I am a nurse, & finally found my 'niche' : doing HospiceCare. I'm also a single Mom of a 9-yr. old child, who has some "issues". To make a long story, short: I have been less than successful in the Love dept. before. BUT, I finally found someone that I really believed was the 'real deal'. I still believe he is. But I'm kind of pissed that he thinks his job is so much more important than mine. We make the same $$$. But I have to put my job, dreams, & life on hold, now, cuz he just got promoted to GM.
There really is a question here...LOL!
At what point do you decide to let go of love, in order to make your own dreams come true?
2007-01-01 09:03:17 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
:-)
Sorry, sunshine...I know that wasn't a very good question...It's really hard to explain. Guess I was just venting, more than asking.
No, he doesn't have to move anywhere. He just has to be gone from home (we live together) SO much more. And when he's here, & we're planning stuff, his job just always takes precedence. My job is important; and so is my son; & I thought he wanted a family. I'm willing to compromise on things for a good cause :-)...but it's just getting to where I feel like I'm not getting the same flexibility from him.
2007-01-01 09:12:28 · update #1
I am not following the problem here. Is he required to move somewhere else?
2007-01-01 09:06:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
*grasps ears and shakes head hard* I DON'T believe I'm hearing this. You cannot let him make your job and your son a secondary part of your life! You CANNOT! He needs to back off that, and fast. This is awful. I know exactly what you're talking about, and the problem is his ego. There is no such thing as an unimportant hospice care nurse! You are the people who make life bearable for a LARGE portion of the world. Your job is of major importance. What he thinks does not matter. This is YOUR life too, and your child. 86 the man before he's lost you something you value more than just a relationship! No one in the world ever said, I wish I'd spent less time with my child... I wish I'd spent less time caring for people... but there are a lot of us sitting here going... "I thought he loved me... how could he leave me for that 20-yr-old #$!@#... My kids are grown now, and all they remember is that everything was for 'dad'...where are all my friends?... does anyone care about ME?"
Bottom line, this guy is SELFISH. I have one just like him. I know. The problem is, I married him. I just moved 100 miles from my friends, a house I liked and a job I loved for HIS promotion. Now I have to figure out how to get back there, because HE isn't going to give me any of that comfort they did. And btw, his job didn't turn out to be so much of all that either - if I wasn't working part time (for the job he hated, 100 miles away!) we wouldn't have paid the rent 5 of the 8 months we've been here!
2007-01-01 09:20:56 · answer #2 · answered by Baby'sMom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am really into my job and my boyfriend really supports it. I love his support and it makes me feel that he really cares about me. I am a GM of a hotel and the job is demanding and its not that I think my job is more important (although I am sure it comes off that way) I am just way into my job and I love being good at it.
Its just part of him, support him and appreciate him for having that drive. Yes the fall back is work is first. Many times I have cancelled din-din dates and late coming home... Unfortunately that comes with the job - Its a lot of resposibility.
BUT there is light at the end of the tunnel - after a year or two~ He will become better at his job and it will be easier for him - The beginning is really hard and stressful - it will not help your relationship - if you are upset with him all the time - and whinning about him working too much. He really needs your support and if distance is support (work on your own dreams- and find ways to make it work)
As for you - Don't put your job on hold.... DO IT TOGETHER! Its hard to find someone (Its not as easy as people say - theres many fish in the sea... blah.... blah.... blah...)
2007-01-01 09:29:25 · answer #3 · answered by Helen B 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey Great Question, BUT you answered it already!
QUOTE: BUT, I finally found someone that I really believed was the 'real deal'. I still believe he is. But I'm kind of pissed that he thinks his job is so much more important than mine.
IF TRULY he is the "Right One = REAL DEAL" [and by your description he doesn't] WHY THEN - does his Job become more important THAN YOURS?
Perhaps YOU should examine what YOU are looking for? Really he does not seem like the Real Deal?
IF HE WAS, you wouldn't be "Pissed OFF!"
Just my humble Opinion?
Thanks, RR
2007-01-01 09:10:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's what's more important to you. your job (yourself and independence) or your man (love). It sounds like what is more important is your job and yourself. So I wouldn't give it up for him. I also wonder in what way you must give it up? It seems like women get "stuck" in these positions more often than men, and we succumb to the crap. But then you lose sight of yourself and your own dreams. Find a happy medium or drop him. He should be willing to put equal amounts into the relationship as you, and equal sacrifices.
2007-01-01 09:09:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've recently been where you are, and I came to the conclusion that there is a point at which sacrificing for love crosses into sacrificing your own identity.
If he loves you, he will want you to continue to be who you are, not merely an appendage to his life, an empty vessel to be filled only with those things that suit his needs.
If your own self ceases to exist, then what does he actually love?
A you that isn't really there?
Just some food for thought....
Good luck to you.
2007-01-01 09:06:30 · answer #6 · answered by x 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Never count on someone else to make your dreams come true.....their vision of your dream is not always as clear.
Although you should be able to do your job anywhere.
Sometimes you have to take a chance on love...ur er an educated guess maybe
2007-01-01 09:07:22 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
u know what honey , u got to where u r without that bozo and if he has no respect for what u have done and thinks his life is more important then u should dump his a-- and stay with the more important love in ur life, ur child
2007-01-01 09:07:35 · answer #8 · answered by Nora G 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Priorities:
Your KId=1
Your hopes and dreams=2
This male chauvinist pig=8
2007-01-01 09:09:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
LOVE IS A TWO WAY STREET! WITHOUT THAT YOU HAVE NOTHING. COMMUNICATION AND PUTTING THE OTHER PERSON FIRST IS LOVE. MY WIFE HAS MADE MANY SACRIFICES FOR ME AND I FOR HER. I WAS IN A MARRIAGE FOR A LONG TIME WITHOUT THESE THINGS. NOW THAT I AM IN ONE WITH COMPROMISE AND COMMUNICATIONS I CAN'T IMAGINE ONE WITHOUT IT !!!!! I HOPE THIS HELPS SOME. YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO REACH YOUR FULL POTENTIAL THE SAME AS HIM. P.S. NURSING IS AN HONORABLE FIELD !!!!!!!!!
2007-01-01 09:51:03 · answer #10 · answered by MAJOR JIM 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋