Why cant i make any friends?

Question

I am a loser, you could say. I have no friends, and most of the kids where i live have all gotten into there cliques and i dont fit. im either to dark or depressing or i am not "cool" enough. should i just stay alone and deal or keep putting myself out there?

Answer 1

You should be yourself, in life you're not always going to be accepted by people. Just know that you should remain confident, and you can survive. Most important be yourself, don't change for ANYONE! Unless of course it's a good change.

Answer 2

Sounds corny but your attitude might also affect this. Like do you act dark or depressing? I wouldn't want to be friends with you either. Act happy, smile, etc. I know, cliques suck but not everyone has to be in one. I'm sure there are plenty of people you could be friends with, you're just looking at the 2% of the high school population that is considered "cool" (which by the way in a few yrs they'll be the real losers since they don't care about grades, are probably going to end up pregnant, etc). Try to find people with similar interests, join a club, etc. You're going to have to break out of your comfort zone since friends won't just come to you always. But I'm sure plenty of people will like you.

Answer 3

I agree with the person suggesting that you can make one friend... at a time. Look for opportunities to try new activities and check out new locations for meeting people. There are a pile of activities that are generally considered "adult" that also are thrilled to have youth join in, and that provide good social support, mentoring, and opportunities for social-emotional growth... maybe you're ready for that? I know that there are young women who are mature beyond their years and they get a leg up on life beyond high school by taking the initiative to check out the 'big people world' on their own. I, for one, wish I would have joined something like ToastMasters (public speaking and communication) or an entrepreneurial organization when I was young and mentor-worthy.... would have prevented a lot of stupid mistakes later.

And stop dividing people into the Winner and Loser corales... that is definitely not going to help you achieve your goal of good friendships with all the people out there who are attracted to confidence and poise. If you want to shed some of your dark and depressing feelings, the most effective method I know about is through an energy therapy called EFT, or Emotional Freedom Technique. you can download the free "Get Started Package" at http://tinyurl.com/yh5zhu, or if you want to dive in right away by purchasing the inexpensive instructional DVDs go to http://tinyurl.com/ycwle8

Think of yourself as not "outside the cliques" but "inside the loop" of more fullsome self-discovery. Have a great adventure in 2007!

Answer 4

First Off stop putting yourself down! God Loves You! God has a wonderful plan or blueprint for each of our lives: He calls us "his workmanships" (Ephesians 2:10) We all are different, I was in your shoes, back in high school I was harassed and pick on all the time, not in that click as you call it but far from it. Now I look back and think to myself it wasn't that I hated all those who picked on me. It was I hated myself! The thing is once I healed myself on the inside and looked at what I could offer then I saw a whole new image of myself. The way God and Jesus sees me as a beautiful person with a plan and with significance! I would like to recommend a good book to you for finding significance: its called your best life now by Joel Osteen! If you can't afford it just drop me an email and I will send you a free copy. You see another interesting thing happens when you start looking at your self differently is people see you for what you are! People start wanting to be your friend. You will fit! It's not about you not being cool enough it's about you knowing within yourself your ARE COOL ENOUGH! You are never alone with God! Know you are always welcome in the house of God, And Frankly that is the first place I would start looking for friends. You always have a friend in Jesus! Church's and even schools have groups were you can meet a lot of friends just as individual as you are! I would start putting myself out there first, instead of staying alone in the dark just waiting. I know from experience I never would have went as far in life if I would not have just kept sitting alone in the dark feeling sorry for myself. Sometimes God calls us to make something happen for ourselves! Joel Osteen states in his book: "It's a spiritual principle as well as a psychological fact: We move toward what we see in our minds. If you can't see it, it is not likely to come to pass in your life." Believe Honey! and then you will receive. I pray you will have more hope now than before! Good luck and God Bless!

Answer 5

You should keep putting yourself out there, but dont try to impress others. If you want to have friends, then you will want to make friendships based on who you really are and not who you are trying to be. You know, you might just have a friend out there who sees you as a friend, but you just cant notice them enough as a friend. Look around you and you will be able to find someone out there who is a true friend.

Answer 6

maybe its beacause theres something about you people don't like about you or your a shy person and its hard to make friends.
well if your not confortable being a 'loner' ,try sitting next to people at lunch and starting a conversation by asking or saying someting simple like 'what you get for christmas' or something like that.keep trying to talking to different people and then person you feel you can be friends with the best talk to them more often and sit with them at lunch.
also if you are really the dark and depressed type try hanging around the goths or emos and you'll fit in and make friends more easily

Answer 7

if everyone's already made cliques then ask yourself if you even want to be part of them. then consider putting yourself out there. if nobody likes you then don't change for them no matter what. if you don't make friends soon, try making friends with whatever new kids come and make your own clique. good luck.

Answer 8

Don't give up on having friends. Good friends are priceless.

If you are to make friends, you must be friendly. You must be interested in other people and care about what is important to them. In order to care you must know what they are interested in, so ask questions.

Remember to treat others the way you want to be treated. What would you want others to do in order to make friends with you? Go and do that to them!

Answer 9

Nah, i think ur better off without them. I was like that when i was in school, no biggie. I was more of a loner, loved being by myself. more conservative u know.. Give it time and ull find urself a handful of goodfriends, just dont change.

Answer 10

It sounds like you are way to hard on yourself. Try dressing a little better...like in clothes that are in style. It truly does help. And also, try to be more positive and act friendly. DON'T hold back! People will like you if you try hard. Don't worry, you will be ok. Good luck!