I JUST FOUND OUT WAS PREGNANT LAST NIGHT, I TOOK 3 PREGNANCY TEST AND THEY WHERE ALL POSITIVE..IVE BEEN SICK AND HAVING EMOTIONAL STRESS BECAUSE MY BOYFRIEND RECENTLY BROKE UP WITH ME.."HE NEEDED HIS SPACE" WELL HE DOSENT KNOW AND IM SCARED TO TELL HIM BECAUSE I DONT WANT HIM TO THINK THAT IM TELLING HIM THIS SO WE CAN STAY TOGETHER..IM 20YRS OLD I GOT A JOB AND A CAR, IM MAKING IT..IM DEFFINITLY GOING TO KEEP THIS BABY..BUT WHAT SHOULD I DO ABOUT HIM? HE HASINT BEEN ANSWERING HIS PHONE AND HASINT BEEN HOME..ALL I DO IS SIT AT HOME AND CRY..I NEED HIM THE MOST RIGHT NOW BUT DONT KNOW WHERE HES AT!!
2007-01-01 03:16:05 · 14 answers · asked by Kim 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
You have a lot of decisions to make. And the most important one involves the care and support of your baby. Whether you believe it or not, you will need help. If possible, find out if you can move back home for the first two years. The baby's father broke up with you and you cannot trap him back into the relationship - and that is exactly what he's going to think when you tell him. So, make a plan about how you will raise this child. It's not about you any more (no more dating for a long while my friend). The man has a right to know that it's his child, but you should just send him a letter explaining how you will raise his child. I'm very sorry for all of you and wish you the best.
2007-01-01 03:23:02 · answer #1 · answered by mJc 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I am so sorry, Men are jerks! I really hope that you will be ok and you know if he comes back now I wouldnt have him. You dont want the relationship to be just because of the baby. It will never make you happy that way! I would wait a few days and call him or send a note to him through the mail and make it plain that you dont want him back so he doesnt think it is all a lie. And then tell him to cough up some child support! I now you are young and you think you need him but you dont, you can make it on your own and you can find someone that loves you a whole lot more than that jerk does. Good Luck and Congrats on the baby.
2007-01-01 11:25:17 · answer #2 · answered by Kendra M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it definitley sounds like you are more worried about him than your pregnancy and are trying to connect the two.You also do not sound confident about your financial status..
The most important thing you must understand is that having this baby will not gurantee that you and him will be together in the future, in fact pleae be ready for him to act like even more of a jerk...For someone who "needs their space "the news of a becoming a dad will not be satisfactory.
I agree with one of the commentors below, you need stable support right now from family and friends.They are more reliable and are there through "thick and thin" and never tell you that they "need their space".Please try and find emotional support elsewhere as you trying to get it from him will only disappoint you and make your pregnancy very depressing and miserable and that is a horrible feeling.
As for nitifying him of his new responsonsibilities that will be tricky;it sounds like he's avoiding you.You might want to let a friend or family member of his know so that they can tell him as he might not want to meet with you to discuss anything, if not you can write a letter explaining that you have a very important matter to discuss with him.
It does not sound like you are in sound mind and body right now,please see an unplanned pregnancy counselor or confide in someone who can help you through this becuase the truth of the matter is:neither one of you are ready for this baby.
The worst thing you can do is bring a baby into a hostile situation.Please accept things for what they are, which is you will probably be a single parent and the dad will end up with somebody else...You need to now focus on your pregnancy and how you will give this child a great life regardless of the father situation ....P.S get ready to file for child support!
2007-01-01 13:01:36 · answer #3 · answered by srhlun1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jeez.
The first thing to do is to go to a doctor and take a medical preggo test.
Once you've confirmed it, prepare to raise this kid alone. He broke up with you so it's obvious he's not interested in a future with you. Wait until after you know for sure that you are preggo before calling him anymore. IOW, leave him alone for now (or until you know the official results) and develope a plan for you and your kid.
Then tell him you need to meet. Do not meet him at your place or his. Meet him out in public for coffee (you have milk or juice). And just tell him you're pregnant, you're keeping it and you have a plan for the future.
Honestly, having a job and a car doesn't make you ready to be a parent. You can't find the father of your kid now - do you think that's going to change?!
Where are your family and friends in all this? This ex is just a man - there are many more of them out there. You'll need your family and friends in the future.
Good luck, kid!
2007-01-01 11:31:05 · answer #4 · answered by jacq 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well leave a message on the phone if that's the only way to get him to know whats going on. then see how fast he calls you then.well it looks like you are going to raise this baby alone. I was 16 when i was pregnant and its not easy.you said you have a job a car.what about when the baby sick you have to spend money ,take off work.it hard.just think about what are you going to do when bad things come up.what are you going to do then.I'm sure the father wont be their for the child fully.but he will still want to see the child you cant keep the child away for him.by law you have to let him see the child or he can take the child away for you. i wish i could have a better father for my child and have money for her and be allot older. but i love her i don't regret it but their would be a few things i would change.
2007-01-01 11:35:00 · answer #5 · answered by C M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congrats! I recently found out I was pregnant too, I went to Baby's R Us and got him a Daddy-To-Be card and gave it to him. We have a strange relationship as well so it was hard telling him. If you know you want to keep the baby and are 100% sure it doesn't really matter what he says. He WILL have to pay you child support if you two don't get married (even if you are back together as a dating couple he's required to pay). Good luck!
2007-01-01 11:24:58 · answer #6 · answered by RitzFitz29 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u get a hold of him and he doesnt believe ur preg then take a test while hes there if you cant get a hold of him call a friend of his or tell HIS mom or dad if your close 2 either not all guys go and say well i think ur just trying 2 gt me back just dont yell bout it to him, say look im preg if you dont wanna be with me ok but i want u there for the baby that way you dont stress yourself saying i cant believe hes not with me , you may need him the most right now i know but you dont need to feel like **** either
2007-01-01 11:55:23 · answer #7 · answered by tabetha m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go to the doctor first just to be sure. Then I would send him a note/letter. You can put down in the letter exactly how you feel..that you can do this one your own and do not expect to get back with him. And you can tell him what is expected of him...that you'd like him to be a father to the child and own up to his financial responsibility.
2007-01-01 11:26:35 · answer #8 · answered by glitterkittyy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's probably still sleeping after being up late for New Years. Leave him a messge telling him you guys need to meet and talk. Tell him in person that you aren't saying this to keep him around but you need to tell him discuss your options (work on getting back together, etc)
2007-01-01 11:19:26 · answer #9 · answered by iampatsajak 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well when you go around seeing him ask him if he wants to go out to eat... if he says yes... cook dinner for him....Cook him baby peas,baby corn, and babyback ribs... then ask him if he likes the theme of the dinner... then tell him! If you really want to get xtreme about it, seat him in a booster seat and put a bib on him and serve him warm milk in a baby bottle
2007-01-01 11:22:28 · answer #10 · answered by JUDI 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋