thanx for your answers i have told him already how i feel i dont know what to do next im scared?

Answer 1

Ask him if he thinks he's depressed or just miserable. Ask him if its him or if he feels its the marriage or you.

If he says he feels like its depression ask him if you can set up an appointment for the two of you to talk to a counselor because this situation is really hard for both of you.

If he says he feels like he's just miserable and its the marriage ask him if you can set up an appointment for both of you with a counselor to see if there are things that can be done to make everyone happier.

He may be willing to listen to some objective reason from someone outside. Many times people (especially husbands) tend to think their wife doesn't know what she's talking about, but they'll listen to someone else.

If he won't go then you set up an appointment for yourself, and see if a professional can give you direction about how to handle your situation. People living in your situation can be driven to do things that they otherwise wouldn't do (like drink) because it can be so difficult.

Stop drinking. If you have to calm down make some not-too-strong coffee and load it up with light cream and a spoon of sugar. Believe it or not, that is calming.

I don't know if you have children or not, but here's what could happen if you aren't careful:

It comes out that your husband isn't depressed. He's just miserable. You decide to separate, he tells the court you're drinking and he is depressed but will get medication for his depression. The court decides the children are better off with a father with depression (who is getting treated) than a mother who drinks - and, voila, he gets to live happily ever after with the children and then he tells the court he feels better now, and he stops taking the antidepressants.

The laying-in-bed and being a miserable troll is a very effective way of making everyone else so miserable they'll be the ones to make decisions and take actions - while the miserable person gets to lay in bed, pass himself off as depressed (or maybe he is depressed, in which case he needs others to make some moves), and he can come up smelling like a rose (even if he is a "poor, depressed, rose").

Leave your house for several hours each day if you have to in order to get a break - but DO NOT DRINK and do not do anything that could be perceived as victimizing your depressed husband (the situation may never get to court, but it could; you do need help from an outsider no matter what).

Answer 2

Agra is right in that you need to look after you as much if not more than him. But there have ben situations where someone took that mindset and it ended up bad for the person they cared about. We as human beings are stronger than we realize and right now you need to be the strong one. If things don't work out and he won't seek help at least you'll always know you tried. Abandoning a love one will always make you feel bad down the road regardless of whether they desrved it or not. Seek help from family members and get themto talk to him as well. Odds are if he realizes others care and see there is a problem it may get through to him.

Answer 3

Well I think it's good that you told him how you feel. But you have to remember that a marriage is not always 50-50. There will be times when you will have to give more than you get in return. It sounds like now might be one of those times. You didn't elaborate on what his medical problems are but it sounds like he is going through a lot right now. Just try and be as understanding as you can. I suggest you start seeing a counselor for your own benefit to help you cope. If he wants to go with you that would be great! But don't pressure him, just do this for yourself. Good luck sweety.

Answer 4

Girl, you need to break free from this guy! You need to take care of YOU, first of all! You can't take care of someone who's not willing to do anything for himself!! He has a choice to make here and he's not doing that, so what can you do about it? NOTHING!
You need to pull away and let this guy know that his misery is rubbing off on you and that's not good for either of you! But, for the most part, you need to tell him to see a doctor, or you'll be the one leaving. It's not a safe environment for you, nor is it healthy for you, mentally, to have to endure this kind of relationship!
Don't be afraid to walk out. Talk to someone...like a family member or friend. You need to get some counselling, too. That will help you put things into perspective and help you heal.
It's difficult to leave a relationship where you're trying everything in your power to keep the family together, but it's all 'one-sided'. You need to let him go and maybe this is what he needs!
This guy obviously has issues, but you're not obligated to try to fix his problems, only HE can do that!
Just talk to someone in your family, or your doctor, or some professional who can give you some good advice, and motivation to take that next step!
Good luck!

Answer 5

You've told him how you feel and why.

Now do yourself a favour and get the hell away from him, don't wait until he thinks too long and hard about the situation, he might really harm you.

Don't back down now, be brave you will benefit from your strength in the long run.

Good luck and let us know how you get on.

Answer 6

React accordingly. If you feel threatened, then you may want to lodge a police report and request for their protection. A court order is also another possibility.

Answer 7

Can you be specific?
Are you scared that you have to face the fact you cant handle how the situation has become, and you may leave? Why are you scared?????

Answer 8

Ever hear of waiting for a response?

Answer 9

only you know the answers,pressures these days upon couples ,people can change and don't let anyone tell you any different, good luck

Answer 10

Telling him was the first step,, now it is up to him to stop his nasty behavior or your out of there!