My husband and I are fortunate that we are doing well financially. We send money and gifts to my family and his family as well who live out of state. I noticed that no one sends anything not even something small, not even a card. My father who I send nice gifts to doesn't send anything in return and my husbands sister who has kids doesn't even thank us for sending money to her kids. I can't believe the rudeness. What should I do?
2007-01-01 02:43:09 · 28 answers · asked by Simone 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Their not well off.
2007-01-01 02:51:42 · update #1
They have no problem giving other people gifts. When they were doing well they didn't bother to give gifts to us either
2007-01-01 03:01:27 · update #2
If I didn't give my sister money for Christmas the kids would get nothing.
2007-01-01 03:47:52 · update #3
you dont give to receive that where your wrong. you feel you should get. then dont give
2007-01-01 02:45:26 · answer #1 · answered by lost one 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Rudeness is sometimes a mask for something else. These relatives may feel that you and your husband are showing off because you're financially secure. While you may be sending nice gifts out of love, they may resent your generousity. Next year, tone it down. For your father and sister-in-law, make it a Christmas card Christmas, and leave it at that. Send gifts to the kids (less expensive gifts), not money. In fact, don't send money to anyone. It offends people who feel financially insecure, even though they can use the cash. You still may not get a response, but don't worry about it. Your heart is in the right place and that's all that matters. Whatever you do, don't approach them about it now. Continue to treat them with kindness and move on.
2007-01-01 11:07:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly Happy New Years, second, Its the thought that counts, whatever you give you shall get back 2 x the amount of thoughtness you hand out. It you feel like you should get something in return for your thoughtfulness and you don't! you could do either 1 of 2 things. 1- you can bring it to there attention in a nicely put way and let them know how you feel about the situation. or 2- you can stop sending the gifts all to gather. but just so you know what goes around always always comes back so just keep in mind everyone may not be as fortunate as you and your husband so it's the thought that counts. and if you feel like you have to send them something just a small a thought maybe change the value of your gift. be blessed and have a wonderful new year.
2007-01-01 11:38:40 · answer #3 · answered by ladyofthe night 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop sending the gifts . If no one cares enough to even send you a card then take the money and spend it on the ones who appreciate it even if its not a relative. And never send money, that may be insulting them, you never know how some people think, you have tried now let it go. I will give you my address though and I will send you a thank you card and a gift! lol. HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU.
2007-01-01 10:55:12 · answer #4 · answered by *queenfairy1*Antioch California 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Expecting a thank you is not asking to much. But, maybe as far as them sending gifts they can't manage. None of our families exchange gifts. I have 4 kids and it takes all we have to provide a wonderful Christmas for them. I am not a card sender. Our families do get together for a good meal. It is not even on Christmas day when we do get together. Christmas day we stay home. I'm happy you are well off financially but not everyone else is. Hope your holidays were great, just be happy you can send gifts and be proud you sent them , i'm sure it helps your family and his and i'm sure they appreciate it. Always give more than you receive.......................
2007-01-01 10:53:39 · answer #5 · answered by missy j 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can certainly understand your hurt and frustration. I don't think that giving someone a gift necessarily means they need give you one in return. You always have the choice of not giving them anything at all, and yet you keep doing so. It could be that they can't afford to give to everyone that gives to them, and if you know them, feel that knowing their financial situation, that you understand this and continue to give to them out of your love for them. Even card giving is expensive for someone who struggles paying their bills and putting food on the table. Many people have stopped sending out cards all together, or just send one or two (to grandma and grandpa or Mom and Dad) I do think however, that it is quite rude of them to not call and thank you for your generousity. And for children that neglect to thank someone for a gift, are not at fault. It is the parents that should be prompting their children to show their appreciation. So, think on these things, and then next year if you choose to still give to everyone, then do so not expecting anything in return (not even a card) and you won't be disappointed; but should you choose NOT to give to anyone, then that is okay too. You aren't obligated to do so. A very blessed and Happy New Year to you and your Family!
2007-01-01 10:56:19 · answer #6 · answered by ceegt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only send a card next year and keep your money and gifts! The same thing happened to me this year and in future I'll know not to make the same mistake again. I don't really believe in giving to recieve but I expect a "Thank you" for bothering to do it!
2007-01-01 10:45:54 · answer #7 · answered by Sami 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I do not understand your motives? Did you send presents to them because you wanted to or because you wanted something from them? The giving of a gift is just that. The joy of giving not recieving. If you expected something in return maybe you should have sent a notice...expl. This gift is given to you with the expectation that one of the following items be sent back to me. I think it is more rude to pretend you gave to someone and really had one motive in that action. Its called whats in it for me. Very shallow. My idea is next year go to a retirement home and pass cards to people alone or in need and really learn what this season of giving is about. It may help remove your materialistic expectations and thats a great gift for your kids all their life.
2007-01-01 11:30:58 · answer #8 · answered by johnwall_usa 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just send them something small in future. Have they got money? In some families, they don't buy for adults who have kids, but at least the kids get presents. I take it yours don't? You should at least get a thank you card for what you do
2007-01-01 10:50:10 · answer #9 · answered by Taylor29 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't send to the adults that can't even acknowledge the gift but carry on sending to the kids after all it's not their fault their parents are lacking in manners
2007-01-01 10:46:16 · answer #10 · answered by madamspud 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i am so sorry to hear that, i have no idea what some people are thinking, i understand if they do not have any money, but there is no reason not to at least thank you! next year send them a 5.00 dollar gift card in a plain white envelope saying merry christmas only! good luck and GOD BLESS.
2007-01-01 10:52:41 · answer #11 · answered by reann4239 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋