my friend is 14 years old. and she still sleeps in her moms bed. i asked her why and she said, "for 1 i dont like sleeping by myself and for 2 i always wake up in the middle of the night unless i am with her." they recently moved next door to me and they r sleeping on the couch and love seat. and she was sleeping in the floor right next to the couch where her mom was sleeping. i guess today or tomorrow she is getting bunkbeds to sleep in "by herself"
how do i encourage her that it is ok to sleep by her self. i want to tell her to grow up but i dont want to be rude. please help! and last night she went home at like 1 am cuz she said she couldnt sleep. please help me find a way to tell her that she needs to grow up with out being rude?
Give any advice you have! i will give u 10 points.
2007-01-01 09:18:38 · 44 answers · asked by ReyMysterio_Fan619 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Be supportive, but don't push her too hard. Encouragement will work better. Something may have happened in her life that has made her afraid to be alone. Don't push too hard. You sound like a good friend. I know you will handle things well! Good luck.
2007-01-01 09:21:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
I doubt that they can or will cause you any further trouble. Parents usually pay a baby sitter to "watch" their child or children while they're out for the evening. You can't be watching their child if you're asleep, no matter where it was you fell asleep. The 2 year old could have gotten into trouble and injured herself while you were asleep. You have to be more responsible when you're babysitting young children. I'm sure they were disappointed to find you sleeping instead of watching their daughter, that's why they said what they did. If I were you, I'd go to their house and talk to them face to face, and apologize for falling asleep and ask their forgiveness. If you do this and they feel you know what you did was wrong, and won't let it happen again with their child or any other child or children, they will likely give you a second chance at working for them and would likely recommend your services to others. They will get over this. They probably have done similar things since their child was born. Children don't come with a instruction manual, so first time parents find that raising a child is a REAL learning experience nearly every day! Say you're sorry and ask for another chance. You'll be a much bigger person in their eyes than if you just ignore them and forget about this incident. Good luck and I hope they forgive you for this mistake since nothing happened.
2016-05-23 03:57:00 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I for one am glad you aren't being mean or harsh to her because of this predicament. Now, as for a way to resolve this, I have not personally experience this but maybe doing something such as having her take a picture of her mom and having it sit on a nightstand might be something to try. I know of one kid who would sleep by holding on to a picture of his parents in a album..... this would hopefully help her relax, just seeing that picture.
I also fully agree with the bunkbed idea. People are different. Everyone has different emotions and characteristics. Some would say this is 'Mommy's girl' or other cynical response, i merely tell those kinds of people to STFU.....
Also, using a same technique, maybe a personal belonging of her mothers would allow her to sleep in different areas and also feeling secure. A necklace she can wear with a locket with her mom's picture could work.
Hope this helped somewhat. And keep supporting her, no need to pressure her into feeling bad about this habit. I'm sure this will blow over and later you guys can all have a good laugh (a good laugh, not a bad laugh)
Good Luck and Happy New Year!
2007-01-01 09:25:35 · answer #3 · answered by NerdyAndrew 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Um, there's not "polite" way to say "grow up". As a friend, what you need to be able to say is "you can do this". I recently went through this with a six year old boy who was still sleeping with his mother.
(Before you all jump up to tell me that's ok, how would it go over if I was sleeping with my six-year old daughter.)
Be suppotive. Don't give her too much grief about going home in the middle of the night because she can't sleep. Just wait a while and invite her back to try it again. At your age, my solution for this would have been to invent games to play all night...by morning she'll drop from exhaustion and sleep just fine. :)
2007-01-01 09:26:27 · answer #4 · answered by David G 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have your mother talk to her mother. She may have been abused or been in a tramatic situation. It may not be because shes a baby but on the other hand her mother may be abusing her, talk to a school guidance counsler. As 9 times out of 10 she wouldnt admit the abuse, if there was any. Be gentle with her, and she'll grow out of it, but she would probably need counsling as she probably has some type of issue that she needs to confront before being able to stop sleeping with mom.
2007-01-01 11:02:15 · answer #5 · answered by ...yoU knOw u nEed Me baYbeE... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's nice that you care about your friend, does she go away by herself? This is a tricking situation because some teens feel reassured by this and you don't know what has happened to her in the past whereas it may be starting to be a concern at fourteen, your should invite her over for a sleepover and just talk honestly as girls and support one another. But the most important thing is not to tell anybody at school in your friendship group, if she tells you something serious or you feel uncomftable speak with an adult you trust or even now. good luck
2007-01-01 10:44:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess if her mother has not convinced her that sleeping together may be a little unorthodox ed in this society then it just may be extremely hard to convince her to stop. I'm pretty sure that she knows that others her age don't do this but it may be possible that both she and her mom are simply okay with it for codependent reasons or her mom doesn't have the heart to stop her. I believe that if you invite her over and keep her so entertained then she will possibly just fall asleep watching a good flick. You may have to do this as a routine before she gets used to it. And thanks for being such a good friend to her I'm sure you will be able to help her eventually.
2007-01-01 09:35:07 · answer #7 · answered by MeHurdu 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's likely that she is like this because her mother never discouraged her from sleeping in her bed while she was getting older. Her mother must be unmarried because most fathers or step-fathers discourage this type of behavior. In some cultures, it is perfectly normal for everyone in the family to sleep in the same bed. But our culture rewards independence. You might want to point out to her that eventually she will need to learn to sleep alone unless she plans on living with her mother forever and never leaving home, going to college, getting married, etc.
She more than likely will grow out of this on her own even without any encouragement, but it doesn't hurt to encourage her to step outside of her comfort zone to become more independent.
2007-01-01 09:27:53 · answer #8 · answered by Jennifer C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her some ways that she can get herself to sleep like reading a book before she goes to bed. I'm not much of a reader but if I want to make myself sleepy, then I read. If that doesn't work, tell her to put a pillow next to her when she's sleeping so she won't feel alone. If she needs to, she can spray it with her mom's perfume or something so it feels like she's there. It might sound weird but it works. Hope it works for her.
2007-01-01 09:28:06 · answer #9 · answered by aneps_grl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your friend has a serious issue with separation anxiety. Her mother has done her a huge disservice by allowing this to take place. I am not a doctor-but anyone can see the girl and the mother need help.
I would tell her as a friend that it is time to grow up and let her know other people find this strange. I would also report this mother to child protective services-what else is going on??????
2007-01-01 09:23:39 · answer #10 · answered by gagam 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
my 12 year old sister who i have to share a room with does the same thing. she gets up in the morning and goes to my parents room. so i ashed her why she does that. she said cause she is scared of aliens coming to get her/ i just told her to get a grip and grow up they have not got you yet so there not. i have 7 brothers and sisters and we have all done that once you know. but my oldest brother slept with my parents til he was 13. then hi9s friends found out and well he did not anymore.
try tellig her ways that might help her sleep alone like listening to music. or reading, or even leaving the light on for a while.
2007-01-01 09:28:56 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋