He acts like when I recieve this child support that I go on vacation with it---but it always goes for the kids and their means but it gets REALLY hard to spread it out as they get older---what can I do about this? I cant deal with him because there just isnt anyway--he's superhardheaded. He is also suppose to have insurance on the kids but doesn't as it is required in divorce papers--I can't afford a lawyer so what do I do?
2007-01-01 06:41:32 · 43 answers · asked by Charlotte 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Char,
Geeze this is almost EZ to answer your question. How bout if I answer it easily, you listen to the babbling advice I give you from a man that is recenlty separated and preparing for life on my own?
1.) EZ ANSWER-Go to your state's version of Depart of Family and Children Services "DFACS" and discuss your situation and what you make in a pre constructed budget prepared before you go. Have your ducks in a row. Don't think or talk with spite or hate toward the father of your children, thats all he is. Have them assist you in evaluating the $350 or only $116.67 per child (I hope you see where I am going here) that was constructed at the divorce when 2 households were being formed bills were being paid and possible bankruptcy thrown into the idea mix by his side plus the check would just not spread out. Now that things are settled, I think any judge in your area will agree that one kid teen can consume $116 in milk, 3 squares in a WEEK or LESS. It is unconsionable to think you are the purveyor of your husbands responsibility to the children. They are human beings and did not do anything in the bitter end you 2 came up with. 50% of the budgeted items for the kids must include Food, Clothing, Transportation, Tuition, School Supplies and THEIR running around money. AS IF YOU WERE TOGETHER!
2.) OK, my turn, I would never think for a minute because my wife makes less than 1/4 what I do that she has to support our children on that at a rate of 50% of expenses. Yes, I have a LOT of problems with my wife, but my kids have ZERO to do with that. Right now I pay all bills for the house, car doctor expenses everything. Once we are split I have met with her and told her I will be unable to do that and the car and house may be in jeapordy but we all have to change our lifestyle so that we all might live on what we make. If she wants to vacation or party you know that is her problem. It is not mine to take out on my kids and show bitterness toward her that I somehow attribute to that. My kids know we equally love them. I am pretty thick headed myself and my advice to you is not to go into this guns blazing but calmly call and ask him to meet you in a safe local "busy" place. A Starbux or coffee shop is best. Hate to say it but my wife gets very angry and is a yeller is why I use this learned from $$therapy$$ (its on me today), and it worked. I was able to lay out what I have what changes when I begin to pay out on my own and what will have to change to give the kids the safety and home they deserve. Try it. No insurance is no good excuse. He'd have it if he were home. And if one was sick or God forbid hospitalized, guess who'd get the bill then? $30 a week out of his paycheck for insurance or possible garnishment from the hospital? Just don't tell him like that please. If he is still unwilling DFACS will do it for you. You can stop making calls after this if he chooses to do nothing let DFACS. Be kind because I read in your voice you are to others.
Good luck, God spped and PEACE to you and your kids this New Year!!!
2007-01-01 07:12:57 · answer #1 · answered by bSquirrel 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Just opinion wise, I hope he finds a good lawyer. My understanding of any state, is that visitation and support are NOT TO BE tied to each other. In other words, separate. Keeps persons from manipulating contact if the other parent is not able to pay. No one knows your husband, or the history, but it sure doesn't sound like a reasonable 'agreement', or one that a judge would order, had it been presented on a fair basis. Why would anyone give up rights to their kids, unless forced to, by a court? Actually, I do have an answer to that... my daughter was coerced and threatened into signing a "voluntary" custody order to her mother in law. And I know the kind of harrassment she was under.. she was NOT an unfit parent, and there were no grounds for what happened. Of course, seems like Texas has a high percentage of such things. I am not a lawyer.. but my understanding of any agreement is that they are binding, UNLESS it can be shown it was under duress or coercion. Normally, I hear, that is hard to prove. Your comment that "he isn't even their dad" makes me wonder.. if he really is the dad, and was threatened in some way? CAN HE PROVE THIS, OR FIND EVIDENCE TO BACK IT UP? If there is fraud in the agreement somewhere, that may also back him up, in terms of having the agreement investigated. Just some thoughts. As for lawyers... they scare me. Seems like they only want to take a case if they can win the easy way, and sometimes, don't deal with facts, because they are not 'easy' to prove.
2016-05-23 03:27:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know were you live.. or if it is avaible.. but you might be able to go to the court house and get public lawyers... they work at the court house.. give advice and then you can represent yourself... most places have a chart system.. that goes by the parents income.. how many children they have and if they have any other children other then the ones they are to pay support for... it is then calculated based on that. The better the job the more he would have to pay..... you should have a court order on what he is to pay and when... you could also have his wages garnished.. it come right off his pay and goes to you.... call the court house.. see if there is any free legal advise or were you could get some.... as well.. check the phone book.
Take care
2007-01-01 07:07:30 · answer #3 · answered by kAtTs 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your ex sounds like an idiot. For one thing he should be glad he only has to pay 350 for 3 kids!! and on the other hand... he should WANT to give them more. This is just a little insight.... I know some people say things like, "be glad you get anything... blah blah blah"... but what I have to say is this: When my husband and I were going through a divorce (we ended up back together after quite a long time though...), he was ordered to pay me $638 a month for ONE child and pay for my son's medical insurance as well. We both had jobs and places to live, and he still took care of our son part of the time, but he still had to pay all that (which he did, without complaining). I am not sure if it just depends on where you live or something, but let me set one thing straight- we are poor. Not destitute or anything, but... 638 was extremely close to half of what he brought home in a month... leaving him... basically kind of destitute when you think of how much bills cost. What I am trying to say is this... your ex is lucky that he doesn't have to pay much, MUCH more (I guess, if he calls not having to take care of his kids, "lucky"). The things he is saying to you and the way he is treating you is just out of anger and resentment... which isn't your fault. It's his problem. I know you say you can't afford a lawyer, but you DO need to go to court. If he is ordered to pay for the insurance, then this can be enforced. Good luck, and I'm sorry that you have to go through this.
2007-01-01 06:55:13 · answer #4 · answered by KSmom24 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Every state has a set percentage and a maximum amount that any person has to pay for child support. Three kids will be much more than $350 unless he makes minimum wage. keep in mind if you go to court he may fight for custody as well.
2007-01-01 07:17:04 · answer #5 · answered by t t 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
depending on the state that you live in, you can go to the court house and file a contempt for the insurance. You don't need a lawyer. You can go to a legal clinic to help you draw up the paperwork...usually cost from $75 to $100. You can also go to your local child support enforcement agency and they might be able to help you increase the amount of child support. That's a low amount for 3 kids. I get 700 a month for 1 child.
2007-01-01 06:47:37 · answer #6 · answered by smallfry912 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
$350 a month for 3 kids? Girl, go and get that a WEEK!!!!
And start enforcing what was in the divorce papers. You may not need a lawyer, go right ot the friend of the court. I'm sure you're not the first mom who represents herself.
2007-01-01 06:45:03 · answer #7 · answered by Kiss My Shaz 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Contact the courts and see what kind of resources they have. You might not have to pay for an attorney, but might still be able to get the Child Support Enforcement Agency after him to at least provide the insurance. As far as the additional support, I beleive you would need an attorney for that, but the court might be able to help you with this too.
2007-01-01 06:44:11 · answer #8 · answered by wellbeing 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
350 a month is low. But it all depends on what your ex makes a month. Without that knowledge it's hard to say for sure. But where I come from and my experience in this arena, you can have the District Attorney's office do it for you. You can take him back to court for a re-evaluation of what he pays etc. Usually they have a Child Support Office attached to the D.A. Hope I helped and good luck.
2007-01-01 06:47:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
It depends on the state you live in, however, you can call the Legal Aid Society and they will find you an attorney pro bono (for free) who will work with you to see that he carries the insurance AND increases the child support payments (based on your state's guidelines).
If you would rather, you can go the the Court Clerk's office and they can show you what forms you will need to fill out for a Contempt of Court filing (failure to carry the insurance) and for the adjustment to the child support.
2007-01-01 06:45:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋