I am 22 years old. I was raped in the building I live in. I did not know they guy, he is now in jail.I am strongly against abortion. Also I am financially able to take care of a baby. I know it will be hard to deal with the fact that my baby came from rape if I do continue the pregnancy. But I'm sure it might be just as hard to know that I killed my child. What are your opinions on this situation?
2007-01-01 08:02:30 · 41 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
This is a question only you can answer.
2007-01-01 08:14:38 · answer #1 · answered by Nunya M 4 · 6⤊ 1⤋
Well, I think it might be hard to keep the baby due to the situation. However, if you are able to remove the baby from who the father is, knowing that the baby is a different person, maybe you could do it. But, to have had such a horrible thing happen to you, the baby may be a constant reminder of what happened.
If you are against abortion, I say that you don't have one.You have already been through a traumatic experience, and having an abortion is very hard emotionally. Besides that, if you go against your beliefs, then it will just be more stress on your spirit.
I think you should consider adoption. There are so many couples out there who can't have a baby, but would be really good parents. Also, by giving the baby for adoption, you will be taking something very negative and turning it into something very positive. You will give a family a gift, and not have to go against your beliefs. Adoption agencies are really good these days. You can pick the family and you can decide how much or how little you want to see the baby after it is born.
Whatever you decide, I hope you find peace and healing after your experience.
2007-01-01 08:16:14 · answer #2 · answered by joleiey 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
If you are strongly against abortion, don't do it. Abortion, while a woman's choice completely, is irreversible.
If you are financially able to care for the baby, you may want to consider that. There may be a reason that the rape, as sad as it is, resulted in a child, and it could be the positive, light at the end of the tunnel. If you really think that it will be hard to deal with the fact that the baby came from rape, please see a therapist's help and see if you can work through it.
If you really don't think that you can't handle the fact that the baby came from rape, and you've consulted a licensed therapist, adoption is always an option. You can get an open adoption where you are able to visit and see the child.
Bottom line, no matter what you choose, you will have to deal with that decision for the rest of your life. Think it through and do what feels right to you.
2007-01-01 17:57:27 · answer #3 · answered by Lilly Jones-Fair 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I am very, very, sorry for what happened to you. I don't know what to say to you. I'm just so sorry.
I can only imagine being in your situation, and all the pain you must be going through. I offer you a hug, and many prayers for you to be able to over come this.
As for the having an abortion. I think that it would mean additional trauma for you. You've gone through a lot already. Especially considering the fact that you are having doubts. Like you said, "it might be just as hard to know that I killed my child".
I think that in the end, you must do what your heart tells you to do. If having this child, makes it to hard, there is always adoption. Then the child who is innocent, has a chance to live a good life. (It's hard, but he is also part of you).
My best suggestion is that you continue with counseling through out the pregnancy, and after wards. This way you can have support for whatever choice you make.
God bless you, may he help you through theses troubling times.
Love you, and big hug!
2007-01-04 10:00:47 · answer #4 · answered by Belix 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yahoo answers is not the place to resolve a question like this, is there any member of the family or a good friend you can talk to about this?
I would just like to suggest your other option, which is have the baby (as you are against abortion) but put it up for adoption (as you may not be able to care for it best if you have an issue with the fact it is the result of the rape).
This is a very simplisitc suggestion which doesn't take account of the fact that once the baby is born you may completelty change your mind and want to keep it etc. But it is an option I think you should consider.
You can always ask your doctor if there is a counseling service etc. or even look on the internet fot the numbers of charities such as samaritans who have someone who will discuss the issue in confidence with you.
Good luck
2007-01-01 08:12:36 · answer #5 · answered by pinkfudge27 4 · 7⤊ 0⤋
well i am sorry to hear that you were raped i am sure that is hard to deal with on top of the fact now your pregnant,but i do think you might really want to stop and consider how you will feel if you give birth to a child that was conceived because of rape,i know you want to do the right thing and that you are against abortion,but you have to do what is best for you,and if that means abortion,then you should,but it is not for me or anyone else to tell you what you should do,but you should stop and think how you would feel about looking at a child everyday knowing the father was a rapist,plus you have to think about the fact that every time you see your baby would it remind you of what happened to you,and would you be able to get over that,but you could always give the baby up for adoption,there are so many people who would love to adopt a healthy baby,plus you wouldn't have to feel bad about anything..
2007-01-01 12:31:15 · answer #6 · answered by brandis220 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, you are sure in a hard situation.
That man is a criminal. But, it is not the baby's fault that it exists, and it does not deerve to die for the crime of it's father.
You can keep the baby, and raise it lovingly. Or, if you think it really will be hard to know that your baby came from a rape, why don't you adot it out. That will take a lot of love to do, and you may not have contact with the baby.
But, you will be giving your baby a chance at life, and giving a barren couple the chance to raise a child. Why not?
I don't know if you aarea Christain or not, but in the Bible, God says, " I formed you in your mother's womb. I knew you and loved you before you were born". This baby would already have been worked into His wonderful and marvelous plan. He already loves this baby, and he loves you too. He wouldn't throw anything at you that you couldn't handle. He will help you through.
Once, I went to a seminar about waiting until marriage to have sex. That lady was the daughter of a rapist. Her mother was a 15 year old from Michigan when it happened. She decided that her baby would not die for the crime of it's father. She adopted her baby out, which took a lot of love for her to do. Today, she travels all over the world, giving seminars about sex before marriage. She has made an amazing difference in young people's morale, and is highly successful.You can find out about her at www.straighttalk.com. Her name is Pam.
Maybe your baby will do the same.
2007-01-03 11:54:53 · answer #7 · answered by Andalusian Lover 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If it was me I'd keep the baby. Though the baby was produced in the way it was ultimatley the baby is part of you. Just make sure get conseuling to deal with the rape itself. You and the baby will be fine. The child is a blessing that resulted from a bad situation. If you need someone to talk to I'm always available. forever_taken_by_papi on yahoo.
2007-01-01 09:07:11 · answer #8 · answered by jewell2578 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i always said that i would only have an abortion if i was ever raped. but now that my b/f and i had our son i would in this situiation say given the baby up for adoption. only because i would be afraid i would never be able to see that child and not be reminded where it came from. i would rather give someone who really wants a child the chance to raise my baby. the greatest gift a women who does not want to raise a baby can do is give nthe baby a chance of a life where someone really want it.
but i also think sometimes we are given diffcult desions in our lives because they help build us into stronger people.
the only thing i would ask myself is
1. will what happen effect my love toward a child a product of rape
2. what is best for this baby.
3. what is best mentaly for you.
if you ndecide to keep mthis baby have you recived theraphy because mental is just as hurtful as physical
so in my opoion as a mother i would give the baby up for adoption only because i could not rob a child of life just because i could not deal with a sitiuation.
but if you decide to have an abortion i don't think this makes you a bad person you made thebest desion for you
and if you decided to keep this baby
then with enough love and happy people around the baby then i belive a person will be happy
whatever you decide i would strongley recommend theraphy a trama or a therpist who deals with rape and women trama is good way you could also try talking to a therpist and they could help you with your desion
good luck my prays are with you
2007-01-01 08:28:42 · answer #9 · answered by ~*big mama *~ 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I feel very sorry for you. Unfortunately, I'm afraid nobody can tell you what you have to do. You are the only one who can and must decide.
Of course, this baby will always remind you about this rape. But when the baby's born, you will have felt it growing inside of you during all the pregnancy and you'll feel natural attachment to it. After, you will see this little being full of life, who only wants to grow. This baby will bring you lots of joy, you would miss in aborting.
But I guess you've already taken your decision : you say you are strongly against abortion, an secondly, you say you are financially able to take care of a baby. So I think you'll continue the pregnancy. It is very courageous.
I do wish you good luck. God bless you.
2007-01-01 08:34:47 · answer #10 · answered by Katioucha Maslova 7 · 4⤊ 2⤋
Hi,
I too was raped and got pregnant so I know what you were going through.In my opinion I truly believe you should keep your baby.Although your baby was created from rape your child is still part of you.I was raped by six different people one time it was once with 5 people.I now have six kids my first being born when I was 11 years old.I am now 17 and enjoy and cherish all of my beloved children.You can still find peace and happiness with your child.I wish you the best of luck.
2007-01-01 23:25:39 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋