On average what do you usually look for?

Question

I'm conducting a field study to prove that most relationships are about physical attraction more than personality. On some of my research I have discovered that most people who get cheated on and abused are in a relationship that is based soley on physical attraction. Research also shows that 75% of people don't find their soul mates because they have a pre fixed image of their perfect spouse that they skip over people who don't fit that pre determined image. 45% of all relationships based mostly on physical attraction end up in separation.

Answer 1

I always had a specific woman in mind that I would marry. Blondie, 5'8" or more, and on and on. Well the woman I ended up falling in love with and marrying is a brunette, 5'4", and very much the opposite in many values and views on things.

I was very attracted to her, but she was dating someone else at the time which I did not want to get into the middle of. But it ended up it was an abusive-type relationship, and I kind of felt like I was able to come in and be a "hero" in a way, and help save her. Little did I know, as years went by together, she saved me in more ways than I'll ever know. I won't go into boring details. But the main reason I'm answering this question is:

Yes, I do believe that if you concentrate too much on people fitting your expectations or qualifications, you might just miss someone very special with qualities you never knew you wanted.

Note: Not saying to lower your standards, just allow for more diversity.

Answer 2

I use to look for the physical but now I look for a man that makes me will help me grow spiritually, emotionally, and financially ( Future Goals) and a person that I will be able to do the same for. No he has not found me but I do know that he does exist. The physical attraction did result in an abusive situation for me because we were not wanting the same thing out of life.

Answer 3

I found my soul mate pretty early on, I didn't do much of the "dating scene", so I'm not sure I fit your criteria, but I'll give it a go.

There were certain attributes I looked for when thinking about entering a relationship, but they were not set in stone. If I liked the person, I would date them regardless. I found myself generally attracted to men of medium height, slightly overweight, brown hair, blue eyes, and a kind and caring set to their face. These were the first-glance attractions, what attracted ME to the person in a way for me to make the first move, and do not include those who found me attractive enough to approach me. For the relationship to continue on my part, I had to find a sense of humor, a consideration for my needs, and mutual interests. If I did not find these attributes, the relationship would not progress past friendship. There is much more to a relationship than looks.

Answer 4

Most people who cheat arent physically abused, maybe they get bored in their relationship. I agree that the relationships that are from physical attraction end up not working, I would go higher in the percentage, like %80. I look for personality first, then go on from there.

Answer 5

Hee. The relationship I'm in started out as purely physical attraction and was never meant to progress further. If that hadn't changed, though, I doubt we'd still be together after his bout with cancer, which nearly wiped me out, and now he has lupus and is constantly sick from that. But, you know, we share the same interests (we play D&D together, which is, I think, a prerequisite for any relationship I might enter), we discuss things (we're both English majors, and we'll yak for hours about the beauty of Japanese grammar structure or the vowel shift or some such nerdiness), and we make each other laugh. Were it not for all that, we certainly wouldn't be together now.

Answer 6

Mine at first was based on looks but I learned the hard I was young and dumb. My woman now? it was all about her personality, She wasn't the hottest thing around but after we got to know each others heart and mind we fell in love and as time went on, we both got ourselves together physically, we both now are hot looking. She's a babe. So, personality is a must because looks will change for the better when two people are truly in love.

Answer 7

A sense of humor is important, definitely. I like guys who are witty, considerate, genuinely nice, and good at communicating. I also have to trust the person before I can go into a relationship - so that means I probably wouldn't date someone who didn't have a clean record fidelity-wise.
As for physical attraction, I'll be honest here: Being active and having good hygiene is important to me, so that tends to cut out overweight or greasy-looking guys.

Answer 8

personality was what i was after when i found Bumbles. he was a sweet, caring, laid back loving guy. He has some downfall but so do I and I know he loves me for me and not my looks or anything else. I think we had physical attraction because all relationships must have it to work but that wasn't what our whole relationship was based on.

Answer 9

My husband is attracted to me very much, because that's the first thing he saw when he met me. But honestly when I first met my husband I didn't think he was attractive at all! But after I got to know his personality he became very attractive to me. We are very much in love, I love his whole being. But I hope because he's very attracted to me that his love is not based soley on that because he was abused and cheated on.

Answer 10

I personally looked (married happily for 17 years) for a pleasing personality, as well as a beautiful smile. As a teacher for 15 years, I've seen teenagers almost always pick their mates on looks alone, and they never last. I've had a handful that looked for personality, and those relationships, though teenagers, lasted longer. It's just like a marraige based on sex alone....once that sexual appetite has been filled, the marraige goes downhill.