The life of a single parent?

Question

I have been on a roller coaster of financial issue for the past 13 years and maybe before that. I struggle so hard, I can pay rent and put food on the table but after that I'm out of money. Sometimes I dont even have a dollar for gas to get to work. I have to resort to begging friends here and there for $20.00, which make me feel so ashame and down right dirty. I go to school, I raise the kids, I work, but it seems that life just keep comming back with the same challenges. try to be the best human being I can possibly be, why? I feel like i'm losing my mind. Then people have this conception that you might try to pull one over their heads when you ask for help. I feel so stress . Please give me some advice cause i'm losing it down here in Florida

Answer 1

I agree with the first poster. You live in a very expensive area to try and make it alone. But once again it costs money to move away from where you are.

Have you applied to the local Social Services office to see if you qualify for any type of assistance? You may not want it but you may need it. Most states offer a foodstamp program and a reduced lunch program at school to help ensure that food is on the table and maybe getting these will free up some money to help cover the gas costs exc.

There are also grants out there that cover living expenses for single parents that go to school and work. Do some online research to locate these or check with the school you are attending for more information on what available in your area.

Life is hard, Even with somone else its hard to make it these days the bills just keep coming and coming and sometimes it feels like a viciouse cycle. Just take one day at a time and do the best you can with what you have.

God bless

Answer 2

well, I am a single mom and the last thing I would do is ask a friend for money. I raise 4 kids on my own, I work two jobs just to do it but,it pays the bills and still leaves extra for things i need. I refuse to have to have any kind of assistance. Instead of asking them for money offer to do things they need done in exchange for money, maybe they have a busy life and havent gotten there spring cleaning done or maybe they need there car detailed etc. I always find ways to make a little extra if I need it. Make sure you are not spending money in any way that you could cut back, If you buy magazines, or eat out, or even buy sodas at the gas station, all this you can cut back on and that would be the money you need for gas etc. Anyone who is capable of working can always do something else to make a few extra dollars. This way you dont feel as if you are borrowing, you are working for it, plus, your friends will not think your just using them.

Answer 3

Honey I know what you are going through, being a child of a signle parent I know the struggle in which you go through. You have to take care of your kids,and you don't have time for bickering. You have to work ten times as hard to get somewhere,and in some cases,most single moms only have GED's or a high school diploma.
I suggest,that you find house keeping jobs. I know that I helped my mom when it came to those jobs,and find jobs for people that pay between 15-25 dollars an hour,because you can work an average of 7 hours,and it will definitely help you alot.
I suggest signing up for foodstamps,most people see it as the lowest thing you can do,but at least in your case,it will go to a worthy cause and not someone abusing the system.
We all feel we are loosing our minds,have your kids help you,if you have teenage kids,you can also see if they can get working papers,that way they can support buying school supplies and their needs at times,because it does go a long way. Don't feel helpless,because every situation is workable.

Answer 4

Anyone who made it in life needs help at some point. We call this the support system. Even if it's just advice, encouragement, or some money from time to time. So long as you are trying to do for yourself and are not just relying on assistance, then you are doing well. Credit cards allow people to use money when it may not be available. Just remember not to live outside of your means. If you stay the course and stay focused, eventually you will be done with school and find that things will be better. If you keep going to the same friends for help, they may be expressing their personal frustration. They may have been burned in the past and are serving notice. they will feel better once they see how their investment has turned out. Of course, if you were the one who burned them in the past, then they are calling you on your erroneous ways.

Answer 5

Awww you poor thing... I understand just keep your faith in God. It will all work out. God will not give you more than you can bare. I am a single parent too I have one child and it is hard enough. Believe me I've been there... You just have to stay focused and put your kids first. If you are having sex stay on Birth control b/c you don't want to add to your financial strain.

People react negativly to women who have more than one child and is single b/c its like you keep making the same mistake. So that may be why people are not as sensitive to your situation.

Pray Pray Pray

Answer 6

Now I am sure my answer to you will be the one that sounds like I have no heart. Okay, I can live with that.

Lets review. You are a single parent. Now, we dont know why you are a parent or one who is single, for you didnt say. Those details left out might just hold a wealth of information regarding this subject.

You have made choices, as we all do. You decided to follow some paths or routes you wished to pursue, so you have to be responsible for what comes with that choice. Almost all things take money in life and the skills we have, the opportunities we can take advantage of and the way we manage money are all very big factors as is how much money our skills are worth, etc.

My dear, so many of us get tired of hearing about the hardships of others, because we see them put themselves in those circumstances by the choices they have made. People are free to make a choice, but people cant expect others to support or condone or finance those choices.

Let me explain. Now I have no idea if this would apply to you, but I have seen it, so I use this example.

I saw a lady with a couple of kids, decide that she wasnt happy with her husband. She left. Well, she was not able to soak him for everything, thankfully, but he does pay child support. Now this lady had some basic skills and so forth, but she wasnt going to be a CEO either. Now she complains about how hard it is and so forth.

When she asked for help, I told her that I would not help. She had a husband that she left. She took it upon herself to nulify her end of the agreement she made and that was a choice she was free to make. Now simply support yourself and your kids and do what you have to do, as responsibility comes with freedoms. I told her the I didnt even think he should have to pay child support to be honest, for she was the one who decided to move out when she wasnt cheated upon, so support the kids or give them to him and be done with it. Maybe your hardships are just life being unfair. Maybe they are the result of what you have done and how you did it too.

Answer 7

Florida is a hard place to try to make it. I lived there for a long time and it was just too expensive. I moved to Georgia. It's different here.

Answer 8

What kind of school are you going to? One that can improve your wage earning capabilites? Alot of community colleges have specific programs, such as LVN, which you can take in a specific period of time and then greatly improve your wage earning capability.. then you wouldn't be struggling so much.

Answer 9

I'm sorry - I understand what your saying, been there - done that. Its difficult. When you think you might get ahead, something else happens. Sucks! I will keep you in my prayers. Your a good, hardworking person. Don't let it get you down. You'll be fine! Take care.

Answer 10

i hope you will be uplifted by this.

one of my friends who is a single parent just as you are always says " i know God is very kind to single parents like me, because He is our partner " she view God as her partner from raising her kids to even in bills payment. and guess what her partner doesnt fail her unlike the ex partner she has then.

Have that faith too. God is your partner, can u see it? how can u actually survived it (13 years is no joke)? God is silently helping you darling. Just hold on.