I have been married for 5 years, have a 2 year old and am now 5 months pregnant. I'm not at all happy in our relationship. I don't want to leave him but I want to have a passionate relationship with someone. He doesn't know the meaning of passion and it's been this way for about 3 years. I tried to talk to him but so far he hasn't changed at all. What should I do?
2007-01-01 10:46:47 · 27 answers · asked by Beth S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know how you feel. If your only problem is the sex its fixable and not by cheating it will only make it worse. Being open with each other is better then any therapy. Tell him what you desire and that your not happy with it could be a fun experiance tring to new ways to spice it up. Get sombody to watch your child and have a evening and morning all to yourselfs. But if theres more to it then sex you might need to rethink your marriage if your desire other men. Rember all you ever really need is yourself.
2007-01-01 11:27:07 · answer #1 · answered by Jessica A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If during the 5 years that you were not happy, but have brought 1 child and another on the way into this world....why did you even get pregnant in the first place? That was the wrong thing to do, when you don't even have feelings for your husband. I really think that you are just thinking about yourself and not your children.
Just think if you start cheating, what good will that do in your marriage and being a mother to your children. If you are thinking of cheating, that is not a good role model for your children at all. You want to cheat all because your husband doesn't show any passion? That is very selfish to even think that. You are his wife, so get some help books or show him how to be affectionate and loving. If he doesn't do it, you do it....in the long run, he will thank you for showing him! (smile)
Also, if you knew that he didn't know the meaning of passion within the 3 years or so, why did you marry him? By the way, you cannot change him, you already saw a red flag before you got married, but still married him. Remember, you are the help mate...so why not help him?
So do consider in thinking about this more. Think about how much it will affect your children and your marriage. You may want to consider in seeking counseling for the both of you if you want to save your marriage. Don't destroy your children's lives over this, you can still do something about it. Spice up the marriage!!
Hope this helps! (smile)
2007-01-01 20:58:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well something must b goin alright, u have a 2 yr. old and 5mo. preg. ... as for the reason u don't want o leave him think about the reason that u are together thus far... passion? tell him how it makes u feel and show him what it is u WANT!
Cheating isn't goin to make thins any better and besides ur preg. that is so not right to b messin w/ someone while ur preg. w/ ur husbands child...
Big Mistake if u ask me that can b such a big problem, talk this out with him and at least wait till after the baby is born to act on this "need " u Think u have.
After some time hopefully u'll come to ur senses and not destroy ur family
2007-01-01 19:08:11 · answer #3 · answered by ~Niecee~ âË» âË» ♂ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What you should NOT do is CHEAT !! That is just so wrong !! If you honestly feel like you want to cheat, then you should leave. If he has not been passionate for 3 yrs and you have tried talking to him to no avail then l guess he does not want to change. It is up to you whether you love him and want your marriage to work or not, but do not cheat. It only makes your problems worse, cheating does not help any relationship. Think also about your children. How will all of this affect them ?? If you tell him you want to cheat, l would say you can kiss any chance of making your marriage work good-bye. Best of luck to you and Happy New Year.
2007-01-01 19:03:13 · answer #4 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him again and tell him how serious it is for you. Tell him what you need. This may sound a bit cruel but nobody is going to be with you knowing you have kids and are pregnant with another. You need to tell him you have been missing something and are getting to the point that you need more and are afraid he won't give it to you. Make him understand. If he still won't listen go get counseling. If you don't want to leave him then don't hurt him by having an affair. It will come out if you have one. Do you really want to break his heart. Would you want him to do that to you. Thing about it. If you are going to have an affair tell him first. At least he will have a chance to leave you if he doesn't want to change.
2007-01-01 19:25:07 · answer #5 · answered by smile4u 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've tried talking to him...try some more...and then maybe some couples therapy...and then get out if you need to.
You're unhappy, but that needs to come out in a controlled environment. I know what you're feeling makes sense to you, but to him is going to sound like a threat...and maybe it is...that's not going to go over well.
All of that said, say you get divorced. Now you're a single mother of two. Assuming that your husband is a good guy, he'll be supportive and help with the kids, but passion and excitement are not necessarily easy for a girl who's got to be home to do 2 AM feedings. It's gut check time, is what you think you're missing realistic?
2007-01-01 18:55:14 · answer #6 · answered by David G 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wait for the child to be born, so you can be more mobile if you have to, and its a shame that your husband is not very passionate, becasue to me a pregnant women is beautiful and I (when I was married) would love to make love to my wife and was very passionate. But that was a while ago, now I am a single father with sole custody of my two daughters. But I wish you the best in whatever you deceide, and God Bless, and hope your pregnancy goes well. Too bad your husband does not apreiciate what he has.
2007-01-01 18:59:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Tell him exactly how you are feeling and that you are so desirous of a passionate relationship that you are wanting to look elsewhere. Ask if he'll go into counselling with you and work on your marriage- that's really all you can do since both of you need to be committed to it to make it work out. If you don't want to leave him, hopefully you will be able to get him to hear your plea and the two of you can work things out together.
2007-01-01 18:54:41 · answer #8 · answered by Peace 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Well, 5 months pregnant might not be the best time, but there is nothing wrong with having sex right up to child birth IF the doctor says it is OK.
I am going to give you some web sites, you can read them. Cheating is not good because it is lying, however having sex with someone other than your husband is not uncommon. The main thing is to let him know how you feel and have him read this information as well. it will probably help both of you.
2007-01-01 19:03:51 · answer #9 · answered by pinelake302 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Cheating is not the solution. Both of you need to go to a marriage counselor or perhaps, he needs to see his physician. There is either something wrong with the relationship or with him physically. If he won't go, you should at least get into some group therapy if you are to save this marriage.
2007-01-01 19:04:10 · answer #10 · answered by Santa's Elf 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋