We met, fell in love with eachother, had a 5 month affair before he found out. she has 2 children, i love them, they love me. I am the man of her dreams, she is the woman of mine. she still loves him, but knows he is not the right man for her... he has not changed in nearly a decade. she is torn because she doesn't want to take her children away from their father. she has repeatedly said that if it wasn't for the children, she would already be with me. he wants her to tell me good bye once and for all... she can't. she is with him now and we have very little contact, mostly through e-mail. what should i do? can we make it work? has anybody been in a similar situation? i need advice for this situation... it's something new for me!
2007-01-01 10:09:30 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Did you type the wrong name for your ID. Didn't you mean to type D!CKHEAD! Come on, you are in the middle of a mess, break it off and find a single woman.
Prey she does not pull the same crap on you!
2007-01-01 14:52:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh wow, sounds like you really got yourself mixed up in a tough situation. The sad thing is sounds like she won't ever leave her husband. Maybe you should walk away. You were just something for fun for her. Besides, if she tried to get a divorce now it would be really stressful because he found out about the affair and he would use that against her. Walk away. You don't want to be part of a messy thing. You deserve the best. There are plenty of single woman in the sea looking for a very single man. Say good bye. I was in a similar situation. But I didn't stay with man I had an affair with.
2007-01-01 10:21:19 · answer #2 · answered by Tammy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I've been in a similar situation - my husband cheated on me three years into our marriage, and it was the most painful thing I've ever experienced. Ripped my heart out and plunged me into severe depression. So I have no sympathy for cheaters whatsoever. There is no excuse for cheating - ever. If a marriage is bad, work it out or get out of it. If you know someone is married, don't fool around with them. And the damage that is done to the kids - oh man.
There's always two sides to every story, and your partner in crime has told you her side about her husband. Maybe he's not the perfect guy, but on her side, she's a cheater! And you are a homewrecker. So where do either of you get off judging him? In fact, he sounds pretty decent; he's willing to take her back.
The two of you deserve each other, and her husband deserves better.
2007-01-01 10:30:02 · answer #3 · answered by passin thru 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if this is good advice, but i have been in the same situation as your woman. The best advice i can give you is give her time, I know that it is a hard thing to do. I have still not left my husband and it has been over 3 1/2 years and i really do love this other person but I really don't want to hurt my kids. I am sure that she really loves you and it is just hard to take her kids away from their dad. Trust me i know. Sorry for your bad time that you are having.
2007-01-01 10:27:29 · answer #4 · answered by lovespell30175 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She won't leave, don't waster anymore of your time. I wasted three years in a similar situation. You will find someone that wants to be with you - it will hurt at first but the longer you wait to break away the harder it will be on you. There is something new and exciting waiting for you, you just have to end the affair and find it. Been there done that and I am now the happiest I have been in a long time. Good Luck.
2007-01-01 10:27:09 · answer #5 · answered by Redhead 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to say goodbye. The mother of those children will pay if you don't. If this is meant to be, then don't let the reason she leaves her husband be you. Obviously she wasn't happy with him or you and her would have never gotten together. If she leaves him for you, those children will grow up and know that their mother cheated on their father, as did you. They will blame, and be angry at both of you. If she leaves, and the kids end up with her (doubtful), then they will be angry because their father isn't around anymore. The best case scenario is that if she leaves him, it's because she's not happy with him. This should have nothing to do with you. Keep your distance and show respect for those children.
2007-01-01 10:31:54 · answer #6 · answered by 2mom35 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She doesn't want to take their children away from their father, you said it yourself, stop being selfish, think of the children and stay away from her. Yes I've been in this situation and gave up the love of my life because he had children with another woman and she wanted to make it work with him. His children are now successful and well, he married the mother of his children and they are still together. Leave her alone, do the right thing .be bigger than your wants and emotions.
2007-01-01 10:15:29 · answer #7 · answered by letgo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be the mature one here. You need to take the step away from her and leave her family intact.
What you both did was wrong. She still has feelings for her husband, and she wants to keep her family together. She was wrong to cheat, and her husband is very generous to take her back.
She has explained to you that her family needs to stay together. Now you need to be a gentleman and take yourself out of the picture.
I hope you have learned from this experience. A marriage is a union pledged before the world that they will remain together as a family. You should NEVER again get involved with someone who is still married.
2007-01-01 10:31:32 · answer #8 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You both may love each other, but she already made her decision. Her marriage obviously isn't that bad if she is staying. Whether it's for the sake of her kids or not. What is it that you are asking us? You know what you need to do. Stop all contact w/her. As long as you continue to communicate with her you will not emotionally disconnect. No matter how much you claim you love each other. Remember, what started badly, will endly badly.
2007-01-01 13:12:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're in a very dangerous situation. Unfortunately, there is nothing much you can do. She has to choose between you and your husband. Even if children are involved, it is unwise to stay in a relationship for their sake alone... only resentment to the partner can come of that. It might be good for you to go to a counselor, priest or other trusted individual to talk to (preferably a trained individual). You have to address how you feel and come to peace with the situation.
2007-01-01 10:42:58 · answer #10 · answered by Rox 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No its not going to work. My hubby found a gal and he wanted to keep both of us. I told him no way...its very hard to watch someone you are in love with love someone else!!!! If she really did love you she would have left her husband by now. I kicked my man out...we had just celebrated 19 yrs of marriage and have 4 kids. No way is this ok. I do not want that kind of life for myself nor do I think its a good example for my kids. Now 7 months later my kids and I are happier and stronger for it! Sounds like to me she has made her choice and its not you. Good luck!
2007-01-01 10:46:45 · answer #11 · answered by mysweetluvie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋