i love him but he says horible things to me not even thinking about how that might make me feel. i can't take it no more!
2007-01-01 02:43:08 · 24 answers · asked by 909donna702 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You should make it a point to let him know how he makes you feel, because he may be talking out of anger, and really may not realize how much he hurts you. He may be doing it to make himself feel better, without realizing the full IMPACT of hurt he is placing upon you. You should focus on getting him to understand, and not focus on the ill spoken words and certainly you should not allow yourself to dwell on those words to the point of hurting so much you would rather die. Life is very precious, and you must know there are many others that love you , that would hurt , if you hurt yourself, probably more than it would hurt him. Like your mother. A sister. A Brother that you could devastate if you were to give in to such thoughts.
Consider the source of those words, and know that our tongues can hold the power to make others feel that way, and you must be a loving person, or you would not accept it, and would already have left this person, therefore, you need to realize that a part of real love is being able to tell the person you love just about anything even if you know it will hurt them, anger them, or maybe even alienate him.
Tell him that he has brought you so much internal pain, that you have suffered to the point of wanting to end your suffering, but , do not react to those emotions that get you thinking of suicide because emotions fluctuate, and we do not need to react in a physical manner of how we feel inside. Those feeelings will change, and if he refuses to understand how much he hurts you with these words, then you probably should end that relationship, even if it is temporary change to prove to him that you mean what you say, that you cannot take those hurtful words anymore, and you will NOT accept his out of control mouth.
We tend to remember people for the way they made us feel. Let him know, do not react to those feelings, I can assure you that your life is worth living, and that it matters to many more people than just him. Do not stay isolated , find support right there near you, where others understand. A sister or a friend must be close? If not, there are hot lines that you can call where people will listen and help you find a way out.........the power of Prayer is mighty, and if you pray, God will listen, and help you change your circumstances. Perhaps you have opened a door that he really did not choose for you, and God will help you fix it or close it, if you just ask.
Please know that you will leave behind a bunch of broken hearts besides his. Words are not worth dying for. Life is precious. Please take care, and find a way out of your inner pain. Kathy
2007-01-01 03:02:18 · answer #1 · answered by Kathy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would love my self enough to know that this person isn't the best thing for me. People come in our life for a reason, some are meant to stay for just a little while, some a little longer, and some for forever. This man sounds like one of those people that is meant to stay for only for a little while. Love yourself enough to know that you should not let anyone tear you down. You are so much more than that. You don't have to hate this man but you do need to realize that you are too valuable to let anything tear you down. Life is really to short.
2007-01-01 11:11:30 · answer #2 · answered by Gee-Gee 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get the hell away from him. He's not worth dying over. Don't do anything stupid like make an attempt on your life for God's sake. Call for immediate help on a hotline or call your local hospital but do NOT entertain the thought of suicide. My God think about your parents, grandparents, siblings, and any possible children you may have. The guy is a total crumb and has serious mental issues....don't let him ruin your life or convince you to end your precious life.
2007-01-01 10:51:41 · answer #3 · answered by slick chik 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was married for 15 years to someone who used to say horrible things to me all the time. During all those years he always told me that no one else would ever want to be with me. So....when he decided to divorce me I lost it. I burnt myself with cigarettes, cut myself, and did things like that because I thought all those things he told me were true. But I have been in therapy for a year now and I no longer do those kinds of things because I know now that I am a worthy person and I will find someone else who will treat me the way I deserve to be treated. My advice is to tell him what he is doing to you and if it don't change then you will have to leave. But please don't let it get out of hand. Get professional help as soon as you can.
2007-01-01 13:01:26 · answer #4 · answered by msmidnite 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife has done the same thing to me for years and I finally said enough of this emotional abuse and have left. I feel bad in the respect that I let her do this, it was not good for either one of us. The fact that I didn't insist on her seeing a doctor probably made her think that I was giving her permission to treat me that way. Now that I have made the decision to leave I feel stronger than I have in years but I am also going to go to a psychologist to help me understand why I let this abuse happen for years. Do not hurt yourself! Talk about it to other people, you will not be alone. No one deserves to be talk to that way, particular from someone who is supposed to be your friend and lover. Eventually my wife began to physically abuse me but the words left the biggest bruises.
2007-01-01 11:05:46 · answer #5 · answered by familysport 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would run away from him faster than a fugitive with a police canine behind him. If you couldn't take it you would have already left. As long as you stay you are allowing that behavior. Kick him to the curb. There's nothing wrong with loving him, but love him on the other side of the door knob. Good luck.
2007-01-01 11:01:05 · answer #6 · answered by Mrs.Beckford 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my dear gal,it's sad t hear that u r lettin sone live your life for u.wat u feel is not love cos if it were,it wouldn't hurt.maybe u feel by lettin go u would not be able t love anyone else but believe me it would be worth it if u thot of urself first.suicide is definately crazy.my boyfriend of 8yrs broke up 2yrs ago.i kept sulkin thinkin id let d best thing dat eva happened t me slip away.after a year of heartbreak.i found my true soulmate.he loves me so much n tho i felt at 1st i coild neva luv again.i realised it was much more than dat,it wasn't jus love,it had t do wit friendship,trust,carin n every beautiful gift u could giv from ur heart.if u r givin him this n he doesnt appreciate it,U JUS HAVE T LET HIM GO COS LOVE DOESNT HURT.pls think of this
2007-01-01 11:27:17 · answer #7 · answered by fatima 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get away from that person. He is bad for you.
Take authority over your own life. you get to decide what you let into your head, heart, eyes, ears, body and home. Make your home a soothing and comfortable place for yourself. Exclude anything that brings you down, including people who make you feel bad. Take control of your life and arrange it to suit you.
What you describe is not really love...it is something else, something like being addicted to a person, but not love.
2007-01-01 10:47:33 · answer #8 · answered by lifeisagift 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it love that you feel for this guy or the obsession to have him approve of you? Darlin, you are worth so much more, don't ever let any man tell you otherwise!!! Go out and meet more people, there are so many wonderful people out there who would appreciate you for who you are!!!
Make 2007 a time for change...a time to seek out and find your true soul mate!!
2007-01-01 10:52:46 · answer #9 · answered by shez_a_maneater 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
whatever you do dont committ suicide! my husband would always tear me down. I think they do this because they dont feel good about themselves.
in my situation, my husband had the most awful childhood, his mother was killed when he was 10 , and went from family member to family member. his family would always put him down with all his family.
so if he had a bad childhood i think could have to do with it. i also think they treat the ones they love most because they know we'll always stick around because we love them.
but there is only so much someone can take
2007-01-01 10:50:22 · answer #10 · answered by Courtney A 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋