2 am and my son brings in 2 16 yr old friends drunk. They were walking to our house to see my son, and called him. my son was 2 blocks away and went with his friend to get them and bring them home because my son is concerned about their well being about being shot or picked up from the police. My son lost a dear friend a while ago and he did not want anything to happen to them.
My thing is, I called one of the boys moms and let her know her son was here wasted, she couldn't pick him up and will in the morn. The other one, I did not have the number...was I in the right doing this? I feel I was....see my son is very concerned about his friends and don't want to lose anymore...he has lost a few last year.
I also questioned him and his friend about them drinking. I am unsure he was, although he smelled somewhat, but he knows that I do not tolerate liers, he told me he didn't.
How should I handle this in the morning? He wants me to let him deal with it...should I??
Serious advise please....
2006-12-31 20:40:58 · 23 answers · asked by Trese 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
That's a hard one - You did the right thing by calling the one boys mother and I personally would inform the other kids mother. Don't get me wrong most of us at that age drank or experimented but you know you are the mom - Mom is the law - Your son doesn't want to lose his friends because you step in but he won't and you need to let the parents of both kids know. Just be thankful they weren't driving.
However, your son would respect you a lot for allowing him to handle it and that would in the long run would benefit you and him. He'll feel like you don't see him as a kid but as an adult, you trust his actions and he will likely be more mature in the future because out of respect for you won't do what is bad. Wow this is a hard one
2006-12-31 20:50:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
This is a hard one for me to answer because I have never lived in an area where the children are afraid of being shot, thank god!! But I do live in an area where all parents are protecting all the children, And you did the right thing calling the other parents about what is happening, they need to know. If the parents, where aware of the things that are going on, not only with their own, but who these kids are hanging around with, maybe their wouldn't be so much crap going on!!! I am a firm believer that a child is raised by a village!!! Hundred of Eyes are better then 2, agree? Keep doing what you can, and make sure that their parents know whats going on, Do Not for any reason hide the truth from the other parents, even if they seem to not give a sh!t. At least you do...God Bless you and your son.
2006-12-31 20:56:11 · answer #2 · answered by Diana J 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you were definitely in the right calling the parents. Drinking at that age is never a good idea. Not to say that I didn't do it, but maybe if someone had called my parents I would have stopped some of the things I was doing. As the adult in the situation I think you have the responsibility to let the other parents know. In the morning maybe you should talk to them as you would your own son and caution them all to the dangers of drinking, and what would have happened if the police did call them. If the one parent wasn't able to come pick her son up then I question her parenting skills, my parents would have been there ASAP regardless of what they were doing, and maybe you talking to him would really help this kid out.
2007-01-01 00:01:15 · answer #3 · answered by Mrs_M 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You've had plenty of good answers with the few bad ones...
I just need to ad this small note..
Your son going to get the to Drunk kids... Sure He was thinking the right thing... (( I did the same thing )) But if he would have been picked up with them and under age would have been 6 months probation automatic and over night in jail... If he doesn't have a record, if he has any record open for DA to recommend jail time and rehab... He just had to be with one person under the legal limit.
Remind him every action has NOT the greatest reaction in this day an time... And if one of the Parents decides to press charges for their chid drinking Before or After being at your house YOU have to prove you and your son Had no part in their intake...
Your son needs to know His friends drinking can cause you harm just as much as their selves... People point fingers and everyone is Guilty Until proven Innocent in our Law system coast to coast...
Good Luck... You've done Good and Your Son was thinking he was doing good... After they sleep it off. Take each home or make sure their parents come and get them. Tell the parents face to face something needs to be done or at least hear if they have any concerns to what has happened....
2006-12-31 21:17:52 · answer #4 · answered by Spinner...428 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
To be honest i think you need to give your son a little more credit, sometimes you need to understand that they do tell the truth so if he said he wasn't drinking then you need to understand that he probably was not, and give him a pat on the back for having him pick up his friends it really does show his character you gotta look at it this way, what if your son by picking up his friends saved their lives. I don't think theres anything wrong with it kids will be kids im 19 and i had my fair share of dumb things, it seems like your son is a true friend i'd rather say good job than get him in trouble.
2006-12-31 20:53:11 · answer #5 · answered by hero3k 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think what you did was right, you should definatly notify the parents. Just think if those kids were suppost to be home that night and instead were wondering around drunk, so you did a good thing. But I would have instead asked the first parents to kindly come pick their son up, it's their responsibility not yours as mean as that might sound. And then to try to find the other kid's number to get him on his way home, if there drunk and that young they need to get home safely and to there parents to have them take care of them and let them know what's going on. Just think if they were so drunk and passed out with alcohol poisoning :/ This is why I believe in sending the kids on there way home with their parents. And with the mom not being able to get him, I would have just taken him myself home that just seemed like a horrible exscuse from her.
2006-12-31 22:57:44 · answer #6 · answered by mtoWCS09 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I absolutely think you were right to call the boy's mom whose number you had. I'd be concerned about the boys even sleeping at my house because kids can die when they're inebriated, either from alcohol poisoning or from aspirating their vomitus. I would also insist the other boy give you his parents' number in the morning. There are a lot of liability issues to be concerned about, and I'm glad your son wants to be a good samaritan, but it's a dangerous situation.
2006-12-31 21:06:05 · answer #7 · answered by rcpeabody1 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you did the right thing to phone the parent. I have an out of control 13 (almost 14 years) daughter who sneaks out, she drinks when is out...stressful and I hate the fact that the parents dont phone me to tell me her condition. I only find out through my older children. It is very good that your son is concerned...but you as a parent know how the other parents would feel. It is good that you open you door to them...it is better than being on the streets. Talk to all three boys in morning. Good luck.
2006-12-31 20:49:10 · answer #8 · answered by shell 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your son sounds like the more mature of the bunch. I would be torn between doing what you think is right and doing what your son thinks is right.
If they are out getting drunk quite a bit then perhaps it would be best to let their parents know of their behaviour. It depends if it is a common thing for them, or is it a once off because of new years?
2006-12-31 20:45:45 · answer #9 · answered by trysssa999 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you did the right thing, I would honestly let him deal with it but make it very clear you are there to help if help is needed. Keep the lines of honesty and communication open, inform him that you are not happy about the situation but you trust his judgment and will help him out if he needs it. He needs to make his own mistakes but to also understand you will be there to help him back up. As far as the friends go inform the parents if possible but not in a nasty look what your child did way but in a kind and I helped them out last night just to let you know what happened kind of way.
He will be friends with who he wants to be friends with and they may not be who you would pick but forcing your taste on a 15 year old will usually just backfire, talk to him like an adult and let him know your opinion but do not force anything. If he looses friendships he will be upset but he will make new friends who won't be lost as easily.
That is my advise an opinion :)
2006-12-31 20:47:53 · answer #10 · answered by Lillithin 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋