he freaks out when he doesnt get it. He gets real moody and sentitive about it. It such a turn off for me. What do you think?
2007-01-01 06:13:40 · 43 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ok i hate to be the one to admit this but i have done that myself .. not realizing it untill afterwards. my boyfriend works a very different schedule then me and there have been occasions when i wanted some but he had been up for 24-36 hours and he obviously said no.... i would normally go off sulking because i felt unwanted and rejected. in all reality i was being selfish to even come to him with wanting a piece knowing he had been up that long. I think for me anyhow it was a matter of human nature.. i put myself out there in a very intimate way and was told no.. its normal to feel unwanted at that point i think but the behavior is what needs to be modafied. I didn't realize how much it affected my boyfriend till he got mad at me once and told me "maybe if you wouldn't throw a huge guilt trip when i say no you might hear yes more often" did it even dawn on me what i was doing..... and he hasn't said no to me once since i took all that in.
2007-01-01 06:37:37 · answer #1 · answered by crystal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok. Lets start with this. You haven't said what "98% of" is. Does he ask for it once a week and you give it to him 98% of the time he asks or do you give it to him 98% of each day. So out of 100 days your giving it to him 98 of those days. Lets just assume it's 5 times a week or something. It could be that he isn't communicating to you that he would like you to do something your not. Perhaps he is dying for you to be more assertive and because he's not getting that need met he wants/needs sex more often. It could be that his language of love is physical. So when you make love to him it is telling him that you love him. To people who's language of love is physical touch can = saying "I love you." So when you don't want to have sex with him he might be feeling rejection of your love. It could also be that he has a sexual addiction. What is it that you want from him that tells you he loves you? Is it when he tells you your sexy or intelligent? Perhaps it's when he gives you gifts or maybe it's when he does things around the house for you? It might be when he spends time with you. These are all ways that humans know and feel they are being loved. Try starting there and see what happens. Make sure that the two of you are communicating about what each other wants. Make sure it's in a loving way. Make sure there isn't something missing from the sex that he desires. Could be anything from him wanting you to hold him more, say something different all the way to dominate him completely. Only you can find that part out. ;) But the most important part is to talk with him about it and figure out what he can do to turn you on more and what you can do sexually that will leave him more fulfilled. Communication is always the key. :)
2007-01-01 07:12:01 · answer #2 · answered by Evolving 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My first inclination is to say he needs to grow up. And that's probably the case--but a little more explanation is in order.
Men generally are socialized to think of sex as the "touchstone" in a romantic relationship. In otherwords, they are taught (by our society) that if the sex is there, things are at least reasonably on track--and if it isn't, somethings wrong.
Now, in a larger sense, that may be true--but what many men don't know how to do is separate that larger picture from the day-to-day reality that soemetimes the woman just "insn't in the mood"--and it has nothing to do with the man.
About all you can do is make this cclear--that on occasion you don't want to, not because anything's wrong, but because YOU "aren't in the mood." If he has enough maturity to acccept this and learn to be okay with it, fine. If he doesn't, sooner or later you and he will be parting ways--you have every right to have your wishes and feelings RESPECTED.
2007-01-01 06:29:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you dating my husband? LOL !! I face the same problem which has turned the 98% into even less. I cant handle the whining. It makes me feel like thats the only thing i am good for. Whats funny is if i do initiate he often says he is tired and doesnt see that he is doing the same thing i do when i am tired. Its different blah blah blah. Anyway i think they are just big insecure babies who need to feel loved and wanted and when we say no we take away from that in there minds. I truly think its him and not you. I havent been able to get that point across so good luck and hang in there.
camys_dad I have tried your advice and he doesnt act any differently its still followed by whining or questions of my desire for him.
2007-01-01 06:18:32 · answer #4 · answered by troys_wifey2003 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, tell him this, that his moodyness turns you off.
However, you have to also understand that if he wants more than you are willing to give, and by your own admission, you are only giving him 98% of what he wants, then you have to take his desires as very real and very valid.
Maybe you need to work on how you say no. First, don't say no, but ask for a rain check. Say, I don't feel like it right now, but how about we do _____________ in a few hours after I __________.
It's all about letting him know you want him, but now is not a good time for you, and if he can wait a few hours, a day, you can rock his world far better than you are able to do right now.
So, instead of saying no, say wait for something better later. More of a deferred and better yes later, than a mediocre yes right now.
2007-01-01 06:18:03 · answer #5 · answered by camys_daddy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he needs to grow up and think about what your needs are not just his... The Wife and I do have sex alot but when she is not in the mood or not feeling well...I found something else to do...watch a movie together...or I might go play a video game. If he is getting mad about not having sex..Sounds like that's all he wants you for is a f*ck buddy,
If he truly loves you he will stop acting like a child if he does not get what he wants...Might be time to find a real man who won't get upset if he gets turned down once in a while...
Good luck in your choices
2007-01-01 06:53:36 · answer #6 · answered by hononegah1988 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to grow up and quit being such a spoiled brat.
2007-01-01 06:28:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you get something 98% of the time, then when you don't, it tends to piss you off. Sounds like he is accustomed to getting what he wants from you and he expects it. We train people how to treat us and what to expect from us. I'm not saying you are wrong and he is right, just that you had a hand in creating this monster. My only advice is to not allow his temper-tantrums to get him what he wants from you and maybe he will get the point.
2007-01-01 06:22:57 · answer #8 · answered by Jennifer M 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
obviously your whole relationship revolves around sex. This is an unhealthy compromise to a relationship and everything hinges on how much you give him. Its also dangerous becouse when he doesn't get what he wants, he may take it by force or get it elswhere. You either need to find other things in your relationship or it will die.
2007-01-01 07:18:07 · answer #9 · answered by fman440 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well is it a good thing or a bad thing?First of all some of our man don't even it want anymore so count yourself lucky or unlucky because if that all he wants from you then your luck just ran out sorry to say.If a guy start o get fustrated because he can't have sex all the time its either he addicted to it or thats all he wants.
2007-01-01 06:21:31 · answer #10 · answered by love me like me hate me 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋