Over Christmas, a friend that I have known for over a year came to town. Since he was visiting his homophobic family, he told them he was arriving later than he did, so we could spend a night together.
He stayed in town for almost a week, and we saw each other most every day.
Now, he has returned home, and I get a text message yesterday saying that he can't get me off his mind.
He lives about 3 hours away, and he knows that I am thinking about relocating (and if I do relocate, I can go anywhere I find a decent job).
When he was here we had talked about a lot of things, and he said that he didn't really want to get involved in a relationship, but would like to have someone to date. Did he just say this because he knows that I am not wanting to rush into a relationship because my last relationship was such a disaster?
I'd like to know what other people make of this situation. If you are just going to spew some pro-Christian propaganda, save your effort.
Thanks!
2007-01-01 07:40:20 · 10 answers · asked by ramman 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Thank you to those who have responded so far.
*** Additional comment: My relocating has nothing to do with this guy***
2007-01-01 08:03:11 · update #1
First off, it is possible that een if you are botyh ready for a relationship, possibly the short time span you have been able to be together doesn't prepare you for one with each other. Then again maybe it does but the only way to find out is to be together more and openly discuss your feelings and what you would like to have from a relationship. Yea, I know it is hard to hold off sometimes but openly talking and being honest with each other is far better than rushing into a living together thing that becomes a disaster when you spend all your time picking up his dirty socks and underwear or vice versa.
On the other hand, there definitely seems to be a mutual interest and attraction and we all know a good man is hard to find so just maybe it is worth takign a few chances to find out if things could be good for the two of you. Since you are free to find a good job and relocate, spend some time checking things out in his locality. If there is a good opportunity then consider taking it if everythign else is good. And while you are job hunting there, spend time together on dates, talking, and whatever else you two like to do togehter. That way, maybe by the time you are ready to move to start work, you will be both of a mind to share hearth and home. Or maybe you will still be workgin through the dating phases but at least if that is wher eit stands you will be closer so it won't be a 6 hour commute for a cup of coffee together.
2007-01-01 08:19:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He may be trying to start a relationship with you, but not sure if he ready to "face the music" with his family. If you have feelings for him then I would say for now stay put where you are and do start dating him. (3 hours is not that too far away) See where you lives lead and in a couple of months, sit down and think about it and list the pros and cons and go from there.
2007-01-01 07:48:21 · answer #2 · answered by aimeramy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit down and talk to your friend. You can't read his mind and you shouldn't make decisions based on what complete strangers think. You both need to have an honest heart to heart conversation. Three hours is not very far away. Plan to meet for coffee or dinner and talk about things. Only then will you know what to do. He may have initially been truthful with you, he may just be looking for a sexual partner without the commitment.
Once you have both talked about your feelings to one other you may be able to figure things out.
Good luck to you!
2007-01-01 08:09:36 · answer #3 · answered by Mary R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has he invited you to move in with him yet? Or are you thinking about it? My advice - for what it's worth - is to take your time and see where your relationship with your friend is headed. Maybe if the two of you had such a good time together, both of you might want to talk about where this friendship is headed - and where you both want it to go.
2007-01-01 08:41:10 · answer #4 · answered by dmspartan2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't rush into anything. Moving closer to him is a big deal. If it is meant to be, meet half-way between the two of you and date for awhile.
He very well might want to date you. So date. Hold off on relocating.
2007-01-01 07:51:54 · answer #5 · answered by Jude M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't rush into anything to fast, but you should just take it slow and easy. Just think about relocating, things will turn out good.
2007-01-01 08:48:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long have you known him sexually? Do you believe him when he says he doesn't want a relationship?(or why do you suppose he would lie about that?)...don't move yet. Why doesn't he relocated? sorry too many unanswered questions here for me to give much of an opinion...
2007-01-01 07:53:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Never mind the practicalities, how do you feel about him? That alone should be your guide in what to do.
2007-01-01 08:17:21 · answer #8 · answered by unclefrunk 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're wasting your time asking our advice. This is really something you should talk over with him.
2007-01-01 08:41:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well do what you think is right =) tell him ur not ready for a relationshoip just yet he will understand. good luck
2007-01-01 08:28:42 · answer #10 · answered by mike 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋