Yesterday, I told ex-spouse who was already dating and even introduced his new girlfriend to his immediate family, that I decide to move on with my life and marry my bestfriend of 9 years. He helped me over the pain my ex caused me and proved for years his love.
He told me last night if I went to spend New Year's Eve with my fiance then he never wanted to see nor speak to me. Anything left would have to be through mail or a message with a family member. No contact at all.
I spend it with my fiance and all his friends who through us a party to celebrate our engagement and the New Years.
Right now he calls, upset about me not bothering to call him to wish him a new years. That if I had, he was going to tell me for us to get back together. (After an affair he had, and now his new girlfriend.) That he is hurt and can't believe what I did.
I have put my pride aside so many times that our marriage last almost 6 years. I am attempting to rebuild my life.
I do not know what to do?
2007-01-01 09:11:00 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
oook.....well there's a saying that goes you don't know what you have till its gone and it sounds like your ex husband just got a huge slap of this in the face but that is not your problem or responsibility you are lucky you raised the bar and have realized your worth moved on and found someone who was willing to met it! i was also at one time married to a loser left him for my best friend and then my ex tried spreading lies about us all around town and then when he was done was like lets get back together and move on. What you have to realize is his happiness does not rest on your shoulders it is his loss and now he must live with it and he had all this time to be working on himself trying to prove he is a better person to you and be asking for another chance but only when he realizes you are not waiting for him to come back to you does he say "oh but i wanted to get back together" no he is trying to manipulate you make you feel bad for moving on and its out of selfishness because he was happy knowing or thinking that maybe you pining for him and that's why you had not really moved on and as long as you where just dating people nothing more then he didn't have to worry about offering you anything more so if he's mad now not your problem and all you can do is say " i am sorry you cant be happy for me i really wish you could i hope you have a good year and a good life and if you feel that you can never speak to me again because of my decision then i hope you know that you really don't love me or want me back because if you did you would be happy i am happy and realize it was not meant to be for us and that you needed to move on and be happy with our friendship not punish me for moving on so i wish you the best and hope one day we can be friendly if we see each other good bye" and move on with your happiness and life good luck to you and i wish you the best i have been married to my best friend for 11 years and am more happy then i ever thought possible!
2007-01-01 09:55:07 · answer #1 · answered by peterpansdate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He had an affair so hes sorry,if he truly loved you he would not have cheated on you from the get go.Marriage, i thought was forever and its between two people that would never ever love anyone else but each other. Don't mess up your life with your fiance, your ex had his chance, get married to your best friend,who has always been there for you. Think about this if your ex did it once he will do it again.
2007-01-01 17:25:24 · answer #2 · answered by Mary O 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Continue to get on with your life. Your ex is going through the thought of someone else with you now. It is not worth jepordizing what you have now with this new man if you should decide to let your ex back into your life on a personal level.
Once your ex "scores" as in the terms that he reclaims you or your emotions; he will dump you or cheat on you again.
It's a victory or territorial thing. Your ex sounds like a child threatening to hold their breath unless they get their way. Just remember, it's not you that he is wanting back.....it's the "control" over you that he is wanting back.
Good luck and congratulations on your new fiance!
2007-01-01 17:17:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a control freak.. He wants to control your every move and emotion.It's really None of his business what you do now or who you spend time with.Tell him to take this opportunity to make a new start and leave you alone.You don't need him as a friend.You make no mention of Children so what other reason is there to have contact with him unless your not over him.In that case you should resolve those feelings before you hurt your best friend/fiance.He deserves your healed heart 100%Good luck and HAPPY NEW YEAR~!!
2007-01-01 17:36:47 · answer #4 · answered by Meemi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you kidding me??? You don't know what to do??? Do just what you said you were going to do, MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE!!! He has done the same. Sounds to me he wants his cake and be able to eat it too. Tell him to take a hike with his new girlfriend because you have found someone who will treat you with respect that he never did and still isn't. The nerve he has to get mad because you didn't call him and wish him a Happy New Year??? Tell him to get over hisself because you have and not to call you anymore!! Give him some of his own medicine. Stand up to him and take your life back. He is your EX not your "whenever he wants you ". Kick his butt to the curb. Good Luck!!
2007-01-01 17:18:13 · answer #5 · answered by Bren 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you have moved on like he did. He moved on while you two were still married with the affair, and after the divorce with his present girl friend. He has no right to be upset or to expect you to wait for him to get his head clear. His time has pasted, and you are headed for a new future with your fiance and not with him.
2007-01-01 17:39:17 · answer #6 · answered by A friend of Bill W 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to kiss off and that even a message through the family is a message to many. Get on with your life. I moved 1800 miles to get away from my ex and I feel a hell of alot better.
2007-01-01 17:17:01 · answer #7 · answered by mdlrtam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a prick, like my ex. I've been through this--I'm still going through it. I've been divorced for 3 years. My ex has been in a serious relationship for 1 year. We were keeping it on amicable terms because of our son. But when he somehow found out I had been physical with someone, all of a sudden, I was a "bad mother." He said it was different for him. What about the chick he's dating? She has kids--does that make her a bad mom? He is such a bastard--all I say to you is forget he ever existed. That is how I am trying to get through things. But because of our son, his dad will always be there. I just want no other part of him. I feel for you, love--take care, and the best of luck to you.
By the way, it's as my girlfriend says--once they've got their penis in you, they think they own you for life--don't let them!
2007-01-01 17:34:17 · answer #8 · answered by bellegurl17 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if u keep being nice to this guy then he will keep trying to worm his way back in. if he ever did get back together with u then the next day he would want something else. go and be happy. tell him u hate it that it has to be this way but that u are not his keeper anymore and maybe in the future things can be different but that for now just leave u alone and don't call. stop worring about hurting this guy. its not your problem anymore.
2007-01-01 17:25:16 · answer #9 · answered by skylinbaby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to do anything with him. Keep going on with your life. He can't take the fact that your happy and happy with someone else. Do your thang girl Love your new man don't look back at your pass life. Let his new girl worry about him. Good Luck.
2007-01-01 17:56:16 · answer #10 · answered by Htnspyc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋