Son had ATV accident with partial spinal cord injury. Big life decisions coming up and i'd appreciate input.

Question

Son fractured C5, is now a quadraplegic. Can walk with difficulty but lost use of right arm and fine motor skills. I've stayed with him since the accident (June 18/06). I took a leave of absence from work and its been 6 months now. If i return to work i have to pay someone to drive him to appointments and stay in the house and prepare meals etc. any monies i earn will be paid out to person. If i stay home i dont earn anything. Unemployment insurance only lasts 6 months and then no income. I'm scared and dont know what to do. I was supposed to get attendant care but i dont trust the lawyer and my husband doesnt want to change law firms because he says they're all the same and i believe him. I'd prefer to stay home because he now is developing nightmare and behaviours. He's going through his stages of grief, etc. his friends are supportive but its still difficult for him. He's 15. anyone has similar experiences? how did you deal with it? what should i look into?

We're in Ontario Canada. I applied for disability for him and i get $400 a month which really helps. We dont have any other benefits available to my knowledge. We dont qualify for social assistance because my husband works, even though its seasonally. Hospital case worker doesn't know of any other programs unfortunately. quadriplegia means loss of use of 4 extremeties. He was originaly paralysed from the neck down and couldn't swallow. He's got limited range of motion and lost all fine motor skills in all extremeties. He does have loss in all four extremeties, his left side moves but he cant do his activities of daily living without help.

We're in Ontario Canada. I applied for disability for him and i get $400 a month which really helps. We dont have any other benefits available to my knowledge. We dont qualify for social assistance because my husband works, even though its seasonally. Hospital case worker doesn't know of any other programs unfortunately. quadriplegia means loss of use (not necessarily paralysis) of 4 extremeties. He was originaly paralysed from the neck down and couldn't swallow. He's got limited range of motion and lost all fine motor skills in all extremeties. He just barely walks-not like you or me. He hobbles/wobbles and uses a wheelchair and forearm crutches. He does have loss in all four extremeties, his left side moves but he cant do his activities of daily living without help. He's lost his sensation of pressure, hot and cold so he can burn or break something without knowing it. I hope this information helps

Answer 1

I work in the health services and the saying we have here is 'whoever shouts loudest, gets'. Basically, you've been told you're not entitled to anything from social services but I doubt that's true if you pushed and pushed hard. I'm not sure how it works in Canada but your son should have either a paediatric community laison nurse or a district nurse and she's the one you go to for advice in fighting for your son's rights.

You need to start writing letters to the health authority and social services, demanding support for your son and start dropping terms like 'you'll be seeking legal advice' and this goes against his human rights that you've been left to cope alone. Get your local press involved if you have to. However, I do know that people who sit back and accept no help won't get any help whereas those who fight, will get at least some support. You need to start now, while your son is probably still in paediatric care, as it's harder to get support when he's in adult services since the onus falls more on him to fight for his rights.

Secondly, both you and him need support from other families in your situation. See if there is a support group in your area for families with disabled teenagers (ask at the hospital or at the social work department). That way, he will be able to speak to people of his own age who understand what he's going through.

Thirdly, see if there is some sort of respite centre in the surrounding area where your son can go to give you both some down time. Also, find out if there are other treatments available out there to help his mobility. Again, this should be something you can find out at the hospital.

About the lawyer, is there a citizen's advice service in Canada? This would be the best place to start for some free advice on changing lawyers to someone who is reputable.

Answer 2

You an apply to Social Security for disability for him at any age. This money he receives(which will take at least 6 months to start once he is approved) will defray the cost of you going back to work. ALSO, once on disability he will be eligible for medicare(YES, YOU CAN get this at any age with disability) that will pay medical bills and/or rehab services including home assistance. The sooner you apply, the sooner it will start. ALSO, if/when he is approved you will get "Back" money due from the time you applied. In other words, if he is awarded let's say 600 a month, after the initial waiting period for the regular monthly check to arrive, you will get a lump sum of 3600 (600 x 6 months). If in future he is able to work either in whole or in part, it can be adjustd accordingly. GOD BLESS ..... APPLY TODAY In the meantime, you should be able to get some help from your local Welfare or County Assistance office till the Social Security is approved. (If you have such a thing in your state.) They can also help with medical bills regardless of income in some cases, especially for dependant children. CALL THEM TOO AFTER SOCIAL SECURITY...What you will be applying for in his case is called Supplemental Security Income (SSI) IF for some reason you are denied, have your attorney fight his case. An attorney will win it for you at least 99% of the time. I don't see this happenning though in this case. Some cases that are QUESTIONABLE are turned down and you can re-apply, but this sounds cut and dried. (He isn't faking an injury to get money)

Answer 3

Are you in the United States? If you are, then your son qualifies for Social Security Disability. You need to apply at once because it will pay from the time the claim was filed even if it takes a long time for him to get it. He will also get Medicaid too. They will pay him a monthly check and the Medicaid may even pay for the in home health care. If you are in the States please apply right away. It could be all the help you need.

Answer 4

I know in America we have special agencies that work with people such as your son.
You need support right now. Be pushy. Keep calling the social Worker. Talk to Pastors or Rabbis or whatever religion is one you trust, & ask them where you can go.
You will eventually burn out if you keep taking care of him yourself. I, myself, work in an agency for Developmentally Disabled individuals & it is a wearisome job. Gratifying, but wearisome.
What if you go back to work & hire a part-time helper/aide for your son; someone who can check on him to help with some basic stuff like bathing, cooking, etc?
There IS help, as long as you keep looking. Take your vitamins; get your rest & keep your chin up.
You're a loving Mother & he's lucky to have you. Bless you.

Answer 5

First off if he can walk some he is not a qaudraplegic as that indicates paralysis of all 4 limbs aka both legs and both arms. SInce he is disabled he is entitled to disablilty so if he hasn't applied for it yet that is the first thing you need to do. In the meantime talk to the social worker who dealt with his case when he was in the hospital and he/she can help you find the help and care that you need as well telling you how to apply for benefits for him etc.

Answer 6

Try to find support groups for families and patients affected by spinal cord injuries. The members of the group will have answers for you, including social, rehabilitation, and psychological services. The rehab center where he got his therapy is a resource for finding such groups, as physical and occupational therapists know of such things.
Because you live in Canada, and I'm in the US, I don't know what social services are available.

Answer 7

Sorry to hear about your son's accident. If you live in the U.S you can contact the nearest Independant Living Center for assistance for his personal care needs. There are programs available to assist in this area of need. Go on line and type in Independant Living center of what ever state you live in. They may also be able to help you with any adaptive equipment he may need. Good Luck.

Answer 8

PRAY ! and believe me it works. I had a terrible intestinal disease and there was no cure. People started praying for me and I was healed completely.
THE POWER OF PRAYER IS MIGHTY !
and the Lord is in the business of answering prayers and healing people.

I have said a prayer for your son and I hope you will pray on a regular basis and have your son pray also...."trust me it works".

If I was you I would stay home with him and try to get help from from social services or the local community maybe.

There has to be someone who can lead you in the right direction, ask questions, talk to people and see if anyone can lead you in the right direction. There are organisations out there that will help you, but its up to you to seek them out.

Good Luck and God Bless you & your family.
I will continue to keep you in prayer and I will also have others help pray
(I hope you don't mind)...please let me know the improvements that you have seen after these prayer warriers have been praying for you, your son and this situation.

Answer 9

Your son is more important than any of those issues, your husband can take on a second job or you can check in to jobs online. 15 he needs you and his dad to get him through this very hard time in his life.

Answer 10

You don't say where your located. In America you would contact Social Security Services. Best of luck to you!!