I live with a male friend. She lives with her boyfriend and is now pregnant. How do I go about getting a divorce in N.J., and are there any things I should look out for or be aware of? I assume this will be uncontested and would like to do it as easy and as cheap as I can. I do not wanna waste any more time, money, or effort on her so any advice, help, or suggestions would be appreciated and welcomed. Thanks.
2007-01-01 08:07:46 · 28 answers · asked by keith n 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Get an attorney and a divorce...
2007-01-01 08:45:34 · answer #1 · answered by stone196606 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keith, I will not encourage you to divorce in any way because that is not for me to decide, but I will say this. You are going thru a very difficult time in your life right now. Seek professional advice first and carefully evaluate your situation so that your decision can be thorough and there will be no recourse to it.
Divorce is a terrible time for anyone having to go through that. Some people that have gone through uncontested divorce normally go to probate court and and ask for the forms which have to be filled out and then submitted with a small fee like $80.00 something like that and then it is over if the spouse agrees no contest.
Anyhow, I wish you the best in your decision and I am truly sorry you must experience this, but I am married now 24 years and I recently it has gotten better and it looks like were in together for life despite all my errors and infidelities, I survived straightened up and she is still here working with me so i am lucky to have her and so should be in your case, but do what you must do it is your decison. What if she decides she wants to stay with you and come back home? Would you accpet her and the child? You never know what might prevail and it is you as a MAn that would have to makie those decisons as well. Always expect the unexpected. Good Luck
2007-01-01 08:28:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Given your comment that you don't want to waste any more time, money or effort on her, I'd suggest you initiate efforts to contact a lawyer ASAP, so you can get some information on divorce laws for NJ. I know here in PA, you can get file and be divorced - based on it being uncontested - in 90 days and it will set you back around $300. Speaking from experience, it might be an issue, if she attempts to claim the child she's pregnant with is yours. Again, something you want to consult with your attorney on. In my case, my "wife" and I have been separated for almost four years now. We lead very separate lives under very separate roofs. She has a BF; has been with him since April 2003, when we split up. At this point she's got two kids with him -2 and one-half years old and 13 months old. In my case, we've agreed to be amicable towards one another. Six months after the birth of each of her boys, I was notified by the Commonwealth that she had a child while still married and reported someone other than me (her "husband") was the father. In each case, I let the state list her BF as the father on the baby's birth certificate. In this case, I have no legal responsibility for either child. In our case, I refuse to file for divorce because I believe we let our marriage break apart for the wrong reasons and it's a matter of principle at this time. She knows I'll sign off immediately when she files, but it's not going to be me. And yes, I date regularly and am leading my own life without her in it.
2007-01-01 09:32:36 · answer #3 · answered by wvngseeking 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1 - File for divorce as soon as possible. This is usually done at your local courthouse. They will have the papers you will need to sign, and the can most likely arrange for them to be served to her. There will be fees involved, but you have to get things moving.
2 - Document when she moved out, if at all possible. This may be important should she try to claim child support from you.
3 - Get a lawyer. Tomorrow. A decent attorney will make sure you have all points covered, so she cannot make claims against you in the future. This will be money well spent, even if the divorce is not contested. Do not go for the easiest or cheapest way. It could come back to haunt you later.
2007-01-01 09:08:49 · answer #4 · answered by sandyblondegirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just went through a divorce representing myself. If you can afford an attorney, get one. If not it takes a lot of time and research, but it can be done yourself. States vary on laws and rules regarding divorce. Some states are "at fault" and some are "no fault". My state is "no fault", meaning the only requirement for getting a divorce is that one party wants one. But in your case, I believe her infidelity would get you the divorce regardless, lol. I know in my state you can still get a divorce even if the wife is pregnant but the paternity can be challenged up to two years after the divorce. I know someone that this happened to and all he had to do was sign an affidavit saying that even though he was married to the woman he was giving up his right to paternity (He couldn't get a divorce prior to that since he couldn't find her and had no way to contact her). Here is the website for your state so you can do some research on your own and figure out what to do. Hope this helps and good luck!
2007-01-01 08:47:16 · answer #5 · answered by emerald_angel_queen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This could be a good thing if you want to dump her.
1. If she's is pregnant and the two of you had not legally separated, you might be able to get her on an adultery charge (the child proves she was having sex outside of your marriage). Valid grounds for divorce.
2. If you can prove there was an affair (pretty obvious) and you make more money than her it could be justification for you not being required to pay alimony (a costly burden to say the least).
You need to engage a barrister (lawyer) and find out EXACTLY what rights, obligations and loopholes you can use to your advantage.
Obviously, you both don't want to be with each other so you need to position yourself so you won't be taken to the cleaners.
2007-01-01 11:19:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What were you waiting for?? Get er done...........now! A paternity test would exclude you from being the father, so don't worry about that part of it. There are all kinds of legal services available to you, just do some checking, look in your phone book. It shouldn't cost an arm and a leg for an uncontested divorce, but I wouldn't go as far as to represent myself. You need a professional to help you, just in case. Good luck to you.
2007-01-01 10:05:29 · answer #7 · answered by ksgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can go to a document service. They prepare and serve the other person for you. Its cheaper than a lawyer. If you have no kids, it will be easier..If she is already living with another man and is pregnant by the other guy..she has legally given up all rights to what you have and she can not claim alomony against you since another man is supporting her.
This sounds like everything would be in your favor. I'm in CA and no matter what a divorce insist on a 6 month wait for it to be finalized by a judge.
2007-01-01 08:21:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make an outline of what you want to happen for your attorney. Be willing to bend more than you can imagine and get things moving, otherwise it will take years and the cost just gets bigger with no results. Move as fast as you can so that when your wife's life begins to crumble, she doesn't come after you in an immoral manner. Get a cost estimate from your attorney and ask him what is the fastest divorce he/she has ever done and what steps were taken to accomplish that result. Keep a journal of everything just in case, including what your wife has/is doing.
2007-01-01 09:01:55 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Regardless of any information you find on the Internet you will need a lawyer to process the divorce and go to trial for you.
While there may be a cheaper way around it I don't think you can bypass the lawyer so you might as well byte the bullet and find one. The sooner the better. This is not something to put off.
2007-01-01 08:22:15 · answer #10 · answered by John B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are you lazy, do you have a job? Why would you wait so long to get a divorce....after she left you, did you think she was going to run back to you? I don't mean to be rude about it. But why would you come on to Yahoo and ask such a dumb question. Get an attorney or get the book and fill out the papers yourself. Simple as that. No matter what it is still going to cost you some money.
2007-01-01 08:15:41 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋