My husband thinks that its only of time before we get divorced.He is a very negative thinker and has always been.Thinks the worse but the difference is instead hoping for the best be expect the worse so hes not disappointed.My problem is with this thinking he doesnt care about much .I dont know how he feel or anything and im the opposite.I am optimistic and up beat but there sething i must say :His father doesnt know were married?We have been married since May and he feels that b/c divorce is will happen he's afraid ..i dont know.Please no slick comments . . But would it be wrong if i told his father ??
2007-01-01 05:45:25 · 10 answers · asked by ? 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know where you are coming from.My husband is negitive too,when he starts that i tell him,Oh quit being so negitive....My husband it quite too and hes always negitive and it drives me crazy....I have just excepted the fact he is that way,and ignor it,he has a personality flaw....If hes so negitive and thinks you two will get a divorce,just ignor him.You should just say "O really when do you think its coming? I just make light of my husbands negitive side,he has finally gotten to the point that he knows I hate it and when she starts that ,I never fail to point it out to him,how negitive he is.He has gotton to where he don,t say that negitive stuff much anymore cause he knows Ill jump back with a coomit...There is nothing wrong with his father knowing about your marriage....I would just wait until his father is around and if the time is right just say were married,and your negitve son was afraid to tell you for fear our marrisge will fail....If you love your husabnd just try to focus on his good traits..he won,t change but he might quit saying negitive things in front of you.....
2007-01-01 06:32:08 · answer #1 · answered by slickcut 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not totally sure I understand your question but I will tell u my husband and I are struggling with the opposite problem I'm very negative because I have low self esteem. I was afraid to let my parents know when we got married because I've been married before and have two children from previous relationships and I didn't want to take this relationship slow because I was afraid of losing him. Now we are having all kinds of problems and are hoping to be able to save our marriage against all odds. If we can make it I know you can if there's Love (commitment) there.
2007-01-01 16:19:33 · answer #2 · answered by 8 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
May be if he is his father's boy his father might ask him to divorce you and that must be the fear he is carrying
It is the fear that he carries make him think so.
I am not sure how much he depends on his father for his and your survival? If it does not matter then go ahead and send the copy of your marriage certificate to your father in law and after some stressful and tense days things will reside and you will be back on the track. But if he is dependent on his father for his survival wait till he makes the situation where you and him can live with out his father, he will not interfere in your marriage.
2007-01-01 14:04:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why does husband not want father to know? if there is no real reason just some childish notion then go ahead there is nothing dad can do now.
Your husband should really grow up and be a man and you should not cater to him, tell him to knock it off or you will start having some fun with out him.
2007-01-01 13:53:26 · answer #4 · answered by picture 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont feel it would be wrong to tell, you should not have to hide your marriage. But your husband may feel betrayed by this and that is who you need to be concerned with here.
Why has he not told him? There has to be a reason he has kept it a secret.
Also marriage is a committment and takes hard work on both parts. His negative attitude may be a sign that he is not willing to put the work into it that is required. I would be concerned with his whole attitude on this.
2007-01-01 13:51:50 · answer #5 · answered by just_trump_my_ace 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This marriage was doomed from the start. Why would anyone have to marry in secret? That is suppose to be a joyous celebration that includes all the family. Or at least to be able to tell everyone. SOMETHING IS WRONG HERE.
2007-01-01 13:50:34 · answer #6 · answered by *queenfairy1*Antioch California 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
think he can never see the good, we need to stay away from unhappy negative people, who will eventually contaminate us, and pull us down. if he doesn't care about much than he won't be willing to put the work in the marriage it may need. he seems to never be able to see the value in anything, and if u are an optimist than it can never work out. think someone needs to tell his dad.
2007-01-01 16:01:41 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand why you would hide your feelings for one another....you should be wanting to tell everyone that you are married...is he ashamed? As far as his thinking about divorce...if he strongly feels like that why did he marry you_
2007-01-01 13:50:12 · answer #8 · answered by Chickybabe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetheart, why are you waiting around for this fool. he is either telling you this to give you hints so he wont feel bad when he is leaving you or well that is it. he probably is cheating on you.
file for divorce.
2007-01-01 13:53:05 · answer #9 · answered by Miss Johny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if there is a good reason y he doesnt know...if your husband didnt want him to no then he will be very upset wen u tell him...but i think u should!!
2007-01-01 13:49:04 · answer #10 · answered by Rachel 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋