What do you think? Am I wrong to disobey parents- age 21, curfew 6/7 pm?

Question

Clean slate; college student; depend on parent for residence, drug and alcohol free does not sleep around. Age 21. am not allowed to go out with friends. I fight too and is scolded if I leave the home after 4 pm. I have to be home at night fall/dusk. Should I let this continue. I am trying to be obedient but it is interfering with my personal, intimate life, growth and happiness. am depressed n sad. Parents dont care what I tell them/discuss. Would I be wrong to disobey and what would YOU Do?

I have a scholarship and i have not taken money from my parents since I began college. i also help with bills around the house. I work part time but its not enough to survive on my own. The program I am in, takes many hours. Not time for a full job.

Answer 1

I think your parents are being very unreasonable. If you are only relying on them for a place to live and not your tuition I would leave. Ask around school or put a poster on your school bulletin that you are looking for a roommate. Its hard to live on your own and hard to work and go to school which I'm sure is what you will have to do but you can do it if you put your mind to it. Once you find a place give your parents an ultimatum... We compromise or I'm leaving. Explain to them that you still love them and will still come around to visit but you cannot possibly live under these conditions. You didn't say what culture you are from so it may be that this is not unreasonable of your parents to ask where they are from, but here in America it is. Sorry if that offends you I'm not trying to just trying to cover all bases.
If you decided to stay there and disobey them then you could end up getting kicked out anyway. So my advice is to find a place and talk to them. Otherwise you could end up with out a place to live at all. Good luck and have a happy new year!

Answer 2

If you are 21 and have a good job and are attending school, then you might want to consider in getting your own place. If you are still living with parents under the same roof and they have rules, or if they are paying for your college, then you need to respect your parents wishes and do as they say.

Otherwise, if you think you are responsible to live on your own, then do leave the home and get your own place.

Another thing to do is talk to them on what you think of all this. Maybe they can let you be out with friends, only if you come home at a certain time.

Answer 3

Dude, I was married at 20. (I am 21 now). I was also a clean slate college kid (still am, just married). You really need to sit down and talk to them. I could see if you were a bad kid at 17, but your a man, and you are a good person (at least you say so..hehe). Ask them what their reasoning for this is, let them know (respectfully) that this is not a normal thing for parents to do. If they do not want to compromise, I think you are left with no other choice then to move out.

Let me tell you man, When I was 20, and been dating my now wife for a while, my parents stopped being curfue and control oreanted, and started letting me become my own person (and this is comming from pretty strict parents growing up) they have to realize that when you become an adult, you become an adult, period. They cannot keep you as their baby boy forever.

Answer 4

If your 21years old I would get a roommate and live in the dorms, because you are way to old to be that governed by your parents petty rules. I can understand a curfew of 12am -1am cause they don't want you to be a party animal but 6/7pm that is ridiculous. I wouldn't disobey them, but I would tell them that you are moving out because you feel these rules are made for a 10year old.

Answer 5

Have a talk w/parents.

Calmly and quietly discuss the fact that you are an adult and should be treated as one. If they insist on not changing, then the ball is in your court and you need to begin looking for your own place.

If finances is the prob...find a roommate.

Ephesians 6: 1-4 (THE MESSAGE translation)
Children, do what your parents tell you. This is only right. "Honor your father and mother" is the first commandment that has a promise attached to it, namely, "so you will live well and have a long life." Fathers, don't exasperate your children by coming down hard on them. Take them by the hand and lead them in the way of the Master.

Answer 6

It's a touchy age but at 21 you should have a lot more freedom. I would have to disobey them. I think you have to stop thinking that you are dependent on them for residence. It might be not as easy but you could live some where else and go to school. Maybe get a part time job to pay for a place to stay. It might buy you your freedom.

Answer 7

While you live with your parents, you have to follow the rules. But maybe you could get a mediator to try to work out some issues with your parents. They are very controlling. If you "disobey", they may even kick you out, and then what are you going to do?

Being an adult doesn't mean doing everything that comes into your mind. Try to finish your degree and then you can go on with your life after you get a job.

Answer 8

Dude, your parents need to back off. Tell them you'll respect rules as a renter but not as a little kid. Tell, them if they dont like that then move out. You are too old to be given a curfew. Make sure they understand you'll follow the rules of the house, as a renter only. Tell them harshly but with love too. your an adult now and you have to act like one, by doing the right thing, not just rebelling.

Answer 9

Yes, you would be wrong; as long as your live in their home, you need to abide by their rules. Bigger question is, why do you still live with your parents???? You need to move into a place of your own, and then curfew wouldn't be an issue with anyone!

Answer 10

I too fell victim to the curfew after age 18. Are you in college? Working? I suggest you look into student housing or getting an apartment. No amount of talking will get you anywhere. Their house, their rules. That's the sad reality of it.