my uncle died an hour ago?

Question

my uncle who had cancer since a month passed away an hour ago. the cancer had spread totally and the doctors had given up. yesterday he went through a lot of pain and my family visited him and i refused cause i cant watch someone dying. however i did pray for him to pass away cause it was better than the way he was suffering. i know i should be on the computer but i dont feel like talking to anyone. so really i dont know what to do?

Answer 1

Watching someone suffer is a very difficult thing to do. It’s good that you asked for him to be released. Realize he no longer suffers and is in a better place.

You are going through a normal reaction to stress and grief. It’s common to feel confused and not know what to do especially right after someone dies. Often it’s difficult to share your feelings with other people because they may not understand or have experienced a death. Let your emotions come out naturally. Don’t force yourself to be any particular way, just be for now.

If you have a clergyman you could talk to that would be very beneficial. They might help you be able to get over the terrible emotions you feel right now.

Here’s a web site where you can light a candle and I find it very peaceful to meditate after lighting the candle. Try going here and see if this helps you. Light a candle for your uncle and one for yourself. http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/enter.cfm?l=ENG

I wish you peace and will keep you in my thoughts today,
Billie77

Answer 2

Cancer is a terrible and tragic thing ...

Grief is a personal process ... we all deal with death and dying in different ways. You may choose to be at someone's bedside or you may not. You may also grieve for years afterwards or you may not. No one can change this or should make you feel guilty by "not being there".

There is no "right" answer here, but, with praying for your uncle, you did what you felt most comfortable doing in that situation. Your family should respect that. As others have said here, remember your uncle now for the good times and know that his pain and suffering are over.

Having gone through the death of both of my parents (Mom to cancer ...), I know it is best to take it easy on yourself. Take your time and care for yourself. Talk with those you feel most comfortable with.

Best wishes.

Answer 3

You are not wrong for not going to the hospital. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, Everyone griefs in their own way and in their own time. A lot of people can't handle seeing a loved one hurting and from my nursing experiencing it is not a pretty site to see someone suffering. Your Uncle was probably heavily sedated at the time also so he would not be in so much pain.

Take Care and remember your Uncle is no longer hurting and is in a much better place although I know it is hard for us left behind not being able to physically see our loved one.

I will keep you and your family in my prayers during your time of need.

Answer 4

prayer is a fantastic thing to do at all times . in this moment for you prayer is a good idea.
i figure your sad and all and that is expected.
as for not going to see your uncle near his time of death while i know that it is hard to do but in the future it may do you well to go and visit with dying person. i say this because there is more to death then what can be even expalined. i cant begin to discribe what it is . it is a part of life really it is a miricle like birth
you dont have to be thinking the computer is not ok at this time.
so long as what you do is reserved and respectfull as a time of mourning it is ok
take care for the next week not to distrube the sibling of your uncle . remember that while you lost an uncle he or she lost a brother and that is somewhat harder most often.
so just take time to remember him really remember him what he did with you and so on pray and be understanding of your parent.

Answer 5

it is ok... everyone has thier way of dealing. my mom was sick for three years. she passed away a month ago. it is hard to watch someone you love being in so much pain. some people can watch as thier way of dealing and saying good bye. some people like to remember them the way they were before they were sick. so do not feel bad or let anyone else make you feel bad. my brother is one that did not come around much because he did not like seeing her that way. i do not hold it against him. some people just can not deal with seeing the people they love in pain and forcing them to will only make thier grieving process worse. so do not feel bad. be happy his no longer in pain. i knew when the morphine was not helping the pain that she would be better off once she passed. it is hard to let go but sometimes you have to. and don't blame yourself. cause after they are gone you still have a life to live and i am sure that he would want you to live it without regret. my deepest symathy for your loss... keep your head up and think positve.

Answer 6

So sorry for your loss. Remember your uncle in better days, you willl smile, cry and even laugh out loud. You might even become angry that you won't be able to share these moments again. You need to grieve and we all do it in our own ways.

Take care ... virtual hug going your way. Time heals the wound, but memories keep the souls of those we have lost alive.

Answer 7

i'm so sorry about your uncle...
my uncle passed away about a year ago... i wasn't even very close to him but it was still really hard.
i think the best thing for you right now is to talk to someone in your family because they're going through it too and they'll understand.

Answer 8

I'm sorry. plz be strong at this moment and pray for him. thank god cos he didn't suffer allot. try and make your mind. you should be strong on behalf of the family. stay a while in the computer all these answers will bring u Peace as well as will help u allot. think of what is next to do. god bless you and your family

Answer 9

You will go through a few stages of grief. It's normal. Just give yourself time. Don't beat yourself up for not saying your good-byes. Your prayers helped him. His pain stopped and that's important. I didn't go to my grandmother's funeral when she died 17 years ago (although I loved her dearly) because I wanted to remember her alive! I think it worked. I'm now content with her passing. Hang in there!

Answer 10

my uncle passed away last week. Life goes on. The best thing to do is to let it all out