The person she had the affair with is stalking me on this site and pretending to be my wife, posing questions designed to cause friction between us. I'm convinced my wife regrets the mistake and all the damage it has caused. She ended the affair, and I had hoped that was that. Despite the painfully obviousness of his sophomoric attempts to take my wife from me, it still rattles me. Must I meet with him face to face and "convince" him to leave us alone? For everyone's sake it feels like a poor solution.
2007-01-01 12:22:39 · 24 answers · asked by rtanys 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The love I have for my wife and family is FAR more important to me than my pride. I am convinced that this sub-human predator of other men's wives is a coward and terrified of a direct confrontation, as well he should. Due to details that are too extraneous to go into here, I'm convinced it's over between them. We've been together for eleven years and I know my wife quite well, but, yes, I'm still learning.
2007-01-01 14:56:46 · update #1
Let me commend you on trying to repair things with your wife. I can completely understand your desire to maybe 'persuade' this 'gentleman' in person, but I think you are correct to consider that not the best option. There's probably not much you can do besides stop with Y!Answers, and/or see about possible disciplinary action at her place of business, if this keeps up. Honestly, a lot will have to do with how your wife handles the situation with this guy, both at work and online, etc. If she is committed to your marriage still, then she needs to let him know in no uncertain terms that his continued interference is not appreciated. That at least will bring it into a realm (the workplace) that she has some legal leverage in. Other than that, there's not much you can do besides be patient.
2007-01-01 12:28:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
In my opinion, it's never okay to have an affair. At the beginning of the marriage, a couple makes vows to take care of each other in sickness and in health and love and cherish each other til death do they part. Having an affair doesn't show that you love someone. And when you fall in love with someone, it should be because of who they are and not what they look like. People change over time and any 'intelligent' person knows this. If you aren't going to be attracted to someone when they get older or gain some weight then those two people never should have gotten married. And if it's the weight thing that's a problem then help her lose the weight. Do you think that hurting her by having an affair is going to motivate her to lose the weight? No it's not! It's just going to make her depressed and she won't feel like doing anything to lose the weight. An affair just hurts the person that's involved because they get the feeling of not being good enough. Marriage is about 'love.' Not 'convenience.' If you don't wanna be with her anymore then get out now cuz the only person that's going to end up hurt is going to be her!
2016-03-29 03:45:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
avoid him, he is just angry she chose u over him, wants to mess with u. do not meet with this person could be dangerous. if your wife regrets this, than believe in her again, forgive her, focus on the marriage and not this jerk of a person, this coward who stalks u. ignore him, that will upset him more than if u dignified anything he was doing. he is trying to put a wedge between u and your wife, as his ego has been hurt. he is a very small man indeed. don't let him rattle u, u know who u are, and what kind of guy u are, don't let anything he does cause u to doubt your wife's love for u, can't u see this is what he is hoping for. stay away from him, she chose u not him, and he is just sore about it.
2007-01-01 12:39:01 · answer #3 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You didn't say whether he's stalking you outside this website or if he's stalking your wife at work. If so, you can file a restraining order against this man. However, they work together so by doing this you are risking exposure of people finding out of your wife's affair. Your wife's best bet is to look for another job. If she wants to save your marriage she will not hesitate to do this.
Good luck.
2007-01-01 12:31:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this site is causing friction in your attempts to rebuild the trust in your marriage, the two of you need to STOP COMING HERE and focus on the two of you.
Getting past infidelity is hard, but it can be done, and if you truly believe that she's sorry and it won't happen again, you need to do whatever it takes to put the past behind you and avoid places or activities that only serve to make the problem worse instead of better.
You meeting with him won't accomplish anything. Your wife needs to tell him in no uncertain terms that it's over and to leave her alone (if she hasn't already), and cut off all contact with him.
Good luck...
2007-01-01 13:16:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Report the person to yahoo,, when he posts a question then use the report feature and type in what you told us about the stalking and affair.
Let your wife know that this is her guy posting but don't tell her you reported him.
You can also take up the stalking issue since it pertains to you only, with the police.
2007-01-01 12:29:16 · answer #6 · answered by yeller 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to get this guy out of your lives. IF you two are trying to work things out this is only going to add more strain to it. Do as one of the members told you and file for a restraining order. The guy is obviously a nut case.
Also is your wife still working with him? I'd see if she can change jobs or be relocated to the nearest facility.
2007-01-01 12:30:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't meet the cracker face to face. These guys don't have any respect for reason so trying to use it won't impress him.
As for any other type of "convincing" I think not. Just get you into trouble and wouldn't that put a smile on his already grinning little face?
The more attention you pay him the better he likes it. Use whatever legal recourse available and get on with your marriage. Kudos for not giving up.
2007-01-01 12:42:13 · answer #8 · answered by outdone 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
It's obvious you two are trying to work on the relationship,and most men,aren't like you,willing to work things out,they normally kick her to the curb,its commendable.
My advice to you is,tell him to back off,or you should threaten him with the police. She ended it,and she might have not been clear,but the police can make it clearer for him,that it's a done deal. It may be a poor situation,but its obvious that he was to attached for his own good,and he is a stalker.
2007-01-01 12:42:54 · answer #9 · answered by Ellie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do not need to meet him face to face,if the affair is over.If you believe; that you can solve that problem,trying to live in good understanding with your wife,that is what you need to do.If you are not sure that the affair is over,then investigate well.You can try to fix the problem,living with your wife in peace and love,or finally you will need to get divorce.Think good and well.Good luck.
2007-01-01 13:02:56 · answer #10 · answered by cobrasnake 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋