okay, i am a fifteen year old and a sophomore in highschool. i am gay but i'm not out of the closet and i don't plan to be out because everyone at school is srsly homophobic.
so there's this guy, who's not really a bully, but the size of one, i guess. and he constantly spreads rumors about me being gay and is continuing to harrass me in real life and online. i always hear from someone that he was talking this and that about me. everyone already suspects i'm gay and i'm okay with that. but if i want people to know i'm gay, i want to tell them myself.
don't answer with answers like, "just come out of the closet". i'll probably get fxcked up really badly if i do.
-thomas.
2007-01-01 07:24:39 · 12 answers · asked by thomas<3 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Speak to a counsellor or someone in authority about it. They may have a policy or a method by which this guy can be shut up.
As to the "they suspect but they don't know." aspect of your life, If you did come out then not only would the rumours have no more value but you might find that you wouldn't be as fvcked up (such language from a 15 yr old LOL!) as you think.
Good Luck!
2007-01-01 07:34:30 · answer #1 · answered by unclefrunk 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thomas, if this guy you are talking about here is, as you say, not really a bully, then perhaps he is approachable. Would it be possible for you to engage him in conversation and ask him why he is doing the things he is? If this is possible and if you told him politely but firmly (and neither affirming nor denying your sexual orientation because that is nobody's business but your own) that you object to what he is doing and why (how it makes you feel, how it is hurting your reputation unfairly) perhaps he would respond more favorably than you think. His size has nothing to to with the issue. Some of the biggest guys are also the sweetest pussycats once you get to know them (and they get to know you). I'm not saying you SHOULD do this, Thomas, I'm just saying you should consider it as one possible option before ruling it out. In the best of all worlds the two of you might even become friends. Look on this as an opportunity rather than a problem. However you decide to handle this situation I wish you all the best in the New Year.
2007-01-01 17:05:23 · answer #2 · answered by Seeker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay no come out of the closet advice but how about something totally off the wall. Which will only work if you are not actually afraid of the guy who is saying things about you. Basically, it boils down to offering tit for tat and that means every time someone says he said somethign about you, you have to respond with some little tidbit about him. Like if he said you are gay, try lines back like:
Well it takes one to know one and I have no idea if he is.
or
Now if only that were true eh, but he's not my type so who cares anyway.
or
Did you notice how interested he is in my sexual orientation. I wonder why that is?
All said in a very relaxed, casual manner to not really say he is gay or anything but to indicate the only way he would even know abotu you is if he were.
And when you are ready to open the closet and come out feel fre eto do so; there are lots of resources out there to help you overcome any diffuiculties you may experience. No they won't eliminate problems but they can help...
2007-01-01 15:35:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, I think you should just bide your time and when the time is right to come out of the closet, you will just "feel" it. Don't rush into anything. Kids at school are the meanest things on earth. They have alot of peer pressure issues going on and try to show off for their friends, so just wait until you are out of school, after you graduate and then see what life is like. College is definately way different than regular school...just take your time, you have your whole life ahead of you.
2007-01-01 15:44:33 · answer #4 · answered by Diabla's daughter 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I now it's a very heard thing to do.Your scared because of people you know would say.Try and ask a teacher to help you.Tell your friend to met with you and the teacher so you can ask this friend of your to stop making fun of you.You never know he might be gay himself and is looking up to you for advice.You gust have to take the very first step.Good luck and have a very happy new Year.
2007-01-01 15:33:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry you have to deal with that. It's pretty unfair to be bullied for ANY reason. What comes to mind is look up stories about Clay Aikens lately. I know he has faced the accusation numerous times---and doesn't confirm or deny. Maybe pattern your reaction after him. Good luck.
2007-01-01 15:27:49 · answer #6 · answered by donnabellekc 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sweetheart! I know you asked us not to say this but: come out. If people already suspect things then you wont get any worse f*cked up by admitting it.
And if you're proud of being gay, and act fine with it (don't let those idiots get to you!) then they'll soon realise they can't break you.
x
2007-01-01 15:28:17 · answer #7 · answered by serf m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all you can really do is ignore people like that, they're mostly self concious about themselves and pick on other people they consider to be weaker to make themselves feel better. i know ignoring it is hard, but if u show him u care, then he's won. u tell people yourself when you're ready, and in your own time. if u have any really close frends perhaps u can confide in them. or maybe your parents or teachers. u shouldnt bottle it up completely, coz if theres someelse looking out for u it really helps.
2007-01-01 15:31:08 · answer #8 · answered by lil_ms_chocoholic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
**** the loseer who says **** bout you. all those people that make fun of you will get theirs. be like why are U so concernede about my sexuality u seem pretty interested in it. stand up for urtself. if u say that to hsi face he will abck off. watch. i had the same prob, but im straight and just cuz most of my friends are girls they seem to ahve fun amkign fun of me and then one day i said STFU ASSHOLE and he did and no1 saying **** now see easy as that
2007-01-01 16:36:10 · answer #9 · answered by mike 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Turn it around on him. Ask why he is so worried about your sexuality? Is he looking for a date with you?
2007-01-01 15:28:19 · answer #10 · answered by IndyT- For Da Ben Dan 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋