I have known my husband for 11 years. For 10 of those years we had been dating, and we have been married for 1 year. I am thinking of leaving, because I don`t feel that he respects me. He says the foulest of things to me when we have a disagreement, and has been doing so for 11 years. He knows it is a problem but can`t help himself.
2007-01-01 08:59:24 · 40 answers · asked by everbritelove 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I do NOT think it will displease God to leave a marriage after 1 year! The Bible teaches that God is Love. If your husband cannot have a disagreement with you, a conversation without using 4th-grade potty-mouth language, then he disrespects you and disrespects your wishes. 11 years of this! Counseling will not help; sorry but he is stuck in the 4th grade for life. The foundation of respect is appreciation. Obviously, he has never had that, does not now have that, and never will have that for you. Sadly, the next steps you can expect in your relationship is abuse, both verbally and physically. Then comes cheating. There is no question he will cheat on you, maybe he already has. He probably has felt for a long time that any other woman would be better for him than you. So, if someone has or is thinking of cheating on you, they surely will, and THAT is a Biblical justification for divorce. You need to find a man that appreciates you, right from the start. Then he will love you, right from the start. On that you can build respect, trust, friendship, and LOVE.
On what you have right now, you can't build anything on that because you can't build anything on a crumbled foundation. How many contractors would continue to try to constuct a structure on a crumbled foundation for 11 days, let alone 11 years? Losing you could be the best thing that ever happens to him, because it MIGHT be the one way he learns by a hard lesson that he needs to change. I believe in my heart that God never created us to stay in bad relationships where we suffer every day.
2007-01-01 10:19:58 · answer #1 · answered by gabriel3791 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he had already been disrepecting you for 10 years, why on earth did you ever marry him in the first place??
Leave him.. you finally wised up and realize that: 1) you deserve better and 2) you don't need him and his crap!
"He knows it is a problem but can`t help himself" That is the statement of a victim. He is a victim of his own emotions and he is trying to drag you down with him. By leaving you will be doing a service to him as well as yourself.
The God I know is only displeased when you run away from Him. If you are deeply spiritual or religious, I hope you will pray about this before making your final decision. God wants what is best for you, and this man is clearly NOT good for you to have in your life.
Peace.
2007-01-01 09:15:57 · answer #2 · answered by not yet 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
would god want you to be unhappy? which you obviously are. as you have discovered marrying him wasnt the best of ideas. no person will change after they put a wedding ring on so its foolish of us to think so or believe so however your not the first person to discover this nor will you be the last. if you want to leave do so but tell him exactly how you feel. leave nothing out. now is your time for truth. 11 years of your life were wasted on a spiteless and vindictive man. good luck and i hope you have a happier year this year than you have for the last 11.
2007-01-01 10:12:32 · answer #3 · answered by lizard 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your question depends on how you see god. I for example believe that god is a loving thing and therefore if I am unhappy and take steps to change that I don't see why he would find it disrespectful.
Staying in a bad marriage isn't healthy and having a man put you down all the time can cause a lot of mental problems. If he is not willing to get help for himself then you need to leave.
I must admit i find it silly that he has treated you like this and you still married him.
Best of luck
2007-01-01 09:16:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try getting help. You have a lot of years invested in this relationship. You were together for ten years, and only married for one. Why did you stay so long, but now that you're married you want to end it? It doesn't make sense. If your husband knows that what he is doing is wrong then maybe you can still work things out.
2007-01-01 09:06:14 · answer #5 · answered by mamabear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Bible isn't specific about what constitutes marriage in God's eyes. It's culturally dependent. You need to shut off the computer and get some real, personal counseling. Whether or not you are legally or spiritually married is irrelevant. You need someone who can counsel you both legally and spiritually. Obviously you're not doing a good job of making decisions on your own. You need someone to come alongside and help.
2016-05-23 03:54:42 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, you are just leaving him and not devorcing him. Maybe he will realize things and come to his senses when you are no longer around for him and if he really loves you he will try his best to change and get you back again and if not he really wants you to make the decision to get over your relationship. Sometimes. we all say the foulest thing when we are mad and not really mean it. Or he was raised up with the wrong kind of breeding and disrespect runs in his family.
2007-01-01 09:20:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not sure why you married a man who has been saying foul things to you for 11 years. But if you want to leave, then God, who sees and knows all, will understand.
2007-01-01 09:14:35 · answer #8 · answered by Caroline 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
only you can decide what you want to do, it makes no difference if you have been married for 1 year or 25. i dont mean to sound rude, but if hubby has been like this for 11 years, why did you get married, would it have been easier to stay living together without the ring?
my hubby says terrible things to me when he is stressed, but i put it down to him stressed and having nobody else to take his tantrum out on, all men get mardy, as do women, we tend to hurt the people closest to us not realising how upsetting it is. Is your hubby fine with you generally or constantly nagging at you, if he is constantly nagging/moaning/saying hurtful things then he probably is not the right person for you, im sure you deserve better.
Either way only you can decide whats best for you, we all say foul things in the heat of the moment from time to time
2007-01-01 09:06:56 · answer #9 · answered by zeldieuk2002 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would like to think that god would want you to be happy.
You have been with your husband in a relationship for along time. If this has always been a problem then you have obviously been trying to make it work for just as long a time.
If you love eachother and want to save your marriage maybe you could give counselling a try.
Talk to eachother, why does he say horrible things? Where do they come from?
Good luck to you both.
2007-01-01 09:06:05 · answer #10 · answered by katyllou 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋