My Swedish boyfriend and I plan to visit my boyfriend's family in Malmoe next summer. I'm an Asian and I have no clue about the family values of the Swedes. I asked my BF about it but he just told me to be who I am....which is not that helpful. I'm thinking about buying them gifts and dressing up neatly when I meet them. Will that please them? And how shall I act around them. I know Asian parents like timid and neat in-law. But what do the Swedes like? Any advice...please please please?
2006-12-31 21:22:35 · 5 answers · asked by Confused 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Other - Cultures & Groups
I went to Sweden for my first time for a family reunion last July. I was raised in the US.
I would love to go back.
I found the country and people were to be extremely charming and nice. Imagine going to the country's capital and there are no homeless people, no trash on the streets, and everything is just nice and clean. It's so unlike many US cities in that respect.
Many of the older generations (at least my relatives) chose to stay in the same area where they grow up. They said that is very common for Swedes. There weren't any multi-generational families living under one roof among our relatives (there were 80 people from around Sweden who came), which is a big difference from the other side of my family (Mexican). Their families also tended to be smaller, 1-3 children, not big families like my Mexican side. For some reason in the summer there are TONS of babies there. I am curious to see if there are differences in birthday groupings in Scandinavia, because there were lots of babies about who all appeared to be within 1 month of each other in age. I noticed a lot more fathers caring for the children in Stockholm. It wasn't odd to see two men out for a walk pushing prams with babies in them. You just don't see that around here (usually the mother is present).
It was SO easy for me (a stupid American) to get around, because everyone speaks English. They have to take it in school as they are growing up. I would recommend listening to some language tapes starting soon though, because it is a hard language to pronounce correctly. I started two weeks before my trip and could barely get out the requisite "I'm sorry, but I don't speak Swedish" at the end.
As far as gifts go, I would recommend bringing a bottle or two of wine or a local spirit from your area (if they drink alcohol), because the taxes there make alcohol exhorbitantly expensive to buy.
People in Stockholm were very stylish, attractive, blonde and tall. I know it's a stereotype, but coming from the Bay Area it was really different, because the population is so mixed here. It really was bizarre for me to be in a hotel where blondes were the maids. In Sweden there really weren't a lot of people from foreign countries (then again, I spent a lot of time in Motala and Linhoping which aren't exactly huge tourist destinations for foreigners). In fact the local paper came out and covered our reunion - which made the front page of a few of the other nearby locals. The headline (translated from Swedish) was "Americans Invade Motala."
In all honesty it seemed like the people I met (everywhere) were very keen on making a good impression for their country. It wasn't hard to do, it really is spectacular in the summer, and you can tell that the high taxes people pay really make it a pleasant place to live. Except in winter. I asked my cousin what they did there in winter and he said, "we get depressed." "Yes, but what do you do?" "We're depressed."
Good luck!
2006-12-31 21:59:41 · answer #1 · answered by you_likea_the_sauce 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hard to say without knowing your boyfriend's parents, but if you are not timid I don't think that you should act timid. Swedes in general are pretty neutral as far as timidity goes - it's thought of as a personal characteristic, not as a social code (neither a positive nor a negative one). So don't act timid unless you are. I think that they will be genuinely interested in whom you are as a person, so I agree with your boyfriend - be as you are, so that they will learn to know you. There are no wide generation gaps in Swedish culture. Young people usually get along very easily with older generations, and can talk with them quite freely and in great friendliness about most things. I'm sure your "in-laws" would be happy if you brought them a gift, but it does absolutely not need to be something expensive. A little something that is characteristic of your country or culture will surely be very much appreciated. And I'm sure you won't have to dress up to meet them. Most Swedes dress pretty casually. But your boyfriend should at least be able to tell you about that!
Good luck!
2007-01-01 06:24:48 · answer #2 · answered by AskAsk 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I find Eastern cultural family relationships to be more about playing a role. There are certain specific expectations about what should be said and done.
Generally, Western families just want an open and honest person who is being polite but themselves, rather than following polite rituals.
About Sweden in particular, I have only known a few people, but all really easy going.
2006-12-31 23:26:20 · answer #3 · answered by ifyousaysooooooooooo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be nice and I think it will work out just fine!
2007-01-03 03:32:12 · answer #4 · answered by sunny_marika 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just got to
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Lightof_truth/
2006-12-31 21:45:34 · answer #5 · answered by navi p 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋