When a husband has a history of profiles on dating sites, and answers an e-mail with, "Unload a photo and I'll let you know. I want a friend too."? Husband has been married to wife for 14 years, and has 3 children.
Husband has not had a phyiscal affair, and claims that this is not "cheating" because it's just on the computer.
2007-01-01 01:31:09 · 25 answers · asked by dearreal 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think he is treading on very dangerous territory. I would talk to him about it seriously. He needs to stop while he may still have it under control. That kind of thing can get addictive and develop into much more. As others have mentioned cheating comes in many forms. The fact that he is looking for some sort of gratification outside of your relationship, however 'innocent', is worrying, and you need to get to the heart of the issue. If there is something he is lacking in your relationship, you need to find out what that is. Best of luck!
2007-01-01 01:39:04 · answer #1 · answered by Lauren D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like hubby has an addiction to pictures and is looking for his jollies.
There's an old saying, "What's Good For The Goose, Is Good For The Gander" meaning...if one does it..the other has every right to do the same. He can't have his cake and eat it too.
Sounds like you need to sit hubby down and have a strong heart to heart talk with him about what you will and will not except.
I wouldn't believe a man like that as far as I could throw one, (which isn't far). He's just biding his time until he finds the right "playmate" My guess is he's lying to you to get you to butt out.
These programs can be used to track internet use. Most are shareware and have a limited time,while there are some that are completely freeware. There are quite a few that will run quietly in the background. It's up to you whether you use these are not. Always a chance of things going bad.
http://www.download.com/3120-20_4-0.html?tg=dl-20&qt=internet%20logger&tag=srch
2007-01-01 01:46:04 · answer #2 · answered by Voice 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You define cheating not him. If you feel like he has cheated, then he has. Technicalities don't apply here.
Simply put your foot down and provide 2 choices. Tell him to stop and never do it again (if you willing to continue) or let him know that you are going on dates, but not sleeping with anyone. Go to a few male strip joints and see what his reaction would be. If he is upset and agrees that he is wrong, then you can move on and find out what you need to do to spice things up (besides 3 ways)
If he is indifferent, then you need to take him to the cleaners. Take the computer to a computer store and ask them to copy the entire drive, and print out the excerpts. Talk to an attorney about what you need, then jack him up!
Plainly after 14 years things are going to get dull. But that isn't acceptable. Has he been telling you he want some spice, or something?
2007-01-01 01:44:41 · answer #3 · answered by Computer Dr. 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Leaving profiles on dating sites is "testing the water" and isn't a good sign. Something is lacking. It may not lead to something more but why not YA rather than dating sites? It pretty much indicates an intent doesn't it? "Cheating" is different things to different folks and marriage requires negotiating these definitions. It's perfectly logical for it to be cheating to you and not to him and some amicable settlement needs to be reached. Is counseling out of the question?
2007-01-01 01:50:16 · answer #4 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im a regular on dating sites too, its very commom to mix and mingle at dating sites, as for the emails, Some times i also recieved email like that, its maybe a spamming email, even if im a girl. And i got a lot of wierd emails too, if you worried about this emails, tell the husband, be frank. You will get him all blur and confused, as we all know that men are not good at guessing what women is thinking. Don't confuse him further, just tell him what is bothering you, and im sure he will stop doing it, or at least explain to you why the emails exist.
2007-01-01 01:39:12 · answer #5 · answered by jade s 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey do yourself a favor and buy the following books:
Wild at Heart by john Eldredge (for the man)(Read it yourself as well)
Captivationg (for the woman) by Staci and John Eldredge
Love and Respect by Dr Emerson Eggerichs
THe power of the praying WIfe by Stormie Omartian
Read these books and apply what you read and watch what happens in your marriage. DOnt lose repsect for your man. Respect does not have to be earned. GOd commands women to have respect for their men and GOd commands men to love their wives...in both cases UNCONDITIONALLY!
These books read well and are excellent and will really help you through all the blind spots, including this one. PS Pray and ask GOd to frustrate the plans of evil in your husbands life!
2007-01-01 01:39:57 · answer #6 · answered by uniquechild 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, sometimes, a person just seeks the mental gratification of being wanted or attracted to. I don't think anyone here will deny that it is a wonderful feeling to have someone attracted to you. However, there is the possibility that he is just a player, and that reflects poorly on the woman who married without truly knowing him.
Neurotically Yours,
NightSpawn
2007-01-01 01:34:04 · answer #7 · answered by the_nightspawn 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
When we indulge in the minor things it can always lead to the major things. Bottom line,,,it may appear to be nothing at first, but to open the door to such, can be devistating, if we aren't good at controling it. In the bible, King David simply looked upon Bathsheba, and it led to him having her husband put on the front line of battle to be killed. I hope you get my point and Good luck with your marriage.
2007-01-01 01:51:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It means he is trying to cheat. I guess the longer you are married the more you want to know if you still "have it" or not, that could be it also.
2007-01-01 01:33:37 · answer #9 · answered by rjinaz81 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's cheating no matter how you look at it and it WILL lead to a physical affair.
2007-01-01 01:42:38 · answer #10 · answered by livlafluv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋