I feel as if my husband ignores me or just doesnt want to communicate with me. I have tried talking (not yelling) to him about it and each time he says he's sorry and treats me nice for a day and that is it. We have only been married two years and we dont talk to each other and our physical relationship ceases to exist. I am really considering parting ways over this. I'd rather truly be alone, than be with someone and feel alone. I dont want to leave because that is not what I thought our marriage was, but I dont know what else to do. Any advice?
2007-01-01 11:59:59 · 27 answers · asked by lalala 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He ain't taking care no business you wouldn't be talking
2007-01-01 12:04:05 · answer #1 · answered by Crackercracker 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can seek marrage counseling as one idea to get to the heart of the matter. Another thought that comes to mind is he could be cheating on you.
I agree with you, there is no sense being in a relationship with someone you don't have a relationship with. There are so many people out there for each of you, maybe the two of you grew apart over the past two years. Maybe he feels the same way.
I would ask what he thinks about counseling. If he's not interested, then he's not interested in working with you to improve things, and then you have your answer. Do nothing and nothing changes. If change is what you seek, then rock the boat until one or both of you fall out.
Life is too short. Best wishes!
2007-01-01 20:06:08 · answer #2 · answered by NeckLover 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with "onelight". If you are essentially living alone, and feeling alone and wondering how to help the other person..... just get out of there.... If he doesn't want to talk to you, find others who will and get your self-esteem back. There is nothing worse than being ignored by someone who is supposed to be your "life-partner". What kind of a partnership is he giving you anyway? and what kind of a life are you going to have if you stay? Do not remain a dusty chair in the corner of the room!!!! You deserve to be acknowledge, and you deserve love from the person who promised to love you. If he doesn't love, respect, or acknowledge you, then dump him and free yourself from the emotional pain that he has caused. You shouldn't feel alone when you are not really alone. I bet you feel better when he's not even around, right? Make it permanent so you can feel better, more often. Good luck to you.
2007-01-02 02:12:15 · answer #3 · answered by catchernkeeper 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
can u get him to go to counseling, because it seems u are seeking a solution and something that can fix whats wrong. maybe your husband is depressed, and needs to talk to someone, hopefully he will be willing to talk it out with u. communicate with him, tell him how hurt u are, in a nice way, don't put him on the defensive. confront him about it, and if he refuses to do anything to help the marriage, than don't stay in the marriage, don't allow him to ruin things for u, if he doesn't want to take some responsibility to get the marriage right, as it does take the pair of u, than let him go and make your changes in your life.
2007-01-01 20:10:31 · answer #4 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who assumed yelling, and why did you find it necessary to post it? Is there a reward for this communication by way of "physical relationship", at your permission granted? Surely a man would be up for nice and pleasant communication if he thought the reward may come thereafter. It sounds as if HE would rather be alone also. NOONE wants to be alone. Why is what I want to know, in regards to the last to sentences you see before this one. I would do a search on hen-pecking if I were you. Just my read.
2007-01-01 20:07:12 · answer #5 · answered by Garret Tripp 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems like you have your head on your shoulders, remember people change and if he sees and does things that is just out there and you two just can't seem to get on the same page you need to first have a heart to heart talk and let him exactly what you wrote. Tell him how you feel and what you will do. Let him be a part of your final decision, give it a chance see if he really this as much as you do.
2007-01-01 20:11:22 · answer #6 · answered by Smile 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try planning a night and sit down and have a talk . ask him if there something wrong and really have a heart to heart talk . Maybe feelings have changed reach out to him . Make sure he knows how you feel . Maybe consider counseling.Before you do run the counseling idea by him first make sure he would like to attend if he doesnt then either he would like to work things out personally or he doesnt want to work things out at all
2007-01-01 20:04:10 · answer #7 · answered by Xxxcore 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
together decide to talk about the pursuit of happiness. He needs different things than you do and I am just like him right now I am watching a ball game. You want to talk and I want to watch. You want change and he wants things to stay the same at least not get worse. What made him attracted to you in the first place, I think it is still there are you willing to go back to the beginning. Show him the person that he fell in love with.....or move on to new things because that is not what he wants.
2007-01-01 20:16:31 · answer #8 · answered by Pablo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the same thing happened to me i was married a little over two years and then finally i couldnt take it anymore. so i filed for divorce. it hurt really bad and people thought i was crazy but sometimes you got to think about yourself for once. the longer you stay in the relationship the more time that is wasted on what could be the perfect opportunity to find the person right for you. be strong and move on.
2007-01-01 20:16:30 · answer #9 · answered by tarahabear 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
" I'd rather be alone by myself than to feel alone in a relationship"
I was in that exact situation and this is what I did over a three year period . . .
Many conversations.
Counseling on my own (as he initially would not go)
Marriage counseling the two of us attended.
No changes on his part...still treated me as piece of furniture.
More conversations between us.
No changes in him...still ignored me.
Tried taking a 'lovers' cruise...it didn't happen due to him.
More conversations.
Talk of divorce.
No changes in him...still ignored me.
My making decision to divorce.
Now, after 23 years marriage...peacefully divorced for four years.
Each individual knows their own limits...you know your boundries, comfort and personal limits . . . do what is right in your life and be at peace with that decision.
.
.
2007-01-01 20:09:21 · answer #10 · answered by onelight 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like my husband...my suggestion is to get away from home and have a date night. It can be cheap or expensive, take all night or just an hour. Suggestions are:
1) bowling
2) dinner
3) movie
4) coffee
5) dessert
6) test driving a vehicle for fun
have fun!
2007-01-01 20:09:36 · answer #11 · answered by y2jasmine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋