i mmet a guy 23 years ago and we have been on and off for since then,i'm 40 and he's 59, we've been together now for 9 years and doing most of this time i was getting high and drinking real bad,i've been clean now for a year, and he promised to marry me and now hes trying to think o every excused not to. iwork and is in school to get a degree, i cook every day i wash his cloths and iron them every morning, i've had to put up with his grown kids who don't,
like to clean up behind thierselves.my problem is that he still treats, me like i'm still getting drunk and high. theres been a lot of'
problems and fights during my usage. he started seeing someone, else last year and he kept lying about, leaving her alone for a while. we're only happy for a day or two and hes mad about something, i get sex about twice a month if that, and when i talk to him about things, he ignores me. we dranked grape juice last night,
and said we would try to better our relationship, and this morning,
he start
2007-01-01 11:58:10 · 16 answers · asked by sharky 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
an argument again, and another thing we don't go anywhere anymore, but when i go to work he finds everywhere to go. i just want peace in my life and i'm losing myself trying to make this work, i gave up on clening parts of the house, trying to have patience, hoping the other adult will leave soon. i 'm pretty much made up my mind to leave, what shall i do.
2007-01-01 12:03:48 · update #1
If you're asking, then you know the answer. It's time to hit the road.
2007-01-01 12:07:03 · answer #1 · answered by CyndiDrum 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good job at being clean and sober for a year. I stayed clean and sober for almost 8 years. Then I got married and thought I could handle the fact that he wasn't totally sober. Last month I relapsed with him and instantly my life flew down the drain. Now I know that I need to be in recovery not just clean and sober and so does my husband in order for us to put the pieces back together. I still believe that Love can overcome all trials. I hope that we are moving in the right direction now even though the progress is slow.
2007-01-01 20:29:11 · answer #2 · answered by 8 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have made substantial changes, apparently for the better. If he has not caught up to the program, you may need to leave.
Darlin' this guy is 6 years older than me but you are 13 years younger. I would love to think that I could keep up someone that much younger but even that might be difficult.
Stay clean and set up a new life. I rarely suggest leaving .
2007-01-01 20:53:22 · answer #3 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave
work the heaven out of the 12 steps, particularly the fearless moral inventory step.
You are clean but you can't get into recovery until you leave and until you work the 12 steps. After you have worked them fully, you will find a decent man, not a bum who wishes you still drank and drugged. You will find a decent man because you will be a far better person, and birds of a feather flock together.
Your being clean threatens him and he wants you to return to drugs and alcohol so that you can take your "rightful" place in the gutter next to him.
2007-01-01 20:09:38 · answer #4 · answered by adamsjrcn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get him out of ur life. If he reali keen to marry u, he'd have done that long ago. Wat for u be a free cleaner n cook for him n his kids? Now already like that, wat'll happen if both of u reali married?? Move on, prove to him that u can be a better n happier person without him. Nothing in this world is impossible!
2007-01-02 02:56:15 · answer #5 · answered by le_snowangel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find someone else. The guy is not worth it. If you don't find anyone else it's better to be by yourself than with someone that your not happy with. If he is making excuses for not marrying you then he won't. He needs to tell you the truth instead of having excuses for not getting married.
2007-01-01 20:08:14 · answer #6 · answered by Nancy M. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to stay focused and that means clean and sober. Call your support group and try to find a place to move to. Good luck and I wish you the best.
2007-01-01 20:07:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a different person. You have changed. You deserve better. He wanted to be with a drunk etc. He doesn't want to be with you, because you have shown him that you are worth something. If you want to be satisfied in your life, you need to find someone who will respect you, and SPEAK respectfully to you.
2007-01-02 03:02:27 · answer #8 · answered by sandcatsle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
looks like he made up his mind about you and you about him so as hard as it maybe just get your personal things and leave send some one for the rest later go on a lil vacation to help clear out your head.
2007-01-01 22:10:23 · answer #9 · answered by e.jlo909 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him first- and if things don't change than leave.
But remember to stay clean- make this year about you. Get your things together!
2007-01-01 20:10:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋