My friend has been staying with me for a month but it was only supposed to be temporary. She has a son and no family to stay with. I feel like she is taking advantage of me because she dont pay for anything and she barly picks up after her and her son. I have a family and we want our house back how do I get herr out nicely? Plus I have tryed helping her find an apartment but she always says they are to expensive.
2007-01-01 06:12:42 · 16 answers · asked by Amber T 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Give her a deadline and put your foot down, which will force her to get looking for a place. The longer you wait the harder it will be to get her out. Explain that it's best for you and your family to get back to normalcy.
2007-01-01 06:15:32 · answer #1 · answered by Kiss My Shaz 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are going to have to be a little bit more direct with her. Tell her that you have done as much as you can to help her and that it is becoming a problem in your home. Tell her that you said temporary and that you thought that during that time she would help out not only in the house but financially too. And that you feel that she is taking advantage of your hospitality. Which it sounds like she is. Tell her she has a time limit to chose an apartment and tell her what that limit is and stick to it. It may be hard for you to say but remind her that company is like fish, after 3 days it begins to smell. lol
2007-01-01 06:23:35 · answer #2 · answered by *queenfairy1*Antioch California 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have found that you if enable somebody's bad/lazy behavior, they will keep doing it. I'm sure that it will be hard to tell her to go, but if she keeps using the excuse that it's "too expensive" to get an apartment, then she needs to focus on finding a job, getting a loan, etc. You will begin to resent her and your friendship will not fare well. You aren't charging her rent, she is hanging out, interfering in your daily life. Enough is enough. My mom used to have a refridgerator magnet that said "fish and houseguests start to stink after 3 days". Maybe you should put that up!! It's not fair to you. She will become dependent on you and your house and your generousity if you let her. The longer you wait to tell her to leave, the harder it will be. DO IT ASAP! You will be happy you did.
2007-01-01 10:40:11 · answer #3 · answered by catchernkeeper 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that you need her to move forward. Give her a time period in which to get a job and an apartment or make some other living arrangements. Sometimes people will take advantage if you continue to allow them to do so.
If she doesn't get the hint, give her telephone numbers, etc. to shelters and other services available to her.
2007-01-01 06:25:01 · answer #4 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell her that though you care about what happens to her, her pressence in your house is causing problems between you and your family. tell her that she has a set amount of time to find her own home and that if she is not in her own home by the end of the time you give, that she and her son will be moved into a shelter untill she can find something better. tell her that you do love her but your family comes first. i hope this helps, good luck.
2007-01-01 06:29:34 · answer #5 · answered by Thumbs down me now 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After 30 days, she can take you to court to stay there.
Hopefully, she is not aware of this or can't afford the court costs.
Give her a deadline of a week. Ignore her tears and sappy kid. At the end of the week, change the locks if she is not out.
2007-01-01 07:15:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have proven your part. you are a true friend. its time to have a sit down with her. exlpain to her that it is time to move on. tell her you enjoined her staying and you were glad to help out. set a date for her to move you. give her about two or three weeks to get herself together. you cant keep giving her a free place to live. if you want ask her to pay rent. Tell her she need to start helping around the house. its the least she could do.
2007-01-01 06:25:32 · answer #7 · answered by pantyhose_creature 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sit her down, and be honest.
Tell her that you here for her, but she cannot live with you any more, just because of space issues. Tell her you are there for her, and that you will help her search for an appartment, but you have a deadline she has to meet.
Be honest, but nice!
She's been using you and thats not fair to your family, or you!
Take care and good luck!
2007-01-01 06:19:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her she has 30 days to find a place because she will have to leave in 30 days. Give her the reasons you gave us and the bottom line is you cant or shouldnt care what her reasons or excuses are. You have your own to worry about.
2007-01-01 06:29:15 · answer #9 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her it that you enjoyed helping her, but it is time to get back on her feet, and figure out what she is going to do. Then, make her spend her time productively looking for apartments, etc. to get back on her own. If she balks, tell her she doesn't have an option. You were glad to help her TEMPORARILY, but it is time. You might throw in you are tired of picking after her.
2007-01-01 06:26:00 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋