we met accidentally,living toghether for 5yrs,and we have a kid of 2 yrs.My reason is that for the last 5 yrs ,her father has been directing what we do in our house.she does not take any advice from me.i am tired of this insubordination.
2007-01-01 05:31:29 · 15 answers · asked by lugofashion 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You should have married her 3 yrs ago..before the kid..
Just move, leave her, pay child support or she will go to court
and force you to pay it..
Do her a favor, cut her loose...
2007-01-01 05:33:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay, well are you living in the parent's house? For if you are, that is a tough situation because he then feels he is the man of the house even though he is not the man of your family. So if you are in the same house or living in any part of their house or they are helping you, cut loose from that. Then I would sit down, have a heart to heart talk with her, especially since you have a child together, and tell her how you feel, truly be open and honest. Tell her that you will give it another 2 or 3 or 6 months, whatever you decide, for things to change. If it doesn't, then you can't live like that and then you need to do the right thing for your child, no matter what, and pay the child support and move on. I think though you need to try everything you can together, and not just based on "her behavior" but what do you two have together, besides a child? What drew you to her, even if it was by accident? What do you love about her? What does she love about you? Get back to the basics, and communicate. If you can't, then get to counseling and get help, it'll be worth it if it can help you get to a better place or at least if you do move on, you can feel good knowing you've tried everything!!!! Best of luck to you, and her!
2007-01-01 05:48:43 · answer #2 · answered by Laurie S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like that you're tired of her insubordination. YOu don't need to take that. You should beat her like it's nobody's business. The blueness of the wounds drive rebellion out of the home, is how my father puts it.
Now being that is probably illegal where your from:
Just deal with it. Anytime you put a man and a woman in the same house, this is going to happen. You're gonna have the same thing with the next one, seriously. If not that another problem; only with the new one you'll have the complication of an ex who is mother to your kid and deminished income from child support. And the new one will complain about how you have too much contact with your ex, even though your kid is over there.
This is just the way of marriage or things close to marriage. All you can do is accept it, and realize its better than being lonely, and there's no alternative.
I'm being honest with you brother. This is all there is available, so enjoy the parts you enjoy, and go for a walk when you need to.
I do like that you are tired of the insubordination though. Insubordination. That's the word for it, too. She should step in line.
2007-01-01 05:53:34 · answer #3 · answered by jim w 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Here's what you do:
1. Ditch the attitude that you have and tell me what things are wrong that her father is directing, other than you don't like it.
2. You dropped in 5 years ago, now have a child and you want to drop out again. It's no surprise that your partner and her father consider you to be extremely selfish. If you leave, it will just confirm their suspicions all along.
3. Here's what you do:
a) Get married to this woman you have been living with and parenting for these years. A small church wedding would be nice.
b) Seek her fathers counsel. Being a husband does NOT make you the BOSS so you can boss her around.
c) Take responsibility for your family. I can tell by your attitude that you are NOT doing that. Ask you wife. She can tell you what's missing.
d) All of this is going to cramp your style severely, so get prepared to be very angry for a while. The cause is your selfish nature, not your wife, not the kid and not your wife's father. It's YOU.
e) Find the pastor of a local church and ask for help dealing with this change in your life.
2007-01-01 05:45:01 · answer #4 · answered by Thomas K 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You had me right up until the word ‘insubordination’. Like I tell my children all the time, the words you choose to use say a lot about you. Here’s the definition of insubordination: not submitting to authority. It’s normally a word used by men who feel that they ARE the authority and their wife should blindly do everything they tell them to. IF that’s the case, she’s better off without you.
2007-01-01 05:50:01 · answer #5 · answered by kp 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her all that you just said but with details about how her father is taking your role in the house and if she does not make a change and this day talk to her father about butting in your family then you need to leave. Please do not leave your child fight for the right to have him whenever you want and if he going to live with her pay child support, she will most likely move in with her father and he will bad mouth you in front of your child & that will hurt your child, so I would do everything to solve this problem. Oh, don't tell her you took advise from strangers on the internet.
2007-01-01 05:42:25 · answer #6 · answered by livlafluv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you have been living together for that long you need to do some checking b4 you just walk out the door. In some states "Common Law" marriages are still recognized, and if you live with somone for over a year you can be legally be considered married and she could smack you with abandonment if you just leave.
If you feel its time to go then it probably is, but do some checking first and cover yourself. Also please realize that if you leave her, you are leaving her. Your child is still your yours and they are the innocent here.
Make sure the new life you make has PLENTY of room for your child in it and realize that you will be paying child support to her if she gets custody.
2007-01-01 05:39:32 · answer #7 · answered by just_trump_my_ace 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever talked with her about this? If so then you seriously need to sit her down and let her know it is over unless she stops letting her Dad direct everything....Do you by any chance live with her Dad? if so thats maybe the reason,if not ,i see no reason why her dad should have any say in your home life....Just let her know just how you feel.It also wouldnot hurt to talk with her Dad.If you do by chance live in his home ,I think its time for you two to move out...
2007-01-01 05:39:47 · answer #8 · answered by slickcut 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may want to try couple's counceling before you give up on this relationship.
Remember, a relationship should be an equal partnership. No one person is in charge of the other.
2007-01-01 05:38:20 · answer #9 · answered by Contessa 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe before you give up especially since you have a child. Talk to her and tell her how you feel. If that dosent change then thats when you take action.
2007-01-01 05:33:48 · answer #10 · answered by Dareisha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋