My best friend died four month's ago .?

Question

My last question may have been misleading.
I lost my best friend and lover and soul-mate after 25yrs. and it hurts and there is a big void.
So far I need people to chat with where do I go?

Answer 1

Hello -- I'm sorry for your loss.

I just did a web search for: Grief Support Chat
and it turned up these sites:
http://www.griefnet.org/support/sg2.html
http://www.groww.org/
http://www.griefwatch.com/support_groups.htm
http://www.memory-of.com/Forums/

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross' work in the area of death and grief set the standard in the field:
http://www.elisabethkublerross.com/ (this isn't working for me today - not sure why)
http://www.davidkessler.org/ (collaborated with her toward the end of her own life)

Answer 2

You can try any chat rooms available. What you need is close friends who you can talk to. Time is all that is needed to get beyond your grief. Of course there is a big void, but you can fill with the things you love to do. Take some time for yourself. Do something new. See family more often. Make an album with your lost loves pictures and remember them everyday. Don't dwell on it or it will consume you. I am so sorry for your loss and pain.Take the needed courage and step forward into life. Good Luck.

Answer 3

First of all, I am very sorry to hear of your loss. Nothing but time can take the pain away. Sometimes the best thing to do when a death has occured is to redirect yourself. This could be doing volunteer work for a food bank, the Salvation Army shelter or maybe driving cancer patients to and from treatments. By helping others can help you in dealing with your pain. Good luck and wish you all the very best.

Answer 4

I would suggest an internet group for people who have lost loved ones. But in your case I would suggest going to a support group for people who are grieving in your area so you can talk in person with others who are going through the same thing.

If you don't know how to find one, one place to start is a suicide hot line. First, they will talk to you about your grief even though you are not thinking about suicide. I think that might help you on a day like today -- a holiday. It's particularly difficult on a holiday and they will understand.

Also loss of a partner can lead to suicide so they keep information about grief support groups in your area. They will have the information about when and where they meet.

I think you should go and talk to people, but given the tone of your question, it wouldn't hurt to call a suicide hotline now. Believe me they will understand. Please take care.

Answer 5

It has often been said that losing a relationship is often comparable to the person dying. In a sense it is true in that they are out of your life and for all experiential purposes dead to having interaction with you.

I know from personal experience just how painful a breakup can be. I totally empathize but know that it will get better. The speed in which things do get better is in part up to you. When I first went through one of my most serious breakups I did not want to not grieve. I felt it would not honor what it was that we had by letting go so easily. Though there was a certain logic to that train of thought in the end I severely depleted myself causing various health as well as psychological problems.

It did however help me stay attached enough to continue to make the efforts to get back together with her. And though it only lasted 10 months after that the experiences that came out of being in that relationship as well as the friends I gained were invaluable to me. If you look hard enough you will see that most things have a reason or at least something usefully can come out of it if you chose to see and take from it exactly that.

One of the most usefully tips I can give you in coping with you loss is living in the present moment. Right now you are either depressed by living in the past or anxious about what the future will bring for you. The only true moment is the one we are currently experiencing. If you truly sense what is going on around you at this very moment you will realize that there is much more to life than the pain you are experiencing.

Try a sensory meditation where at first you only focus on your breath. Then expand your awareness to what you hear, smell, taste, touch, and see. Try not to indulge yourself in thoughts and their associative emotions. Sure they will come naturally but do not be attached to them. You can accomplish this in part by not judging them. Simply acknowledge their existence and let them go.

You do not need to been in lotus position to practice such a meditation. Try doing some walking. Walking is great for grounding the individual. As you meditate you might draw your focus to the soles of the feet. As obvious as this should be most people do not know how grounding such an act can be.

A book I found to be very helpful in which I would have suffered greatly without its help is called "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. His book along with other coping skills I had learned helped me get through my last serious breakup and to stay that way without falling apart.

Though I could right a book on this subject I will leave you with one last bit of help. A Greek Philosopher once said you can never step in the same river twice. This statement pertains to change. It is inevitable. Most people fear it but it can be your friend instead by simply shifting your perspective.

No matter whether things are good or bad they will change. Right now things are bad for you and if you take note of this principle you will understand that they will get better again. Change is like the waves lapping against the shore. They come in, and at another point they come out, and circle back around to come in again. Embrace the rhythms of nature. Stand outside yourself and see what is and then even your pain will not seem so bad, as things are as they are.

Please do not think I am trivializing your pain. I know it can be tremendous. I'm just hoping you will have faith and to adopt some of the things I have found helpful in life as I truly do care.

If you need someone to talk to feel free to e-mail me. I can either give you more personal wisdoms and or be an ear for a person in need. I will take the time to hold you in the light. Take care of yourself.

Answer 6

so sorry about your loss.you can talk to people on yahoo answers or email me i went through a similar expericence 10 years ago.there are also grief support groups

Answer 7

Jesus is the only one that can fill this kind of void...Best Wishes. Sorry for your pain.

Answer 8

you will get over it