i have strong attracton towards guys,itold it to my g-friend on whiich she suggested to consult a psycologist can i seriously find a solution? pl suggest remedial measures its serious
2006-12-31 22:46:37 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you are a guy, then you should pray about it. God will guide you.
2006-12-31 22:53:32 · answer #1 · answered by krzylove 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not entirely clear on your question. You are a guy and you have a girlfriend but you are attracted to other men? So you might be gay? And your family is very conservative so you are afraid that they wouldn't accept this. Is that right?
Well, first of all, you might not be gay. Have you ever heard of the "Kinsey scale"? Basically the point of the scale is to say that there is a range or spectrum of sexual attraction. On one end of the scale, you have strict and total heterosexual attraction - someone who is only attracted to the opposite sex and never even considers the same sex. On the opposite end of the spectrum are people with strictly homosexual attractions and zero heterosexual interest. Then, there are people in the middle. I would say that most people are somewhere in the middle, it's like a bell curve, there's always a distribution and variety of expressions in all of life including sexuality. Maybe you are only mildly interested in the same sex. Maybe you are just curious because you are young and feel like "experimenting". That is totally normal. You are not sick - don't worry. You are a human being! Sex is a normal part of the human experience.
You don't need a psychologist to "fix" anything because there is nothing wrong with you, but it may be helpful for you to talk to someone to help support you in dealing with this question and dealing with your girlfriend and family, who may resist the process.
The bottom line is that you need to live your life and you need to find a way to be happy. Even though your family may not approve, I'm sure that they mostly want you to be happy and be yourself. If they don't support you, then reach out and find support elsewhere.
Good luck!
2007-01-01 06:59:51 · answer #2 · answered by Elizabeth P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends what kind of "orthodox" you mean. There's a film about Orthodox Jewish gays and lesbians that you should see: Trembling before G-d.
Whether you're Jewish or something else, PLEASE do not get married until you have worked this out.
As to remedial measures, first you have to figure out how serious this is. Are your fantasies about men? Are you attracted toward women?
Your first step should be to see a psychologist, your gf is right. See someone who is open-minded, not someone who is against all gays.
2007-01-01 06:52:18 · answer #3 · answered by Katherine W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, try not to think of this as a problem or an illness. You may be wired that way and if you are, trying to change yourself will cause you a lot of stress and you will be unhappy.
Find a therapist who understands what you are going through. Don't go to one that is obviously connected to your religion. Therapists are supposed to be trained to be non-judgemental but you may need to be careful.
Once you find a therapist of psychologist, they will help you sort out your situation. You will be able to figure out where you are on the spectrum between completely straight, bi-sexual, and completely gay.
Hang in there.
2007-01-01 08:56:38 · answer #4 · answered by Jack P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said you have strong attraction towards guys but did not elaborate in what sense. Do you have feeling for sleeping with them, then I feel your gf is correct you should consult a psychologist, else liking guys is nothing wrong. I have so many guys who are intelligent and good looking. I appreciate them and would like to sit with them for long hours and discuss on variety of issues.
2007-01-01 06:54:43 · answer #5 · answered by Tony 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't say you are gay but you are possibly bi-sexual and are attracted to both females and males.
Seeing a psychologist will only clarify what you are feeling. Since you have a GFriend this Gfriend is part of you equation of your own sexual identity. You can also talk with your RABBI if you are jewish (he'll give you spiritual advice)
Seek out counsel of some kind. Just don't get married to this GFriend until you've worked things out in your head!
2007-01-01 07:17:13 · answer #6 · answered by aunt_beeaa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All families R orthodox in some way or the other,I agree with your girlfriend get help whether psychologist/psychiatrist
2007-01-01 07:10:11 · answer #7 · answered by Richard e 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋