Since most women today don't date to find true love & life long commitment, isn't life then just about money?

Question

Particluarly U.S. women in careers. Seems like society has turned "love" into a business, & so "love" is a terrible choice to waste your time finding. Marriage is seen as ONLY an insitution equal to a jail, or a busniess investment. People date only for benefits like money. Time is money & dating takes away from the money you save from the jobs you have. Many women date only to use men to massage their egos, & many men use women to massage theirs. No one cares about anything but themselves. & people, especially women, are so bitter about romance thats it's laughable for them to take it seriously. So it seems that life is only about making money to live comfortably, & thats it.

Is this true? Shouldn't it be taught in schools?

By the way, I know this is how most women feel because this is what I hear them say all the time in real life. Respected writers of womans magazines, similar writers who write this on front pages on sites like Yahoo as well, everywhere I see this attitude.

Also, so then why continue to teach children about love, and all that stuff when life is really just about money, & yourself (the individual). Why does society lie to children and make them believe that life is also about finding a companion when most epople don't care at all about any real sort of companionship? And those that do, like some women who do, OTHER women who's about money then say, "those women who want love are fools who just cook and clean for their men"?

nikki newman - And why is it that when a guy asks a honest question like this, women like you bash them for no reason?

Amanda - Why are people like yourself calling me cynical when I'm just saying what the majority of women have told me, and how I see many of them act? I wouldn't have reason to ask this otherwise. I made this "generlization" from life experience. Some generalization DO exist you know. Maybe most of you haven't seen this aspect because your women, your no a man who dates women. It's difficult to see this outside of your group.

By the way, I'm happily married, played the dating game, and won, and made the women I dated in the past very happy while we dated. I ask this only because I see problems with "love" in this society getting worse and wondered what you all thought. Asking this question doesn't mean I have problems with women or dating in general. It's just an honest question.

Colleen O - So if I happened to come across an article about these kinds of women, and I read it, that makes me selfish and self centered? Thats kind of ridiculous.

catchernk... - If it comes to almost everyone not caring about anything more than simple dating, then I think people like myself should worry. I would be fored to be single if no women wanted anything more than a simple date.

Not that it would happen, just stating that logically, if all of society was against a form of marriage, then you'd be forced to be single, and would have to worry about those other people, since you don't date yourself.

By the way, I don;t see how dating could be fun unless your a pretty girl that all guys gravitate to. Or a guy who's a master player.

Answer 1

Sounds like a bitter dude that a woman dumped and used money as the reason for dumping, even though it was really his rotten personlity that she couldn't stand.

Answer 2

Sounds like you're pretty cynical yourself. There are a lot of people out there (men and women) who are more interested in being happy and having a family, life partner, etc. than in money. Money is certainly necessary in today's capitalistic, consumer-driven society, and there are indeed people out there who value it over more intangible things.

But to generalize and say that most women feel this way is ridiculous - this may be an attitude projected in magazines and the media, but there are just as many women (and men) who value love and friendship far beyond money. Money sometimes gets in the way of seeing what's really important, and life can certainly be harder if you don't have much, but love is worth far more than a few (or many) dollars.

Then again, maybe I have a slanted view of the world because I'm engaged to a wonderful man whom I love, and because I have many friends and family members who personally value love and family above material things.

We (my fiance and I) don't have a lot of money, although we are both employed and are better off than many, and we buy on credit sometimes, but I wouldn't trade my relationship for anything. Nor would I (before I met him) have traded the hope of finding such a relationship for any guarantee of financial security.

Answer 3

Some women I'm sure are like this, but not all. I'm 21... yes I'm concerned about money (that's why I work part-time while doing my full-time university studies), I want a good job but I also want to find love. I would never get married or date just to be with someone, I want to find happiness. Money has always been important... you need money to have a home, to take care of kids, etc., and now it's not just males in the provider role but I certainly don't want to be the sole provider, I want a man who has a decent job and is willing to work to provide for his family. I think lots of women are lonely and date guys at first because they're hot or other superficial reasons, but ultimately I think everyone wants to be loved. Marriage isn't seen equal to jail, lots of people still want to get married and believe in marriage. People in their 20s are pretty much like teenagers were 20+ yrs ago, society isn't exactly maturing, so many 20somethings look for fun rather than commitment, but it doesn't mean they don't want to eventually settle down and get married/raise a family, etc. I think you have a very cynical view of things. Money is important for sure but it doesn't mean love isn't an important thing in life. I would rather be well-off and happy with someone who loves me than just mega rich and lonely.

Answer 4

Life is about being happy. For many people (women AND men) marriage isn't the ultimate goal. Dating is fun. That's all there is to it. If more comes, then that's great! It's not some great dream to be married anymore, so what's the big deal? Everybody makes their own choices. Freedom & liberation are good things.. Why do you care what other people do, as long as YOU are happy. They aren't forcing you to stay single.

Answer 5

your just dating the wrong kind of women .Your not looking in the right places. not all women are about money and what the man can do for them. Yes women date just like men. and most i would hope is to find someone special. not like you say to just use them. It's a cold world out there and yes i agree i c lots of people out there that use others. but you stick to your beliefs there will be a girl out there for you. Just harder to find in this day and age. But don't go thinking like them. Thats why so many people have problems these days everyone out to use someone else. You stay the way you are. you'll find someone who agree's with you. good luck

Answer 6

I know exactly what you're talking about. It makes great sense especially with all the rights women have been allowed to have in the past century. It seems like women have a lot more freedom to make their own money or to choose who they want to give (err... lend) their bodies to.

Hopefully this won't be a problem for future generations. It seems like the traditional family where the parents remain together until death is long dead.

It will be a lot more difficult in making decisions to have children. Perhaps the idea of having children and setting a good example for them will be enough motivation to keep the ideal of the traditional family intact.

Afterall, who will take care of you when you are elderly?

Your children.

So essentially, women will eventually have the desire to find a good man to raise good kids.

Answer 7

No, working although pays money there is more too it than that. Working also boosts self esteem and EMPOWERS women. Since women became more prominent in the workforce we have figured out that we do not HAVE to stay in an abusive relationship, that we DO have options.
Just because YOU hear what you hear from women doesn't mean it goes for ALL women...it just goes for the women within the circles YOU travel. So IF you are hearing this from women then YOU must be as selifish and as self centered as they.

Answer 8

I cant answer for any one but me. I am a woman !Every one I know wants love,fullfiment and contentment. Money cant hold you , love or wipe your tears away. I respectfully disagree. I want a guy that works and pulls hi own weight. Joyce meyers has wonderful books, tapes and teaching, I found true love. It is awsome. He is a christian guy who is wonderful. No he wasnt and isnt rich in the things that money can buy, I found him in church. Please dont be so negative! Become that person that is real, W become whole! and real and secure. Two whole people make a whole realtionship. Read boundries in dating by John Mcloud! Wow! God bless, No I am not one in a million. There are a lot of good women out there. What you give out is what you get back. God bless you~

Answer 9

I think you know some pretty messed up chicks, I married my husband at 23 when he wasnt working, we didnt have much but loved each other (still do) he now has a job and earns good money, but back then he didnt. Most of my girlfriends date for fun, but if they find a guy they are interested in then they are open to suggestions. Maybe instead of bitching about how people dont like people for who they are you should go and meet some real people?

Answer 10

Here is what I think about that...I want my kids to grow up in a nice home (that cost ALOT of money) I would like to drive them school in a nice vehicle (that cost money) and you are right to some extent , being with a man that has money is like a man being with a very hot women!
They both arent actually needed, but they are nice.