At the moment my partner and kids treat me like ****, my partner keeps telling me they'll be better of if I move out but my child benefit and tax credits are payed into his bank and I have no access to this so I have no money to live on until I start claiming Income Support and that takes time to come through. Since last question partner has been arrested for domestic violence but only got a caution. I don't really want to leave my daughter behind but I don't know how much more I can take, any advice.
2006-12-31 22:50:43 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
dont leave your daughter
2006-12-31 22:52:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Try contacting social services or child protection agency to get financial help and have the child benefits and tax credits moved to an account you set up ASAP. This way you can leave and money will be there for you. What about the other kids? You say you want to take your daughter, is she his too? Do it right or you could lose her in a court battle. Call until you get the answers you need before you act. Good Luck! =)
2006-12-31 23:48:12 · answer #2 · answered by DB 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in a catch 22 situation here.My advice would be go the see a Solicitor or Citizens Advice, you won't have to pay because you can claim legal aid.
I sympathise with you because it's the hardest thing in the world for a good mother to consider leaving her children.
Honestly love, I don't think you have any option at the moment, other than to do that.
You say kids, and then you say you want to take your daughter with you. Little confusing to me.(more information please).
Has he children from a previous relationship and a daughter with you?
Advice from a woman of 6O, get out, go to a refuge, you won't need money, they will give you and your daughter (if you decide to take her with you)anything you need to see you through this stage until you start to receive benefits (in your own name).
The kids concerned might be treating you this way because they don't respect you, sounds to me as though living with this "man" you have lost all your self confidence and self respect.
My advice to you is get out, he will never change or treat you any differently than he does now, you are worth much more, and so is your daughter.
Don't stay with him until he really hurts you or kills you, you read about these situations every day.
Don't become a statistic, if needbe, you might have to leave your daughter with him until you can take her away from the situation you have found yourself in.
There is help out there for you to make a happy life for you and your daughter,don't stay with this man he's a bastard you and your daughter can do better. Even being on your own is better than living the way you are at the moment.
Believe me, the "kids" be they his or yours, will in the end respect you for standing up to him.
Good luck,do it, show him how much of a woman you really are.You've been strong enough to have suffered the indignities he has subjected you to , now go and show him your strong enough to put a stop to it.
Let us know what you have decided to do, I'll be logging in regularly.Good luck again.
2007-01-03 16:51:05 · answer #3 · answered by animalwatch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out and leave taking your kids with you. There is a domestic abuse helpline who will help you every step of the way. With regards to the financial side of things any money that your partner gets would be stopped. You would make a claim for yourself and your children. So don't worry you wouldn't be left stranded or desolate.
The number for Womens Aid is 0800 2000 247
Good luck for the future :)
2006-12-31 23:03:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why on earth is YOUR money going into his account, and you don't have access? That needs changed now. I hope you leave and take your daughter with you, there is help out there. Another thing, a caution for domestic abuse, where the heck do you live, that's just not right.
2006-12-31 22:54:51 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should do what your heart is telling you...MOVE OUT & TAKE YOUR DAUGHTER with YOU.
Look in the telephone directory & look in the help pages...In the UK its usually at the front.
Contact a Womans refuge or a Domestic Violence helpline.
They will find you secure temporary accomadation & sort out all your finances.
When you are strong enough to try & move into a home of your home with your daughter they will help you & provide ongoing help should you need it.
Please take heed of the advice offered so far...Get out NOW before your Daughter witnesses the violence being done ... Violent men dont change ...They get worse until some-one stops them in their tracks...Sadly this usually ends in a Woman losing her life.
2006-12-31 23:44:45 · answer #6 · answered by skippy's mum 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a very messy situation that needs urgent attention.
I have no idea of which country u r in and which law to advise u, and iam assuming england (I have no idea of the laws in the UK or how to seek urgent help).
Surely there must be able to seek help from somewhere unless of course u r the problem.
Definately don't leave ur daughter behind especially if she is on the child protection list (for protection against whom).
Need more detail to offer u advice with this disaster.
2006-12-31 23:01:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It depends on why she is on the register - if it's because of the domestic violence from your partner then you won't have a problem. However if it's because of something you have done then you may have a problem. Talk to child welfare for advice and good luck - I'm sure you and yur daughter would be better off somewhere else on your own xxx
2006-12-31 22:54:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is a women's help group called WIRE - look in the phone book for their number. They will support you in doing what is necessary. You definitely should not put up with any kind of abuse as that is bad for you, your children and your abusive spouse.
Get out but get help first. Do not leave your daughter or children with your ex - if he abuses you he is abusing them and without you there, they are completely unprotected. If they are your payments in your name - contact Centrelink and get them to pay them into your own account. There should be some kind of emergency support for you somewhere. Good luck.
2006-12-31 22:56:00 · answer #9 · answered by goodcompanypls 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you thought about getting a job instead of relying on a public dole? Isn't your daughter more important that money? If nothing else, there are numerous women's shelter's throughout the world that you could stay at with your daughter temporarily until you got on your feet if you partner is abusive.
2007-01-01 01:26:44 · answer #10 · answered by bottleblondemama 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If child services is already involved in your situation talk to someone there.
Otherwise, if you honestly know that you are being mistreated you would be expected to take your child and go to a shelter, and tell them you can't stay with this person any longer.
I don't know why you'd even consider leaving your child behind with a "partner" (or even with her father if you were married to him)
2006-12-31 23:01:13 · answer #11 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋