i met a woman jan 06 in 47 and she is 53, when we first met the sex was great (no inhabitions), but i later found out that she had been consumed alcohol before we would meet, and that without alcohol she says that she can not relax and let herself enjoy sex the way it was in the beginning. i have tried the baths, back rubs, massages, but without the alcohol she is right, she does not get excited. i believe that if two people love each other that should be all it takes to get excited in the bedroom and quite frankly i think that at her age she is not into sex and she just wants someone to be with. she says that she loves me and i love her but good sex is very important to me.has anyone ever had to deal with this and if so what did u do, cuz quite frankly this bothers me and im about to the point of leaving. i do not want a gilrfriend that has to get drunk to screw me. she only sees me 3-4 days a month due to my job but we talk several times a day. she has went thru menopause
2007-01-01 08:40:16 · 12 answers · asked by keithy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My husband seams to always be drinking when we have sex maybe there is something wrong with the both of us. He acts as if it is no big deal but it bothers me too so I know how you feel
2007-01-01 09:42:14 · answer #1 · answered by kd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Menopause does slow a woman's sex drive down quite a bit. Biological she no longer can have children so sex is not needed either.
But woman can and often do enjoy sex with the right partner well up into their 70's and 80's. So the most important thing is to understand what attraction is. For a woman to truly want sex with you she must be attracted to you. This is over and above love. You can love someone but not be attracted to them.
Attraction is not a choice. It is something inside us all that makes us recognize something that just does it for us.
Having said all that for her to need alcohol in order to sleep with you says a lot. What you need to know before you continue this relationship is what in her background has caused this. It is highly unluckily that she has had this problem all her life. Something made her fear going to bed and it makes no difference that she loves you.
My advice to you is work that out. Do not let it go hoping that marriage will make it better. It only will be worse even though she may not need the alcohol then.
You must resolve this or walk away. If you don't you must settle for this for as long as your with her. Not a good thing.
2007-01-01 17:39:08 · answer #2 · answered by John B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HSee if she'll talk to her doctor about it, I'm sure there are options. Female sexual dysfunction is starting to be recognized as a real issue. If she gets help, you will need a lot of time and patience to work through it and if you love her you will stand by her side while she is making an effort. If she will not seek help and it bothers you that bad, leave and find someone who fulfills you, you're not married.
2007-01-01 16:49:41 · answer #3 · answered by lookinforanswers 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she hasn't taken care of a sexual dysfunction by the time she's 53 she's not going to. If she has an alcohol problem she may be using the sexual dysfunction as a way to get you to accept her drinking. Alcoholics are a cagey bunch. I say move on sweetie.
2007-01-01 16:58:32 · answer #4 · answered by mjm52 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A hormone supplement to balance out her fluctuations due to menopause will do the trick. Have her get a complete physical including blood work to check hormone levels.
2007-01-01 17:05:47 · answer #5 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The truth be told, she needs alcohol just to get through each day. Is that the type of g/f you want?
2007-01-01 17:07:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on or get her help through Alcoholics Anonymous.
2007-01-01 16:45:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
many women lose interest in sex after menopause with the chemical imbalance that it creates. she need to talk to her doctor about it there are medications that can help the situation.
2007-01-01 17:00:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not her Age, its since she needs alcohol to lower her inhibitions regarding sex, she's probably a "drunk".
2007-01-01 16:47:04 · answer #9 · answered by sweet sue 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ask her to consider anti-anxiety medicine. I think she shouldn't have to be drunk to do you. Drunk? Who does she think she is doing? Johnny Depp? Who knows what she's thinking when she's with you intimately? Ask her to consider other options and if she says no....leave.
2007-01-01 16:44:33 · answer #10 · answered by Michelle M 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋