OK, I'm worried that I might be gay. I masturbate to gay porn, and I fantasize about having sex with guys. I like some girls, and I have a girlfriend. I really love spending time with her and kissing her, but I'm not really excited about the thought of having sex with her. Is there any way I can become more straight? I really don't want to be gay.
2007-01-01 09:33:52 · 18 answers · asked by teddy 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Hi, Teddy. Based on the few details you list here, I would say you are gay. I suggest you accept this before you get more deeply involved with a female and end up saying or doing some dumb or romantic that you will regret later. I understand completely what you mean by not wanting to be gay. I felt the same way, and as a result I hated my life and grew suicidal. I did not come out until I was 35, which means I wasted the 20 best years of my life by living in the shadows. You had better believe I regret that more than anything else in my life.
So here is my advice, which you asked for: Please do not make the same mistakes I did by fearing and waiting. Love and accept yourself, so you can greet every day of your life with a clean conscience and an open heart. Please grow into and become the gay man you really are.
2007-01-01 10:35:51 · answer #1 · answered by fall2005buseng 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You masturbate to gay porn, and you fantasize about having sex with guys and you still don't know what you are? And on top of everything you want to "become more straight"?
A lot of guys go through the same confusing experience. After all, there's a lot of pressure in society not to be gay. But if you don't have a sexual interest in women, even if you can deceive a girl and deceive yourself, you might ask yourself, 'Is it fair to the girl?'
It's not fair to yourself, either, which you might discover as you learn more about being yourself, and taking good care of yourself.
Best of luck.
2007-01-01 10:17:30 · answer #2 · answered by Kedar 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You can't really change your sexuality. It's something you're born with. Think about it: if you could, Ted Haggart would still have his preaching job right now. Talk about guys who don't want to be gay!
It sounds like you are definitely at least bi. How do you like girls? If you just like hanging out with them, that doesn't really mean much. Sexuality is a continuum: maybe you are mostly gay, maybe you are half and half and just don't have a lot of girls you're attracted to around you, or maybe it's somewhere in between. That's a question you'll have to find the answer to by yourself.
You should probably seek counseling, and not from one of the awful groups that claim they can make you straight. It. Doesn't. Work. A real psychologist or therapist can help you to come to terms with your sexual identity, whatever that may be, and help you to deal with any fallout. One of those groups will just make you miserable forever. Good luck.
2007-01-01 09:54:22 · answer #3 · answered by random6x7 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you probably are bi; dont worry about not being excited about sex, im not a big sex person either. If you have feelings for her, than you're not gay. If you're both emotionally attracted to her and physically attracted to guys, you are most likely bi. Either bi or gay and pansexual with girls (not the slang version; pansexual means that you get a physical attraction through emotional attraction, so that would explain why you arent attracted to most girls sans your gf, because you are only emotionally attracted to her and thus only physically attracted to her). You can't change your sexuality, but hopefully you'll grow to like it. I didn't want to be bi when i first found out either but I now love that I am.
2007-01-01 10:22:13 · answer #4 · answered by guitarherofairy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You read like a very young man. I suspect that you are going through adolescence? Hormones raging and growth spurts? You will turn out to be who you are meant to be. If you like the feel of your girlfriend and the touch of her lips (without thinking she's some guy when your eyes are closed) then you may yet turn out to be a straight man. Or you may be Bi, or you may be gay. I'm afraid choice has nothing to do with it.
It may just be a phase you're going through. Either way, sit back and enjoy the ride.
2007-01-01 11:08:34 · answer #5 · answered by unclefrunk 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off, forget the labels and just go with the flow. whether you are gay or straight is not important; the reality is how you react and respond to both people and stimuli. If you find that only gay sex and thoghts of it will turn you on sexually, then go with it. but if girls really do a number on you sexually speaking then go that way. And if both do their thing equally, then don't bother deciding on gender, simply find someone to love and honour and cherish and be with them regardless of their gender.
Okay, on a bit more personal note, based solely on what you said in yoru question and in the absence of knowing even how old you are, I will go out on a limb here and say there is every likelihood you are gay or very close to it. And given that, then you will just have to accept yourself for who you are and take life as it comes. Wishing you are straight, trying therapy to go straight or otherwise messing with the way your god made you is just going to screw you up. And as a gay guy, there are enough people out there who will try to mess you up without you doing it to yourself.
And my caveat is I do not really believe I know enough about you to truly offer more depth or explanation than this. Without a chance to really find out lots more about you, you will just have to settle for my opinion based on what little you said even though I know you won't like what I said.
2007-01-01 09:46:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just do what feels sexually right. If you realize you are gay, it is going to be hard. Not everyone is going to be accepting. It also looks like you won't be too accepting of yourself if you are gay. Accept yourself for who you are, regardless of the reactions of others. Just remember, even though there are people who are prejudiced against gays, there are people who will embrace them with open arms, and not just other gays either.
Discover how you are and accept yourself.
2007-01-01 10:15:14 · answer #7 · answered by Breein 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are gay, whixh it sounds like you are, there is no way to change that. You can still date and see girls, but you may never be happy. Accept who you are.
2007-01-01 10:31:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hands down sounds bi to me. Which is awesome, so no worries. <3
2007-01-01 09:51:37 · answer #9 · answered by ♫ Silence 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you could be bi. don't worry about it. embrace yourself and all will turn out right. if you are going through puberty, it could be just a phase.
2007-01-01 09:39:25 · answer #10 · answered by happyinblue 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋