Is there some way to protect yourself from liers?
2007-01-01 08:07:29 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Rebuilding trust after being lied to is very difficult...unless you're talking about some small matter (like, who ate the last of the cheese in the fridge?)
If it's a serious matter...(No way! What ME spend the night with that loser???) and you find out differently...that the person you trusted did, in fact , lie to you, it's going to take some time to learn to trust him or her again.
And you shouldn't just jump back into the same sort of relationship you had with this person to begin with, i.e.,just naturally trusting everything that is said to you. You need to wait and watch to see if it will happen again.
Some people seem to lie with the same ease they satisfy an itch, and they lie for all sorts of reasons...or for none at all!
Most people are not like this and they will lie to avoid the consequences of having done something they know is wrong or that was hurtful to you.
But it's still lying..it's still unacceptable, it's still hurtful to you.
The kind of person who lies all the time can't be changed and you should not stay with this person (unless, of course, it's a relative or member of the immediate family...then you learn to not put too much stock in anything he or she says)
If the person,however, lied to cover up something he or she did that would cause you pain...you need to ask yourself first: Why?
I'm not saying that there's any good reason to lie but it might be useful to you to find out if it was a one time thing or if it's been going on for some time..
Someone who would lie to you repeatedly does not care about your feelings whatsoever and does not deserve to have your company...whether this is a friend, OR a relative...relatives can be avoided most of the time,if this is the case.
The lie might be about more than what happened that one time..it might mean that there's a crack in your relationship...if you can discuss this in a calm (or NEAR calm) manner with the liar, perhaps you can find out if that person wants to end the relationship, or is unsatisfied with the way the relationship is progressing and is acting out..then covering up.
There MIGHT be a way to repair things if this is the case..but as with all things worthwhile, it won't be easy.
I hope that you will be able to work things out with whoever lied to you and caused you to be unhappy..but keep your options and y our eyes open...one lie might be forgiven..but beyond that...it's time to bail out.
2007-01-01 08:24:10 · answer #1 · answered by blinderhof 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nobody tells the truth all the time. Trust is never an absolute when it comes to human interaction. The appropriate statement would be that "I can trust this person most of the time" Trust develops over time with close interpersonal interaction. If a person habitually lies you will see through it and can make the choice to confront, insist on a change or cease the relationship.
2007-01-01 17:36:58 · answer #2 · answered by SunFun 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first time you meet someone you trust them that is a gift you give to them. When they break that trust, then they must earn it from that point on and in most cases, it takes seven years for you to completely trust them again. If in that time they break the trust issue again. You may or will not trust them again. The choice is yours, but everyone has a built in radar and a different point spread so to speak for issues. Most people give everyone three chances. If in such a case where the count is three one will turn their back on the person, and just be as casual or not even have anything to do with that person again. It is for self protection. Your instinct lite gones on and reads 'Warning Danger' and you will walk away...........
2007-01-01 16:47:39 · answer #3 · answered by twentyeight7 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry but once I caught someone in a lie, I would have a hard time believing them. It would depend on how good and practiced they were when they told you the lie and I would watch and note if you heard them lie to others. I know I'm unforgiving on this, but once trust is broken, I am gone!
2007-01-01 16:11:41 · answer #4 · answered by Dovey 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is noway to protect your self from liers..they are all around us..you lie sometimes,and i do too(don't tell me you don't!!)..nobody is perfect..you can't just stop trusting someone because he had lied to you once..give him/her a chance..but i guess you should be more carefull with that person so you won't get hurt without showing that to him/her of course..
2007-01-01 16:16:52 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People always have, and always will lie. what matters is if it is a Big lie or a little white lie, and how often they tell them.
Confront the person about it, and have them explain themself. If they regret it, and are apologetic give them another chance.
2007-01-01 16:15:22 · answer #6 · answered by ladyjeansntee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most of the time NO. But always depends on the situation and giving someone a second opportunity. It really depends on you and hurt are you. I hope it helps !!!
2007-01-01 16:10:03 · answer #7 · answered by icecool_oh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's a little white lie yes and if it's big one word: NO!
2007-01-01 16:55:42 · answer #8 · answered by Trinity 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is relevant to your situation, after all who wont lie at one particular time or another.to lie is human. just as long as it is not pathological
2007-01-01 16:13:06 · answer #9 · answered by ace 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i always believe in giving others a 2nd chance, being humble goes a long way sometimes. (disclaimer: there is a limit to it of course!!!)
2007-01-01 16:11:34 · answer #10 · answered by r 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋