and yes, cereal counts as a meal..., can you wash laundry, keep an apartment clean?
DO NOT MARRY FOR THE WRONG REASON.
DO NOT RUIN 3 LIVES.
CAN YOU TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, THE BABY AND HIM IN THAT ORDER?
THINK LONG ENGAGEMENT,,,,,,,,
2007-01-01 21:51:00 · answer #5 · answered by rawalt17 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think any of us can answer that for you. You need to remember that you are very young right now, and marriage is for life. Even if you talk to a priest, they will tell you that pregnancy is not a good reason to get married, and could be grounds for annullment in the future. If you are both genuinely committed to each other and your baby, then waiting until you are older should not matter in the long run. However, if you got married now just because of the pregnancy, and are later unhappy, then you are in a much more difficult situation.
2007-01-01 21:46:18 · answer #6 · answered by katester 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about getting married young. I got married when I was 17. I didn't get pregnant until 13 months later. It is something that I don't regret. And I think that if you want to do the best thing for your child,... you will marry him. If you truly love him that is! I'm not saying that you wouldn't be a great single mother, but a child needs it's father in it's life!
My suggestion is to follow your heart. And do what ever it is you think is best!!
Good Luck and COngrats... May God Bless!
2007-01-01 21:34:24 · answer #7 · answered by Rileigh's MOMMY! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've been with my soldier for 3 years now he's 25 and I'm 22 and we are going to have our first baby together in about 2 weeks:o) We were talking about getting engaged and we still plan to get married but are in no rush...we're happy the way we are and just taking our time. You being 16 and having doubts, you may want to think about it some more...you have plenty of time to really think, and don't stress because you're carrying some precious cargo. As for him just proposing because your prego...i danno, i dont know the guy. But I do know that when they are deployed they do A LOT of thinking, they gain a lot of respect for the woman waiting for them so I'm pretty sure he put a lot of thought into it and does mean it. Good luck hun, wish you the best!
2007-01-01 21:33:03 · answer #8 · answered by ashleylynne_84 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is for boulth reasons. I think if your parent are willing to let you marry early, he must be a good man. he probaly loves you very much and, for that reason he dosent want to abandon you , or your child. he sounds loving and responsible. i am not saying that you should marry him now, or any time. your choice. you will know when the time is right. this will be life changing ,but dont give up.you can still live this life and go on to live a good life. their is suport groups, home schooling, do what you ever you have to reach your dreams . I have had my own fights. i have never been pregnant. but i have a life time of fighting. I come form a family of parents that grew up very por, and worked and worked.... went to school forever. and then i tell them I want to get into the music industry. I am the family discrace. end of story. my farther refuses to pay for me to go to school for music.
every woman has her own war. I will stand by you. If you need any more help i am just a click away.
2007-01-01 22:14:27 · answer #9 · answered by Frankly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to slow down and finish school. If he can wait for you to graduate hs he's a good guy for you and he really loves you. Get your education, it's best for you and the baby. Take good care of your baby and get child support while your bf is away. He needs to help support the baby too. Good luck, I wish you all the best!
And yes, you are too young to decide if you're ready to get married. My friend got married at your age and now she's been through 3 husbands and has 5 kids all 12- 18 months apart.
2007-01-01 21:37:01 · answer #10 · answered by Jnine 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋